21st Century Man

Author's Disclaimer: I've put a lot of research into making sure I get everything right, but, well, I'm not going to get everything right. Because I'm a dirty, dirty foreigner and I've never even so much as stepped foot into Japan. If you spy something that is outright wrong and can't be reconciled with simple suspension of disbelief, let me know! I am but a simple man! I'm trying my best~! ;ω;

 Bureaucracy. Bleh. Jacob Young normally had no patience or use for such trivial things like "rules" or "order" or "employment requirements," but that's because things worked differently in the States than they do in Japan. It turns out that the Japanese government is quite fond of making sure paperwork is properly processed and, also, actually exists, and these things landed Jacob in a bit of hot water when it came to seeking employment in his new home country. Namely, the fact that he was a high school dropout and, thus, had no diploma to speak of. Sure, in the States, you could fudge your way through employment by faking it until you make it, but today, he found himself with his chin resting on his hands, seated in the lobby of the General Affairs Office in Ota City's City Office, waiting to finally be admitted. Geez, man, couldn't they have handled this stuff over the phone?

Appearance-wise, Jacob was the furthest thing from anyone else in the entire building--standing at 6'2" tall with a muscular build, shoulder-length brown hair and a full beard, and a black Overkill bandana on his head. He had also decided the best attire for this bit of City Hall bureaucracy was to wear his usual: White t-shirt, blue jeans, black workboots, and his black denim battle-vest, onto which the patches of his favorite heavy metal bands were pressed--Overkill, Motorhead, Slayer...all the speed metal and thrash metal classics from the 1980s. Hell, if he had worn fingerless gloves, he might've been indistinguishable from an extra in an 80s action movie. The "big, scary American" stereotype prevalent among many older Japanese people was seemingly confirmed everywhere Jacob went.

"Ah, Yangu-san, please come this way," came the voice of a middle-aged man that appeared from the door to his left, who was clearly just some extra guy they hired so that the glorified clerk Jacob came to see could feel more important. He was led into a rather distinguished-looking but cramped office where the name plate read...Winter-Moon? Yeah, he was gonna go with Winter-Moon.

"Damn Kanji..." Jacob growled to himself, "Why's there gotta be a million of these stupid things, and why's there gotta be a million ways to pronounce them?" At that moment, an older man in a navy blue suit, approaching his 60s with a polished bald chrome-dome surrounded by a hedge of salt-and-pepper hair, strode into the room.

"Good morning, Young-san," said the man with a bow, pronouncing his name correctly unlike his subordinate, "I'm Fuyutsuki--"

"Fuyutsuki! That's it!" Jacob shouted, clapping his hands together with his realization, "That's how you pronounce them together. I shoulda figured."

The man named Fuyutsuki seemed to think the best tactic was to pretend that what just happened did not, in fact, happen, and so he took a seat (prompting Jacob to do the same) before he restarted: "I'm Fuyutsuki, Head of the General Affairs Office, and I'm seeing here that you're having issues with providing your high-school credentials?"

"Oh, yeah, it's the darnedest thing," Jacob said with a greasy smile, "You know how papers get lost in the system sometimes."

"No, I do not," Fuyutsuki said in a flat, humorless tone. "And in fact, neither does your Lohn High School in your hometown of Lohn, Texas..." Suddenly, Jacob felt a prickle of sweat on the back of his neck. Did he seriously check it out? Really? Fuyutsuki continued, "When I contacted your high school--I am fluent in English, I should mention--they didn't seem to know anything about your papers being lost in the system. They didn't seem to know anything about you at all, really." Though this old man was less than half his size, Jacob distinctly felt like a kid in the principal's office, facing serious trouble. "How interesting it was to learn, then, that their only record of a 'Jacob Young' in the years 2004 through 2008 was of a Jacob Young who dropped out in November of 2004 and never returned to finish."

"W-Well," Jacob began lamely, sounding nowhere near as intimidating as he looked, "That's, uhh...you see..."

Fuyutsuki's features hardened, giving him the appearance of a grizzled detective, appropriate given the legwork he's apparently done. "And no Jacob Young matching your personal information has attended any other school in the United States, according to your Department of Education, according to the Consulate-General of Japan in Houston, Texas..." This is crazy! Why go so far? Shouldn't he just rubber-stamp his credentials and move on with his day? Damn bureaucrats and busybodies! Can't a man drop out of high school in peace?! "You wouldn't have lied when you made these statements, would you?" Fuyutsuki asked in a warning voice, "Because lying on government forms is a felony here just as it is in the United States, Young-san. Perhaps you simply misremembered?"

