The Totally Terrific Trash-Chan!!
All around the world, you hear the phrase spoken so frequently. It's become almost second nature to the otaku and weaboo masses of the world, spouted both in fury and in camaraderie...
"YOUR WAIFU IS TRASH!!!"
To most people, this phrase either elicits laughs, or unnecessary rage. That is, except for one person. One person in particular feels nothing but envy.
On planet Earth, down to Japan, down to Sounai City, down to a very dirty alleyway next to a ramen shop, a smelly 18 year-old girl shouts in disgust from her cramped little trashcan.
"THAT'S NOT ME! THAT'S NOT ME AT ALL!!" Trash-Chan yelled as she banged around inside her trashcan.
The shout rings out across the area, making passers by on the street slow their walking speed in confusion, or in the case of a few older citizens, in irritation. In the Slurp N'Gulp noodles next door, Saori sighs saying "Not again..." as several customers get up to leave. This was the third time this day that Trash-chan was shouting. Saori considered yelling at her again, but she'd recently upped the tantrum quota to five shouts a day, since Trash-chan so eloquently argued that online disputes of best girls were VERY important to her. Saori would leave it be for now... or so she thought.
Right after her thought, a loud clanging erupted its way to the front door of Slurp N'Gulp, and the familiar motorized trashcan wheeled its way in the restaurant, nearly running over some customers. The trashcan was open, blooming with cans and miscellaneous snack garbage. Oh, there was also a ragged and smelly girl in the middle that Saori REALLY did not want to deal with right now.
"SAORI!!! I have HAD IT!"
"Have you now?" Saori rolled her eyes.
"You sure bet I have! Today was the last straw! THE LAST STRAW I tell you! Another one of those generic pink-haired bimbos got called trash again! That's like the 40th time this month!!" Trash-Chan yelled while rocking her can.
"And this will be the 40th time I remind you that they mean it as an insult to the character." Saori said, looking up at the ceiling in disinterest.
"But I'M Trash-Chan and I'M not an insult! When will people realize that?"
"Probably never. Garbage is garbage, Toshi. If you wanna get respected you're gonna need clean up your act. Also your hair, it looks terrible."
Saori had lost count of how many times she tried teaching this concept to Trash-Chan. She was pretty sure it was in the hundreds by now.
"I told you! I CAN'T! This is my angle! People can't help but love and remember little old me, with my adorable trashcan home! I'm cute, affordable, and you can take me anywhere! What other girl offers that?"
"Probably none of them. But they also don't smell like old cheese, so I think your approach is a bit flawed here."
Trash-Chan puffed her cheeks out and pouted heavily. "You just don't understand, Saori! None of you do! I am SICK of it!" Trash-Chan rose out of her can triumphantly, raising a fist in the air.
"No more waiting around! Today is the day that I start a revolution! Today is the day that trash becomes the next best thing since myself! You'll see! You'll ALL see!" With a confident woosh, Trash-Chan dove back into her trashcan. The little motorized wheels revved up, then burnt rubber on the recently replaced Slurp N' Gulp wood flooring as the can flew out the front door.
"Oh, COME ON TOSHI! YOU'RE CLEANING THIS UP YOU KNOW!" This would be the third time this month Trash-Chan had ruined the flooring. Saori's mom was probably going to be upset. But, this was normal. Saori knew the routine by now.
At least once a month, Trash-Chan would get herself all up in a fuss, usually after spending a whole night watching moe anime on her smart phone, which was piggybacking off the Slurp N' Gulp wifi. She'd get mad, hash it out with Saori who was more than disinterested at this point, then speed out with great plans, only to return within several hours. Saori was sure that today would be no different.
This would be the first time that she was proven wrong by Trash-Chan.