"Tales Of A Loser Cashier" by ALTccounti (7.5k Reads Special) (BS style)

This is the Bullshit addaptation of "Tales of A Virtual Shopkeeper" by Kuromaru.

Be sure to check out tha novel and enjoy!

Bullshit summary:

Yuu Watanabe is a 17 year old high school dropout, he recently even had to sell his Switch because he is getting that broke and his family is about to kick his hikikomori ass outta the house, so for a while now he has been working at 7/11, but instead of being a nice cashier. He always tends to fight his customers for the dumbest shit.

It's a miracle that he hasn't been fired yet….

Anyways!

Follow Yuu through his modern slavery as he never gets to hear any of the customers tales!

Chapter 1 Life Reject.

DING MOTHERFUCKING DING!

Ugh!

Another bastard walking into the store, I can’t believe my bitch of a manager is letting me work overtime again even though it's god damn illegal!

You are probably wondering: how did a high school student end up working at a local Japanese 7/11? Well not that really its normal that we have a part time job, but did I mention that I was a dropout? Probably not…

It’s not like these fucking assholes that call themselves consumers tell me anything interesting anyways.

*ehem*

During my high school life I started to get into VRMMORPG but eh the games were starting to really empty my bank account, well not only mine but that for later okay!

Anyway because of that I went back to traditional gaming and got into Gacha games. There was a game called Genshin Impact and the waifus were just way too hot, and always almost busted when I saw their art on the summon banner.

I started playing it everywhere I went and sadly got bullied at school for being a degenerate weeb, it didn’t help that I was also secretly using my parents' credit cards to buy more wishes. I almost helped my own family go bankrupt. Believe if my parents could have disowned me, they would have by now.

Usually after I came home from school and got tired from playing gacha I would find the most fucked up Hentai I could find on the internet and masturbate, busting 5 fire extingiers a day. My life was truly going in a downward spiral. The final nail on my head was that my grades were beyond saving, I became the concept… no creation of a social outcast rejected by society and its norms.

They have a saying for that btw: “We live in a society.”

Whatever fuck that means? No idea and ask me I don’t know either, I guess memers are just as big of an outcast that I am. At the end of the day my parents got me out of school to prevent futher damage to their image. The first days as a shut-in degenerate were cool, but the ultimate reality check called “job” came knocking on my door.

And now….

I am working at a 7-Eleven with my parents waiting to probably kick me out next year.

This was my life story, fuck I should totally write this down and make money off of it.

Anyways, enough inner monologues, this hellhole is already filling with customers.

I looked around the store.

Yep this is a 7-Eleven store alright.

It had a white interior filled with garbage like Bento’s, Murican fastfood, sodas, Noodles, Ice Cream the entire: “Fuck I wanna get diabetes and die early” Type of food. It has 3 rows, yeah this store was quite on the smaller side when I saw somebody walk in from the automatic opening entrance.

It was a white fat ugly bastard that always showed up naked up in here.

“HEY OLD MAN!!”

“What do you want? I came here to buy something.”

“DUDE IT'S THE 6TH TIME, STOP SHOWING YOUR MICROPENIS AROUND THE STORE! THIS IS A 7-ELEVEN NOT AN EXIHIBICIONIST PARTY!!!”

“You always complain, get some balls man, you are staring at them any time you are watching porn.”

“Me getting balls? HAVE YOU LOOKED AT YOURS I CAN’T EVEN SEE THEM!!”

“Oh you little shit, now I am going to beat you up!”

Yeah he was pissed alright. He was slowly walking towards me while I was holding the emergency button under my counter, because cashiers like me are known to be pussies. This man had so many pubes that now that I think of it, I can't even see anything of his schlong. Doesn’t mean that he can use that as an excuse though.

I went with the usual camera strat, I use for ugly bastards like him, just look.

“Dude you are making a grave mistake, we have cameras around here. I can call the cops on you at any moment too, so you better think twice before you do something!”

Well the truth why I am not fired yet is because in reality the cameras weren’t working, meaning that the feds couldn’t really find evidence that I was illegally overworking myself.

Meanwhile the man was thinking.

“Okay I won’t do anything….. Except THIS!”

Holy shit he just pulled out his weiner and pissed on the counter.

“THAT’S YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SOCIETY AM CALLING THE COPS!”

“Too late kid, I am already gone!”

Suddenly a yellow electric current showed up around his body disappearing in what seemed in 0.1 milliseconds.

“What the fuck a naked ugly bastard that is also the Flash?! You know what? I am not going to question this shit.”

After a while the piss dried up and started stinking like hell, when the manager showed up from the staff room at the end of the store. It was a woman in her 50’s wearing tight black pants and company shirts to bring out her saggy ass and boobas. Her long black hair that smelled like strong vainilla to the point it brought out a kinky gag reflex every time you walked past her. I read from her golden nametag situated above the abomination called her left boob. Legends say that if you suck that nipple, you might die from poisoning.