Jacob pounced on the out he was given. "Yes! Nothin' more than a lapse of memory! Whoo, how wacky the human brain can be, huh? So, uhh, what do I have to do to be good for employment, then?"

Fuyutsuki smiled a knowing smile, before turning his chair to his right and picking up a stack of documents, "I had hoped you simply made a mistake in your statements, as you have attested, so what you must do is complete your education and earn your high school diploma."

Jacob tensed up slightly. "You mean, like, night classes?"

Unfortunately, Fuyutsuki shook his head, a slight curl forming in the corners of his mouth as he said, "I regret to inform you that I might have mentioned your case to a few friends of mine in the law-enforcement offices, and so your path to completing your education will be a bit more, shall we say...supervised."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jacob asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Normally, we wouldn't make such arrangements," Fuyutsuki said simply, standing up and placing his hands behind him, "But you've been enrolled to attend Kameda High School as a first-year student, starting this April."

"You what?!" Jacob stood up also, slapping his hands on Fuyutsuki's desk in disbelief. "You can't be serious! I'm 33 years old, how the hell am I supposed to--"

"Your sponsor," Fuyutsuki interrupted, seemingly unperturbed by the outburst, "Katou Hidetoshi-san, is the principal of Kameda High, and both he and the school board are interested in your case." The older man turned to face Jacob, adjusted his tie, and smiled genially. "You should find the arrangement to your liking--Kameda High is within walking distance of your apartment complex, I believe."

"And if I refuse?" Jacob asked, eyes so narrow that he could be mistaken for doing a Clint Eastwood impression.

"Then I'm afraid your prior statements to our office will be taken at face value, and the evidence against you will be sufficient to level perjury charges. Here's an unrelated fact: Are you aware that the conviction rate in our country is over 99 percent?"

Jacob felt boxed in. He had hoped that the Japanese "look the other way" mentality might have proved a reprieve from the endless red tape he encountered in the United States, but it seems he couldn't avoid it here, either.

"Well, I mean," Jacob began with a forced smile, "I sure don't want you fellas to think I'm lyin' to ya, so uhhh..." He picked up the thick stack of documents Fuyutsuki had set before him. "Looks like I'll...be...headin' to Kameda High this April...?"

Fuyutsuki smiled. "I'm glad to hear it." He gave Jacob another bow before saying, "I wish you luck in your education, Young-san. May you have a good day."

And with that, Jacob took his fat stack of documents and exited the room, sighing loudly and aggressively as he entered the 5th-floor lobby he waited in not long ago, eyeing the stack of paperwork he was given. Seemed to be full of information about Kameda High and its rules and layout. Great. More bureaucracy. 'Your new school year will begin on April 10th, 2023,' it said near the top.

"April 10th, huh?" Jacob growled, "Just a little over a month away. Guess I'll have to call this Katou guy and get started, then."

***

Early on the morning of April 3rd, Jacob was preparing a list for the week's groceries--a mundane task, to be sure, appropriate for an overcast Monday--when there came a knock at his door. The meek little tap-tap-tap told him right away that it was his next-door neighbor, an elderly widow named Hasegawa, but he was on good enough terms with the old lady to refer to her as...

"Ah, Chisato-san, come on in, door's open!" Jacob called out from the kitchen of his apartment. As with most such apartments, the kitchen was a small cooking area next to a decently spacious dining room, with a living room off to the side. The front door was directly across from Jacob's line of sight, and sure enough, as the door opened, a short, thin little woman with her gray hair pulled up in a bun wearing a gray blouse, navy blue slacks, and a lighter blue shawl draped over her shoulders tottered into the entryway, keeping the door slightly ajar with her polished wooden walking stick.

"Good morning, Jay-kun," she said in her delicate voice, "I wanted to ask if you could help an old lady out today. You see, I've got a shelf full of old books that I want to donate, and it'd mean a lot if you could take them to the Hamazake Library for me."

"Yup, yup," Jacob said as he added chuck steak, dashi, and mirin to his shopping list, "Gotta head that way today anyway, so I can definitely help ya out. Just gimme a few minutes to finish up my list, here, and I can take care of that right away."

There was an unfamiliar throat-clearing sound outside the door, and Chisato-san added, "Oh, right, I forgot to mention, Jay-kun--there's a man here to see you from the Kameda High School. He looks rather important..."

