Chapter 2:

I Can't Believe She's Not (a) Butler! .... Or Maid!

The Totally Terrific Trash-Chan!!


Following Trash-Chan's outburst, the streets of Sounai City became a major hazard as her little furious trashcan sped across the road at speeds that seemed rather unreasonable for a trashcan. Trash-Chan could hear various honks, shouts, and random smashing and breaking sounds from inside the can, but she was too upset about what people online said to really notice. Hospitals and road workers were going to be getting a lot of money today.

Just as abruptly as the outburst started however, Trash-Chan calmed down. She hit the brakes and skidded to a halt, leaving a big wiggly trail of burnt rubber. She wouldn't clean this mess up, either.

Springing out of her can, Trash-Chan scanned the area. It didn't take her long to realize that she had no idea where she was now. She had kept her head inside the trashcan throughout her wild ride, so she did not really pay attention to the route she blazed. Fortunately, she didn't have to worry about finding her way home, because she's always at home in her Trash-can. However, she was away from free wifi and ramen, and that was terrible.

But! That wasn't important. She sped away for a reason! She needed to get her foot in the door in the world of stardom! She needed to get popular so she could become the Best Girl of the World! But, where to start?

As Trash-Chan pondered this, she heard a ringing bell which was followed by a disgustingly cute voice saying "Come again, Masters!". Convenience had lead Trash-Chan to a maid cafe with a sign that read "Maid For You ~<3 Cafe" , and two dorky looking boys were walking out of the establishment.

"Ahh, Yuriko-chan is the cutest!! I wanna come back every day to buy an omelette from her!" One of the dorks said.
"Yuriko is cute and all, but Hidemi-chan is real wife material!" The other dork retorted.

The dorks then proceeded to get into a heated argument about best maid girls. This gave Trash-Chan a perfect idea! She dove inside her trashcan and rummaged around for parts to make a maid outfit that would make all the boys want to ask her for things! Within ten minutes, she sprang out of her can in a full maid outfit that was made out of tin foil scraps for the white parts and electrical tape for the black parts. It looked pretty good if you couldn't see very well and squinted super hard!

After hooking her trashcan up to a bike rack and locking the lid, Trash-Chan puffed out her chest and strode into the cafe.

****** A Few Hours Earlier*******

Today was the day. Today was the first day that Sadayo Akemi would start her job at a maid cafe. She didn't get much sleep the night before, but despite that she was wide awake. Her eyes were wide open, and she was quick to get ready for work. Within thirty minutes, her long black hair was stuck in a cute braid, some lipstick liberally applied, and her face dolled up suitably.

As she rode the train to Northern Sounai, she reminded herself of why it was important she went through with this. She was a cute girl, that much she was aware of, but she was also very shy. The compliments of boys often caused her to want to run and hide, and she never came to really accept those words. She often avoided speaking to others and focused on her school work alone. She'd since graduated, but she was still left with an overwhelming fear of drawing attention to herself. However, there was one place that Sadayo was comfortable being complimented: in her online roleplaying forums. After awhile of that, she started a blog, where she would post partially obscured pictures of her face while documenting her life.

She was very popular online under her pseudonym, *~Sadako~*, which had recently begun to overshadow The Ring in search results online. She realized that she was a far different online than in person, and that person wasn't shy. So, naturally, if she wanted to overcome her issues, she would need to find a new Sayado. What job would really help her so well with pretending to be someone else? Maid cafes specialized in presenting a cutesier version of yourself, and they'd even pay you for it! It was the perfect idea.

"I will become better... I'll become more open to others!" She said to herself while clenching her fist to her chest, her eyes closed in thought.

Her inner monologue was then interrupted by the sneeze of an old man next to her.

"Ehhh!?!" Sadayo shouted. The creep didn't cover his mouth!! What if he was sick? What if she had some on her? Oh god oh god oh god oh god, GROSS!

She quickly retrieved her hand sanitizer and and applied it to every part of her body with exposed skin. She wondered if that was enough, and then wondered again if there was a shower she could use at the cafe's locker room? She hoped so.

Turns out they did. She quickly showered, and started hurriedly putting on her uniform. As she was doing this, a hand hit her shoulder, causing her to jump and shriek. The hand belonged to a beautiful girl with long red hair, and a very warm smile, who was fully dressed in maid attire.

"Hey, this is your first day right?" the red-haired maid asked.
"Ehh!? Uh.. Uh yeah! I'm running a little late though..." Sadayo said while looking down.
"I figured as much. I'd recognize those nerves anywhere. I was the same way as you when I first started here, haha!" She had wrangled Sadayo close and started giving her a friendly noogie. Sadayo "UWEEH'D" in protest. "Listen, everything is going to be okay!"
"Y-You think so?" Sadayo asked while fixing her hair.
"I know so! You're very pretty, plus you got that little bit of anxiety that'll make the guys go wild, hehe~"
"O-Oh Um!! Um... I uh... th-THAnk You!" Sadayo's cheeks were bright red, and her mouth was suddenly very dry and hard to operate. This made the red-head giggle.
"By the way, my name is Akari. It's nice to meet you! Let's work hard today, yeah?"
"Oh! Um, I'm Sadayo! And yes, let's!"

