Chapter 2:

Nishikata's Trial

My Government-Issued Girlfriend Can't Be This Cute!


Yup. I'm in here again.

The barren, white walls of my sister Chidori's room seemed foreign to me. Only furniture and some picture frames were left—she'd taken almost everything else with her.

I heard a shower running down the hall. Fantasies triggered themselves of accidentally walking in on Asagiri as she bathed, but alas, anime wasn't real life. My parents overseas preferred she sleep here instead of our guest room, but weren't thrilled about me harboring a fake girlfriend. Their hunger for grandkids was palpable.

I lied back in the white bed and slipped out my phone: no new messages, of course. There weren't many people to talk with anymore besides coworkers and a long-time friend—who'd just ghosted me. Chasing folks away wasn't anything new, since I'd been unapproachable most of my life. Turning a new leaf would be nice though.

"Hey Nishikata, I might've used all your hot water. Sorry, not sorry."

A dripping wet Asagiri stood in the doorway. She wore a sports bra alongside exercise knickers even tighter than her earlier shorts. And the sheer amount of water still in her hair had dyed it a dark brown.

"Uhhh, do you need more towels or something?" I sat up and let my eyes explore her curves.

"No, but can you make your thirst less obvious?"

"I mean, you're gonna be living in a guy's house starting today. Probably want to watch how you dress."

She twisted her hips around slightly, as if trying to give me new viewing angles. "Aren't you technically my boyfriend? Showing some skin should be fine."

Flustered, I blew a fake cough into my knuckles. "Ahem. Would you wanna see me half naked then?"

"I wouldn't mind."

What kind of new generation of girls is this? "Well, it's been a bit since I've lived with someone. I'll act modest even if you won't."

"Eh." She ignored me and began looking around the room. "This was your little sister's pad, right?"

"Yeah. Chidori's away for college right now. Probably won't be back until Christmas rolls around."

"That so?" She examined the bed's headboard, then her devious eyes lit up once more. "Bet she had sex here at least once."

"Pfffff, better question is how many times she did." I felt a sudden jolt on our mattress behind me. "H-Hey! What are you doing?"

Asagari climbed on and crouched over to further inspect the headboard. Her defined, wet ass was completely in my face. 

"Yeah I see some weird scratches," she said, "and the bed is creakier than it should be. Conclusion: your sister gets laid and you get onaholes."

"Hey! I never said I had onaholes!" She's way close! But damn, nice!

"Don't most guys have fleshlights? That's what they taught me in training to expect around desperate dude's houses."

"The heck? What kinds of stuff were they teaching you?"

She hopped off the bed and peered into the closet. "Mostly self-defense techniques. Don't mess with me, Nishikata."

That triggered a memory. "Oh right. When Chidori finished her own training, she kept wanting to try out wrestling moves on me."

"Huh?" Excited, child-like emotions sprung from Asagiri's face. "For real? Your sister did the GiG program too?"

"It's what's paying her tuition right now."

"Tell me how it went! I'm curious." She sat down beside me, close enough for our knees to bump against each other.

Hnnnggg. "W-Well, she didn't exactly tell me everything, but Chidori ended up dating her client even after his contract ended."

"No joke? That's awesome! Was he super hot or something?"

"Sort of? I don't remember his story though. Just that they're still dating even now."

"Can't believe this cringe program even works." Asagiri's mood flipped and she crossed her arms. "To be honest, at first I thought it was a way for lonely dudes to get company. Big Brother obviously wants us to fuck and have kids, but that's super rare. So when I hear about relationships actually working out, it just makes me happy, you know?"

I scooted closer to her. "I mean, if they want us to have kids . . ."

"Don't push your luck, fam." She sprang for the doorway.

"Sorry, bad joke, haha."

"No, only I'm allowed to tease! The Kill Switch is on me at all times!" Asagiri reached into her bra and pulled out a car-alarm-like device. "I double-click this and cops come swarming! They'd be here in minutes! Almost infinite range, God-like battery, indestructible, and 110% waterproof! It's superior Japanese engineering!"

“I’m sold! Where do I buy one!”

"They do delivery!" She gave the alarm one solid click.

"H-Hold up!" My wobbly arms flailed in confusion. "I was just messing around! Are they actually coming?"

"Hehe, don't worry. One click just pings my location again; two clicks means you're a dead man walking."

"What if you accidently click it twice? Where's the fail-safes?"

"Don't look at me, I just work here."

"Yeah, working in my house." I tried sounding assertive to start negotiations. "What are you even gonna do while I'm gone?"

"Gone?"

"I got work tomorrow. Someone's gotta put food on the table."

Asagiri tucked the Kill Switch back into her sports bra. "Well, you mentioned your parents pay all the bills from overseas. If food is all you gotta worry about, I think you have it pretty cushy.”

"Says the person who pays nothing at all."

"No biggie, I'll help around the house." She started spinning her arm around as if revving it up. "I'll go cook something right now actually."