"Hmm, must be Katou," Jacob muttered to himself before calling out, "Send him on in. I'll be over right after, Chisato-san." The old lady gave him a bow, before turning back out the door. Immediately after, another older person passed the threshold--this time, a hunched man in his late 60s who looked somewhat like a box turtle with a salt-and-pepper wig on his head, dressed in a fine gray suit. The man held a large, nearly-opaque plastic bag in his hand as his face bore an expression of refined distaste at Jacob's sense of interior decoration as he approached the kitchen area.

Which, to be fair, Jacob's decor was rather unorthodox for a standard Japanese apartment. Rather than leave his walls bare, he had placed framed images of some of his favorite musical albums--the otherworldly imagery surrounding a skull of Slayer's "South of Heaven," the screaming skull-train of Motorhead's "Orgasmatron," and the laser-eye bat-wing skull of Overkill's "Under the Influence"...there seemed to be a consistent theme among his posters--and it was plainly obvious that this well-to-do looking old man didn't much care for so many skulls to be visible in one single room. Throw in a large wall clock depicting Iron Maiden's zombie-like mascot, Eddie, holding his hand out menacingly over its face, for good measure, and you've got a room that would make any traditionalist seethe with indignant aggravation.

"We've, er...talked over the phone, Yangu-san..." the old man began, clearly doing his best to bite his tongue regarding the imagery surrounding him, "I am Katou Hidetoshi, principal of the prestigious Kameda High School--"

"Aha, so you're Katou-san!" Jacob interrupted, causing the already-prominent vein in the old man's forehead to throb dangerously. "I wasn't expecting you until this afternoon or something."

"Yes, well, among many things, I value timeliness and efficiency, Yangu-san--"

"It's 'Young,' not 'Yangu," Jacob corrected him while poring over his shopping list, apparently too busy thinking of the week's dinner plans to give his uptight visitor much attention. "But 'prestigious,' you said? I was under the impression that Kameda was kinda just an ordinary high school." The vein throbbed more angrily.

"Yes, well, I'm afraid you heard wrong," Katou said, clearly gritting his teeth as he spoke, "Our school has produced students of excellent quality during my 30-year career, and..." He glowered up at Jacob with a forced, manic smile. "I hope you'll live up to the expectations our board of educators has for you." He added in a low voice after scanning the room once more, "Though you may be nothing more than some thuggish, death-obsessed foreigner..."

Now it was Jacob's turn to develop a throbbing vein in his forehead. "I'll just pretend I didn't hear what you just said, Katou-san." He smiled his own dangerous smile. "So whatcha got there in the bag for me? Could it be my school uniforms? Or perhaps a month's supply of surplus self-righteousness? You seem like you've got plenty on-hand..."

Katou's vein throbbed. "What an amusing question, Yangu-san. American jokes are truly amusing in their simplicity, aren't they?" He looked like he was on the verge of coming unhinged. "These are your school uniforms, gym uniforms, and school shoes. I should mention that there is a 60,000 yen replacement cost for your uniform if it is ripped or damaged..."

Jacob's vein throbbed. "Oh, how interesting," he said through grit teeth of his own, "I feel like I should ask why the first thing you bring up is the replacement cost and not, say, washing instructions or when the uniforms change..."

Katou's vein throbbed in response. "Why, that's because the washing instructions are written down for you on the tag, and you'll receive notice in-class on when the uniforms change. I just figured the replacement fee would be a valuable piece of information for someone with such...meager means and little education..."

Jacob's vein threatened to burst. "Oh, please, Katou-san. I'm happy to say that my means aren't quite so meager for you to worry on my behalf, and my education is not so insignificant as to render me helpless..."

Katou's vein reddened in kind. "I'll have to beg your pardon, Yangu-san, but the information I've been presented with tells me something entirely different..."

And so Jacob slapped his hands on the countertop, being the first to give in and lose his temper. "So what? What're ya tryin' ta say, old man? That I'm stupid and reckless or somethin'?!"

With an expression of gross superiority at being the one to remain cool-headed, Katou grinned at Jacob's outburst as the vein in his forehead diminished with alarming speed. "I wouldn't have used such words as the ones you've chosen, but..."

"Yeah, well, you can kiss my ass, you stuck-up old fart!" He stormed over and snatched the bag of uniforms out from Katou's waiting hand. "I'll show you who the idiot is! Your little classes won't be a challenge for my cunning mind." He pointed a shaking finger at his own head before returning to the other side of the kitchen divider as Katou-san wore a smug grin at his unruly new student. "And I'll have you know that I've made it abundantly clear that my shoe size is 31.5, so there'll be hell to pay if these shoes don't fit!"