Akari left the locker room, leaving Sadayo.
"...Okay. I got this. You got this, Sadayo! You got this super hard! Let's Positive Thinking!!" She slapped her face gently, then finished getting ready. Everything was going to go fine!

*****Back to the present*****

Trash-Chan strolled inside the cafe with the bravado of a wrestler, and the stench of a wrestler's groin after a tournament. Akari was a greeter at the moment, and she could not help but hesitate for a moment at the sight of this.... this... thing. But after gulping, she gave a gracious bow.

"W-Welcome, Master! Would you like a seat?" Akari said, trying to hide her disgust and her compulsion to pinch her nostrils shut.
"THAT WILL NOT BE NECCESARY, FOR I WISH TO SERVE RATHER THAN BE SERVED!" Trash-Chan exclaimed.
"E-Eh? What?"
"ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF, I AM THE AMAZING TRASH-CHAN, AND I WISH TO WORK HERE! SURELY you could use someone as elegant as me in your establishment?"
"Uhhhhhh, well we are kind of fully staffed at the moment, sorry! We can't really afford to to tak-"
"Oh, that's no problem! I will work for free! I'll even start right now!"
"Uh No no!! That's not neccesary!" Akari said, hoping to every god she could think of that she could turn this crazy person away without being rude. She probably should have just been rude.

Trash-Chan strode up to the first table she saw with a person in it, and leaned in uncomfortably close. The poor young man was blindsided by her presence and her stench. His eyes started to water as this disgusting woman put her face very close to his.

"Oh, master~! Can I do anything to please you?" Trash-Chan said, trying to be seductive. Akari quickly ran over.
"Uh, miss can you please not bother the customers?"
"Oh, are you taking care of this one? That's okay! I'll move to another one! Sorry, sweetie~ I can serve you another day!" She stroked the poor man's cheek as she left, leaving his face greasy and uncomfortable.

She ran to another customer who had an empty cup of coffee in front of him.
"Allow me to fill you up, master~!" She proceeded to remove the tinfoil that was covering where her cleave would be if she had bigger breasts, and pulled out an old cup of coffee. She poured this cold, old, and disturbingly dark coffee into the cup. "There you go, master~!" The man whimpered in sadness.

"I should go help clean up a bit then, now that I've served someone!!" Trash-Chan was on the move again!
"Okay, I can't really be patient anymore, you need to leave ma'am!" Akari started to shout. All eyes in the restaurant had fallen upon Akari and Trash-Chan at this point. Trash-Chan sped to a table of two that had two plates of half eaten omelettes.
"All done? Okay, masters~! I love to serve!" Trash-chan took the two plates, then remarked "Oooh, these look good!" She quickly scarved down the remaining eggs from the ketchup covered plates and started speeding to the kitchen.

It was at this moment that Sadayo was coming out of that very same kitchen with two lattes. Today had been going quite well, so Sadayo was not really paying that much attention when she made her way across the room. If she had a guardian angel, he was probably on break right now.

"Wait, no! Miss! Slow down!" Akari pleaded.
"Naw, I got this!" Trash-Chan assured, quickening her pace. Some of the tinfoil on her outfit was falling off at this point.
"You're going to fall! You don't even know how to walk in those heels you're wearing!"
"Naw naw naw, I'm Trash-Chan!! I can do anything with grace and ease-" As she boasted, her ankle twisted, and her footing vanished. Trash-Chan was falling down.
"Oh god, Sadayo, watch out!!" Akari screamed!

With a "huh?" from Sadayo, the two collided, both dropping what was in their hands. The hot coffee from the lattes spilled all over the both of them, and one of the plates covered in ketchup landed right on the chest of Sadayo's uniform. Trash-Chan did not look much different, but Sadayo was an absolute mess.

At first, Sadayo only noticed the bit of pain she felt from the fall. But when she looked to see who she'd need to apologize to, alarm bells started to signal in her head. On top of her was possibly the most putrid looking person she'd ever seen. This woman had horrible and greasy black hair, some kind of gunk that was spotting her body, and a stench unlike anything she'd ever seen. To top it off, the woman was covered in random bits of coffee drenched tinfoil and black tape.

So, perhaps you caught this earlier, but Sadayo was... shall we say, not a fan of germs. They made her squirm, and every time she came near anything remotely dirty, she always had to clean herself with the hottest water and lots and lots of soap. She had to be clean, needed to be clean.

So, at this particular moment, there was only one reasonable response in her head. With the fury of an ancient warrior, Sadayo screamed "GET OFF OF MEEEEEEE!!!!!" and proceeded to throw Trash-Chan through the wall of the restaurant, and onto the street.

Needless to say, business was done for the day.


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