"You can cook?"

"Yeah, I'm a wiz with the microwave."

A vein popped somewhere, then I let out a defeated sigh. "Why are you like this?"

"Hmmm, lemme think . . ." She cutely pressed her finger to her chin. "Think of it as me giving practice for a traditional, stay-at-home wife."

Stay-at-home wife? Fantasies manifested themselves of my blonde, busty coworker donning a kitchen apron while she prepped dinner for us. She'd say that classic phrase, "Do you want dinner, a bath, or me?", then we'd get to solving our country's birth rate crisis.

"Housewives usually do other things for her man than just cook," I said in a flirty tone. 

"Yup. I'll feed the cat too."

"Fine yeah, I give up. Might as well show you how things work around here." My legs hobbled off the bed. "Let's go downstairs."

"Roger!"

"Here, dry yourself off some more though." I reached into the closet and pulled out a spare towel. "Don't want you saying you're abused or something."

Like an eager gremlin, she grabbed it then sprinted outside. "See ya' in the kitchen!"

As sounds of footsteps down the staircase ceased, I pinched my forehead. This girl is already acting like she lives here—well she kinda does though. Maybe I'll cut her some slack.

My eyes were drawn to wet blemishes atop the bed. Asagari's ass print from her wet shorts had been caked into the white comforter. Leg marks down the bed's side also left perfect imprints.

Give not into temptation, give not into tempt—screw it, when was the last time I rubbed one out anyway? She could wait a bit. Furbolt would keep her company.

I scurried down the hall and closed the door to my room, already pulling my zipper down as I went.

*

"You sure took your sweet time." Asagiri was leaning onto the marble countertop by our sink. She'd finished drying off while I was engaged in adult activities upstairs.

"Had to finish setting up your room," I said. Bubbles were brushing against my hands while I rinsed myself off. "It takes time."

"Thanks for bringing my stuff up earlier, but what needed setting up? Room looked pretty good already."

"Well I'm a perfectionist. Gotta do everything right."

"Hmmm . . ." She stared at me with skeptical eyes, then started pacing around our kitchen. "Just so you know, I'm gonna pick that place apart for hidden cameras. Bigly Kill Switch time if I find anything."

"You really think I'm weird enough to put cameras in my sister's room?"

"I saw your own room. Not hard to guess what your kinks are."

"Alright try me," I said as I turned off the faucet.

Then, Asagiri tossed the towel wrapped around her neck at me. "Have your fun."

"Huh?" Her garb I'd just caught had an oddly pleasant, carnal scent.

"I rubbed that everywhere, especially under my armpits. Use it to jerk yourself off later."

Actually not a bad idea. Wait no, this was my sister's towel! "W-Why do you keep assuming I masturbate? We just met today."

"I guarantee it." Her hand started a rubbing motion in the air. "I'll jerk you off myself if I'm wrong."

"Oh? Is that a challenge?"

"Yep." She walked right by me, enough for me to smell lingering, sweet shampoo from her hair. "If I don't find any tissues or fleshlights when I go search your room, you win."

Fuck. I still hadn't emptied my trash, let alone bothered to hide questionable items since I'd lived alone. "Erm, could we try that tomorrow then?"

"Now or never."

Damn! What should I say? My room is dirty? She already checked it was clean though! I’m sick? But I said I’m working tomorrow! Did this girl 4D chess me? She planned everything ahead just for this checkmate moment!

"I-I think I'm gonna have to pass," I muttered. "There might be some documents from work you shouldn't see, yeah . . ."

The smuggest smug I've ever seen stretched across Asagiri's face. She crept closer to me with her arms tucked behind her. "Liar. You probably beat your meat before you came down here too, didn't you?"

"Fine! Yeah, I did! So what? It's good stress relief!" It was the first time I'd ever confessed to adultery. With flushed cheeks, I started sorting dishes into our cupboards.

“Stress relief? Is that what guys call it these days?"

"Everyone calls it what they want."

She leaned forward on the countertop at an angle that pushed her chest out. Her earlier smug lips had climaxed into a full grin. "Hey, hey, Nishikata. You wouldn't by any chance be a virgin?"

"Are you a virgin?" I countered.

"Nope!"

"H-Huh?"

"Kidding! Just pulling your leg." Asagiri earnestly smiled and nabbed a plate from my hands. By some miracle, she started helping me put dishes away. "I had a boyfriend in high school but broke things off fast. Was bored after so thought I'd try this GiG thing out, and if I was lucky, maybe I'd find someone I resonate with."

"Sorry you ended up with me."

For a few seconds, neither of us said anything. Then the top of my hand grazed against hers as we reached for the same bowl. We both fidgeted like flustered teenagers.

"W-Why sorry though?" she said as she walked towards the cupboard. "If I got assigned a normie, I don't think I'd be able to be myself, so I'm glad we ended up together."