"But of course, Yangu-san. You don't need to worry." The vein in the old man's forehead had fully calmed down at this point, content with his temperamental victory over the abrasive foreigner. As he turned to leave the apartment, he called back, "I should add that I will hold you to those words, Yangu-san. The board and I are quite interested in seeing just how...cunning your mind truly is. Don't make me regret enrolling you into my school." He pretended to think for a moment, but he was actually just relishing in Jacob's frustration before adding, "Oh, and I nearly forgot: The entrance ceremony is tomorrow at 9 o'clock. You'll be given your textbooks and class assignment. I expect you to attend, for your own good. With that, I bid you farewell."

And with that, Katou-san took his leave, sending Jacob into a hair-ruffling, full-on shouting rage, followed by a 15-minute angry workout session in his weights room (which probably wasn't how Saito-san, the landlord, envisioned the apartment's second bedroom being used).

"That smug, arrogant old bastard," Jacob growled to himself as he performed some basic curls with both arms a little too rapidly, "Thinks I'm just some dumb ape who'll rip my uniform to shreds if I didn't know the replacement cost, does he? I'll show him. I'll make him eat those words..."

A few minutes later, he was dressed in his usual getup, practically sprinting down the road towards the Hamazake Library, two boxes of books held in place on his shoulders on this cool, crisp April morning. "Any...slack-jawed...idiot...can pass...high school..." he grunted in between each breath, "I just...had more...important...things...to worry...about...back then..." He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow on the lip of one of the boxes. Jacob may have been lukewarm about the idea of attending Kameda High before, but his face-to-face meeting with Katou that morning lit a fire in his belly. Now there was someone doubting his ability. Now he had something to prove. He wasn't about to give that insufferable old man the satisfaction of thinking he was just some stupid foreigner--he was gonna graduate, dammit, and he was prepared to slap that old turtle in the face with his diploma until he gave him a concussion.

***

"This sucks. This really sucks. I look like a used car salesman..."

Jacob was grumbling to himself the entire way to Kameda High, all dressed up in his school uniform, which comprised of a dark green jacket bearing the school's emblem in gold (a turtle making an almost perfect circle, but with his little legs sticking out, the school's Romanized name written along the edge), a white button-up shirt underneath, a black-and-white plaid necktie, a regular pair of black pants, and rather expensive-looking dark green leather shoes, which, fortunately, fit like a glove! In fact, whoever tailored this uniform did a bang-up job, because Jacob felt just as comfortable in this as he did his casual clothes...physically, anyway.

Mentally, Jacob couldn't help but notice that he was getting extremely concerned looks from the people all around him, many of whom seemed also to be Kameda High students, along with their families. The worst stares came from the daughters of these families, who seemed to have already decided that he was some kind of extremely-devoted pervert looking to mingle with teenaged girls. Peh! As if he'd be caught dead ogling scrawny schoolgirls, when he was living in a part of the world where the actual women were gorgeous until they hit 60--his cup runneth over in the ogling department, so why would he ever resort to scraping the bottom of the barrel by staring at what he'd barely consider to be more than living stick figures? Damn brats have way-too-high opinions of themselves.

Despite her parents and older brother insisting she refrain from doing so, a girl who couldn't have been older than 6 tottered over to Jacob and asked, "How old are you, mister?" The beard was clearly throwing her off, and he had no choice but to answer her.

"Twelve and a half," he responded with all the sincerity he could muster.

More confused now than she was when she approached, the girl wandered back to her parents, who hissed reprimands about approaching suspicious-looking foreigners--a statement Jacob had to pretend he didn't hear in order to not cause a scene before the school year even officially started. Then he had to laugh at himself, for participating in the stereotype of pretending not to hear things.

"Kikoenai-furi, huh?" Jacob muttered to himself, "Guess I really am starting to pick up on the local culture. Only took 5 years..." But zero-hour was now upon him, for the gates to Kameda High were now clearly visible, and crossing the threshold would mean facing the reality that he'd be spending the next several years dealing with teenagers and their crap...that is, if he weren't fervently stopped at the gate by a very nervous security guard who was nearly half a foot shorter than him and less than half his mass.

"S-Sir, I'm g-gonna have to a-ask you t-t-t--"

"Outta my way, pencil-neck," Jacob growled, placing his hand on the petrified security guy's arm, "I eat guys like you for breakfast and shit 'em out after lunch."