Meinu Kurinji

What a fucking hoe that I want dead.

“Hey why the fuck does it smell like piss?! It's the 6th damn time, go to clean it up!”

“Manager, why don’t you just hire a cleaner!”

“Do you think I will waste the money when I have you?”

“You are underpaying way to damn much for this shit, why didn’t ban that fucker out our store already!”

“I need every customer I can get, boy, I am just earning enough to keep this francised garbage up float!”

“I am not going to clean that golden shower for the 6th time okay!”

“Oh is that so?” Meinu said menacingly. “Then your skinny filthy sweaty booty is gonna get fired!”

Pfft that threat is getting old, look at this.

“You damn well know that nobody wants to work here, I am the only one who accepted you and this shitstorm you call a supermarket, so fire me you will be working here by yourself.”

The manager was now thinking until somehow a lightbulb appeared above her head, must be some VR thing.

“I give you a 10% raise for this month, if you clean up the piss.”

I didn’t hesitate a second.

“Deal.”

After 30 min of almost puking, I felt as if I was constantly edging with my peepee but instead this time it was my throat, it was finally break time! So I do what I usually do and head to the bathroom, this time I had downloaded some MLP porn to get myself off, after my hour long masurbation session I was ready for the 2nd half of the day.

“Ah all my pent up stress released for today!”

I walked out the bathroom, looking around if that bitch manager wasn't around, following by going back behind my counter and just waiting it out. It was boring for a while until some red haired high school girl just naruto ran through the entrance, speeding through the entire store.

After she made my head spin as she was running in circles for 10 straight fucking miniutes. She showed up before the counter asking me a question.

“Hey bro, where is the Mountain Dew?”

“Hmm we haven't sold that here since like 2 years ago.”

“Why the fuck is it not here!”

Okay this rude asshole was angry now.

The truth is that the import cost of Mountain Dew is just too expensive.

“Are you guys that trash? Y'all can't even put a common drink in the store.”

“Then go to a different one, literally nobody told you to stay here.”

“Excuse me, how you talk to a girl like that, haven’t your parents teached you any manners?”

For some reason this shit got me mad pissed, like I hate when people come with this society grabage I swear if you don;t like how people are, just kill yourself. I am sure you are doing an amazing favor to said society too.

“How about you stop being a fucking Karen and get the hell out of the store, or even better why don’t just buy some Dr. Pepper?”

“You… You…. You…. FUCKING VIRGIN COCKSUCKING LOSER AND WASTE OF OXYGEN!!!! HAVE YOU EVER TASTED IT. ITS LIKE SOMEBODY JUST TOOK COCA COLA AND MIXED THEIR DIARRHEA WITH IT!!! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST SUCK BLASPHEMY!!!”

At this point I had enough bullshit for today, so I decided to end this in a totally professional way.

Basically going bonkers.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH I DON’T WANNA HEAR YOUR COMPLAINS TO A DIFFERENT STORE YOU FUCKING NO LIFE!!”

“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.” She pointed the famous finger at me.

“DON’T POINT AT ME OR ELSE IMMA BITE OF THAT FINGER! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE STORE!!!!”

“NO!”

I guess screaming didn’t help so I picked up the closest broom and start smacking it around like a mad man.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU WANNA HURT ME?!!”

“GET THE FUCK OUT THE STORE NOW!!”

“I WILL CALL THE COPS ON YOU!”

“OH I AM SCARED!!! Should I call the manager then?”

The girl's expression went from angry Karen to having the most terrified face ever seen on planet earth and seemed to have calmed down as well.

“Haha, uhh I was just joking.” She said scratching the back of her head. “I'll show myself out now.”

The girl ran off and I just fell on the ground exhausted when the manager came out and stood in my field of vision when I was staring at the ceiling.

“You suck as an employee and scream like a toddler that just had their League of Legends account hacked, but you sure know how to deal with the hard customers.”

I just looked at her as I did not ask for half assed compliments until she said:

“Take a free ice cream from the freezer.”

Fuck yes!

And everyday it's the same, always dealing with the shittest customers, the most maidenless of the maidenless and some people you just wished were never born.

Working till one day I’ll be kicked out of the house living as a coke addict, truly how it should be for a life reject like me.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally done lol.

I quite like the outcome, it's still different from the original and a fun read that gives you a headache with the amount of caps in it.

YEAH FUCKING SUFFER!!!

Shill: Sub to ALTaccounti

Author link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/5451

Until next time!

P.S: (every time I look at Han Hito roast my procrastination kicks in, but I will have to finish it one day T-T)