Can't she be this wholesome all the time? "If you wanna try dating for real, we—"

"Kill. Switch."

"Alright, you've made your stance clear."

I spent the rest of our afternoon showing her around my house. We chit chatted as we went, and I mentioned she could have anything from our fridge, watch TV, or even play games in my room while I was away. Asagiri volunteered to help with anything non-sexual, so I put her in charge of half our chores.

"But my payment is lollipops," she said as I showed her how to feed Furbolt.

"Lollipops?" I replied.

"Yeah, red ones. I brought a few packs but they won't last. Buy me more."

I finished pouring cat food into a bowl and set it on the ground. "Sure? But why do you like lollipops so much?"

Her familiar smirk reappeared. "Gotta be ready to suck dick at a moment's notice."

"I'm getting desensitized to your jokes."

"Yeah, like you probably are now after jerking off all your life."

Why am I getting bullied by my girlfriend? "J-Just learn how the cat eats!"

Furbolt strolled along and started munching on his grub. Asagiri behind him got into position and snapped a photo of him with her phone. "Oh right, gimme your number before I forget. I'll send you pictures every time Furbolt chows down."

"I don't care about him that much."

"Yeah sorry. It was just an excuse to get your number without getting you excited."

"I did get excited though."

"Too bad. Best things I'd ever send are feet pics."

"Works for me."

She made a cringe face but then burst into laughter. The lollipop in her mouth almost slid out as she reached up to grab it. "You really are a lost cause, Nishikata."

"That makes two of us at least." I waltzed over to the fridge and pulled out some leftovers for us to eat.

But my girlfriend by the kitchen table stayed quiet.

I turned myself around to investigate. Asagiri was standing by a chair and noticeably blushing. Her hand did that cute thing where she put the side of her fingers to her lips.

"D-Don't be dumb!" she replied late to me, blushing like crazy now. "I wasn't like this at first! It's what I grew into because reasons, okay?"

What in tarnation? "Everything good? I'll give you all my socials right after we eat."

Before I could say more, she suddenly sprinted upstairs but came back running a minute later. Asagiri brought down the beige cat ears she'd borrowed earlier from my room.

"Here, I shouldn't have just taken them. Sorry." She couldn't even look me in the eyes as she offered me the headband.

If only you knew the history behind those. "Oh, don't worry. You can keep them actually. The person they belonged to said they were mine now."

"Urgrh. If you insist . . ." Asagiri blushed even more as she slipped them onto her head. My cute, half-naked, cat-eared girlfriend looked like a snack. 

"Let me take a picture."

"No! You'll probably fap to it later."

"I won't confirm or deny that."

She sighed. "Alright, go ahead. I'll be nice since it's our first day together."

The start of the most dysfunctional but functionally mutual relationship on Earth. I eagerly pulled out my phone. Asagiri sat in a kitchen chair and used the table to hide as much of her body as possible, blushing way too much. Little whimpers would occasionally leak from her lips.

"Would you mind doing that 'nyaa' gesture cat girls do?"

"Like this? N-Nyaa?" Her hands compacted into little paws. "N'yaaaaa . . . ?"

"Perfect! Perfect!" I took dozens of pictures at once while she sank further and further into the table with each shot. But I'd already frozen in time this graceful moment.

"You're gonna owe me a favor for this! Not cool! Not cool at all!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I set her as my wallpaper. Though we weren't in a true relationship, just looking at her would brighten any boring day. K'yaaa! My government-issued girlfriend can't be this cute!

I slid the phone back into my pocket and wandered towards our microwave. A newfound passion had me stashing away the leftovers again, then I pulled out our rice cooker to make a superior meal. It's not much but hey.

"Don't sprinkle anything sus in my food," she said, eyeing me like a hawk from the table.

"Hey, we're living together now. Trust your boyfriend a little."

"Hehe." A sly smile spread across her face. "Alright, darling. Your girlfriend is eager to eat whatever you pump out."

I wanted to say a lewd joke back, but the moment felt too perfect. Like somehow, with just Asagiri's artificial presence in my life, maybe I could finally look forward to something in the morning.

I'd been alone in this house for who knew how long now. Friends would visit sometimes, but it wasn't a substitute for the thing I yearned for. A girlfriend? No. More like something to fill the void: validation. Proof that I was working towards something more than just living.

My cat hated me, my whole family was gone, coworkers rarely contacted me outside work, and my last real friend was living out her life somewhere. Isolation had won over.

So I'd applied for a government-issued girlfriend, even if I didn't get much in return. But if I could somehow make it work, and I didn't go crazy, or broke, and kept my horniness in check, that was proof I wasn't just a waste of oxygen.

Those sleeping pills Asagiri almost found in my room earlier—maybe I wouldn't need to kill myself with them after all.

The ever sassy, but adorable Asagiri at the table typed away on her phone as her gentle eyes drifted upwards and met mine. I didn't know what our future held, though at least now I had a reason to keep on living.