The security guard promptly scrambled out of the way and hid behind a bush on the opposite side of the gate, visibly trembling as Jacob, satisfied that his roadblock was now out of the way, made his way across the causeway to where the new students were being ushered. Though the area the school was located in was nothing special--a pretty average city block, all things considered--Kameda High School itself was pretty damn immaculate in appearance, its white walls unblemished and the numerous windows sparkling clean. The L-shaped design of the main building was odd, to be sure, but that's just the nature of being erected next to one of the city's main roads, Jacob supposed.

At least the faculty members inside the school's main wing didn't seem surprised by his appearance, but while waiting in the entrance hall to be admitted into the auditorium, he just couldn't get past all the suspicious glaring from the other students. And the whispering...God, he wished he could just flatten one of these damn kids and establish dominance and silence, but unfortunately that would be considered a crime around these parts, so he had to keep pretending he didn't hear nothin'. Just think about "Shred" and how kickass that song still is, three and a half decades later. But his heavy metal reverie was cut short.

"Jake?" came a deep, somewhat-familiar voice. Jacob turned around and came nearly face-to-face with a tall, thin boy with immaculate straight black hair, rectangular glasses, and a single silver spike earring vaguely resembling the "moon" Kanji. After a second, he recognized this boy as the son of his landlord, Saito-san.

"Well, well, if it isn't little Shinji-kun! Didn't expect to see you here! Kameda really must be a good school if a smart kid like you's going here," he said a little too loudly in the quiet hallway. "Though I gotta say, you ain't so little anymore. Didn't think you Japanese folks could get as tall as I am, but you're giving me a run for my money!"

Shinji smiled, amused by his neighbor's rough candor. "As usual, your compliments are strange and unconventional, but I will accept them, nonetheless. I have to ask, though: What brings you here to Kameda? It's quite unusual for a school like this to admit an adult."

"Bureaucracy," Jacob growled, "Never was one for formal education. I've been coasting by on my savings, but that can't and won't last forever. Ya need a high school degree to get a job 'round here anymore, so here I am." He shrugged. "It is what it is."

Shinji nodded thoughtfully. "If that's the case, then you've got nothing to worry about. Graduating from Kameda High will be an incredible asset for your resume, and you'll be swimming in job offers once all's said and done. Hope it all goes well for you."

"You, too, Shinji-kun," Jacob said with a grin, hoping that there'd be more sensible kids like Shinji among the crowd. Hell, if even a tenth of the students were as mature and sharp as Saito's kid, then this whole experience wouldn't be so bad after all.

Just then, the door leading into the auditorium opened and the tail-end of the principal's speech could be heard. "--towards the future. So please join me in welcoming this year's new students, as they take their first step towards enriching our country and our community!" And with that, the first-years were ushered into the auditorium proper as their names were read off by what appeared to be the Student Council President. Jacob could've done without the audible gasps from the older students and parents as he walked into position, but at this point, he just accepted his fate. They act like they've never seen an adult student before...okay, yeah, they probably haven't, but gasping in horror is a bit much, folks!

For the next twenty minutes, not much of note happened. There was a school song, apparently, that Jacob didn't know the words or melody to, though he probably wouldn't have sung along even if he were in the know. The first-years then took their seats at the front of the auditorium, so Jacob had a front-row seat to the very, very dull proceedings. Some more opening remarks from Principal Katou, some welcoming statements from second- and third-year representatives, and then finally the Student Council President, apparently named Horii Fujiko, came to give her own address.

Apparently the girls' uniform featured the same style of dark green jacket with the same golden turtle emblem, but they wore a bow-like ribbon rather than a necktie (Fujiko's was a white-and-green plaid), and her skirt was a black-and-green plaid. Lotta plaid going on. Student Council President Horii Fujiko, herself, was a good-looking girl with straight black hair and glasses, and Jacob was surprised by the fact that her speech directed at the new students was actually somewhat inspiring.

"Our duty, as the next generation of young people, is to make the impossible possible. So, now more than ever, it's our responsibility as their senpai to help these promising new students reach their full potential and hone their skills to make our little corner of the world better tomorrow than it is today," she proclaimed at the end of her speech. She didn't even flinch when she looked directly at Jacob, as so many others did, and so he was already sure that this Fujiko chick had a good head on her shoulders. Good sign, good sign! But it seemed like she had an announcement to make:

"And now, to deliver some remarks on behalf of the incoming class, please welcome to the stage a very special admission: From the United States, having recently obtained his citizenship here in Japan, Kameda High School's very first adult student, Jacob Young-san!" She then took a step back from the podium and clapped, leading the crowd to follow suit, but also leaving Jacob feeling like a two-ton boulder just fell into the pit of his stomach. That look she gave him--it wasn't a casual acknowledgement or a declaration of acceptance, it was a signal! Fujiko was wordlessly telling him to be ready for his speech! But when did he ever...agree...to...

Time seemed to stand still. Slowly, he turned his head to face Katou, standing off to the side on the stage, looking down at Jacob with an expression of expectant and malicious glee. 'That turtle-faced bastard!' Jake found himself thinking, 'He set me up! That little needle-dick sonuvabitch thinks he's real clever, pulling a stunt like this! Well, if he wants a speech, then let's give him a speech!' As time resumed its normal pace, Jacob stood up from his chair and sauntered up to the stage, where Fujiko gave him what seemed to be a warm smile, but up close, he could tell that it was desperation and anxiety, not warmth, that powered it. She looked nervous. The crowd looked nervous. And Katou would just love it if he made an ass of himself in front of an entire crowd, as a petty act of vengeance, wouldn't he. Aww, hell. Jacob cleared his throat.

"Howdy, folks, as we like to say in Texas," he started, deciding that light and approachable would be the proper tone to take, to ease everyone's worries. "Well, to be honest, not many of us Texans actually say 'howdy'...pretty much ever, but the world at large seems to think we do and I guess they know something we don't, so...howdy, howdy, howdy!" There were a few nervous titters here and there. "But seriously, folks, my name's Jacob Young--though my friends call me Jake--and I'm here because the schooling system back home didn't care about me and did nothing to encourage me to care about my own future, so I left it behind and never looked back. As it turns out, companies don't want to hire you if you can't prove you're smarter than a bag of hammers, though, soooo...whoops!" A few more ripples of polite laughter, likely more due to the easing of tension than Jacob's speech being actually chuckle-worthy.

"But I tell ya what, folks, having learned all I can about being a survivalist, I'm a hard-workin' man. And I like me a challenge. I've heard tales that your school system is full of both, so really, there's no place else I'd rather be! I know my peers--" He gestured to the other first-years, who seemed to be gawking at him like he had three heads. "--are probably shakin' in their polished leather shoes right now, gettin' the first-year jitters, but I'm sure our senpai will agree with me when I say that there's nothin' to be nervous about. After they're finished forcing us to clean out the bathrooms, of course." The older students laughed a little too heartily at this, causing Jacob to be concerned that his silly joke might've been more accurate than he'd prefer. "Though, if any of my senpai tried to get me to clean out the toilets, they'd be in for a rude awakening..." He cracked his knuckles menacingly before adding, "I've never done it before, you see, so I'm afraid my performance will be less than satisfactory, and we'd all like to know that that most important of spaces is clean as can be, wouldn't we?"

The older students laughed again. Jacob liked these guys! "All joking aside, though, I look forward to my time here at Kameda High. Since I'm an old man compared to all these young'uns, my time here will feel like a blink of an eye, but as the old saying goes in my country, 'I ain't here for a long time, but I'm here for a good time.' Oh, wait, that's not an old saying, that's a George Strait song." A couple of older people in the rear of the auditorium got a laugh out of that. "Yes! Thank you, guys in the back! Stick around after orientation, we've gotta go drinkin' sometime!"

Fujiko gave a small cough and moved her wrist, emphasizing her watch, indicating that he's going a little long. But Jacob knew better--she wanted him off the stage after the drinking comment, as if his prolific drinking career wasn't already older than she was, but he supposed it was about time he wrapped it up.

"But anyway, that's enough from me. I'll see you guys--" He gestured to the other students. "--in the halls, and I'll see you guys--" He gestured to the older folks in the back who enjoyed his George Strait reference. "--at Jogamu Sports Bar sometime! Don't be strangers, now!" He stepped back from the podium and waved at the audience in a friendly manner, and a wave of polite applause filled the auditorium. Jacob was pleased to hear that several people (mainly those guys in the back and some of the second- and third-years) were more enthusiastic in their response, and he was even more pleased to see the look of stunned silence on Principal Katou's face. He, apparently, did not expect the brash American to actually rise up to that little challenge.

"How'd ya like that, old man?" Jacob said with a sneer as he passed him by. He was already having fun with his high school career, and it hadn't even truly started yet.