Of Cats and Monsters

“Fear not, citizen! Megatroid will get you through this difficult time!”

“Quiet, maggot!” G.I. Jane replied, posing with one fist up. “Love is war, and I was born on the battlefield!”

The air was thick with smoke, marred into vaseline by the lapping flames of nearby wreckage. Four city blocks topped the casualty list of the duo’s indecisive duel, the ruins splayed out in all directions around them. Weeping for the fate of the multiverse, the sky let out a cry in thunder.

“Megatroid trusts you not.” The amalgamated mech put its articulated hands on its bulging, square hips. “Your marketers did not know how to sell to a male demographic, so they gave you a gun!”

“Why, you!”

The two heroes surged forth, clashing with a harrowing clatter. Kiro’s hands twisted and turned as he imagined their noble fight to the death over ideals. At the climax of the last, desperate clash, the two combatants went still.

Kiro stared at the figures in his hands. Why was Megatroid a robot and G.I. Jane a person? How could he even tell the difference at all? Their plastic skins had an alien sheen under the ceiling light.

Light.

Ai’s theory on their Monster-Vision came to mind.

“Maybe I should ask her?”

The silence in the room felt like it was interrogating him. Kiro sighed.

“What am I doing?” He laid the figurines back onto their shelf. “I have a date in thirty minutes."

That was just enough time to get out the door and get there, assuming that he had already showered. And he would have showered already, if not for the newest rerun of Clownboy Beatbox. All he had to do to secure his date with a cute girl was show up on time.

The universe truly was unfair.

Kiro shoved the Monsterpedia, three pencils, and his wallet into a carry-bag before speedrunning the most intolerably cold shower this side of a world record. Dodging one of Richard’s low-sweeping bear hugs with a hi-jump, Kiro was dressed and out the door with good timing and no more than a single bruise on his elbow.

Initially off to a great start amid the scant traffic of the suburbs, the bus was mired deeper and deeper as the surrounding buildings grew in height. By the time that the trip progressed to the skyscraper-studded core of the city’s sprawl, Kiro found it wiser to go on foot. Huffing and puffing down long blocks, he wished dearly for a skateboard like those goons had at The Jungle.

Two blocks beyond breathless, Kiro arrived at the familiar carnival of colors in the plaza. The boy took a short, heaving lean break against a recycling bin and checked his phone. One new message:

“I’m here.”

Cutting himself off mid-breath, Kiro took off in the direction of the map marker. Two diagonal streets away from the plaza, Kiro found himself in a street much like the one on which he encountered the Undersea Cafe. Except this time, things were as crowded as a clear-skied shopping street should be on a Saturday.

Kiro’s first instinct was to scan the crowds for those unmistakable, cat-eared headphones.

What am I thinking?

Shaking his head clear, his eyes darted between families, couples, and vendors until they stumbled across a break in the crowd. There, behind a defunct peanut cart, was an outcropping carved out by the shade of a four-story building across the street. Kiro dashed forth.

There she was.

Dressed no less conservatively than usual, Ai at least looked a little more colorful in a white-blue striped cardigan atop her standard charcoal pencil skirt. Around her neck was an elegant, dim-orange scarf that swallowed up the taped-up, cat-eared headphones resting on it. On her head was a burgundy cap that Kiro couldn’t make out for a newsboy’s or a beret. For whatever reason, the words seaside mime came to mind when he looked at her.

But like, a cute one.

Kiro blushed. Compared to her, his plain longsleeve shirt and blue jeans showed little more thought about his outfit than he’d put in on an average day. That was to say, he grabbed the first thing from his drawers that smelled clean and called it a day. And it’s not like he was going to let his dad lecture him about what to wear…

“You look nice,” were the first words out of her mouth.

Kiro blushed. “You too. Very en mode.”

She sigh-laughed. “I appreciate it. But I don’t really feel like I mise-en this scène, if you catch my drift.”

Kiro glanced over his shoulder at the passing crowds, then back to her.

He gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll like this place.”

She nodded, but remained stock-still. He glanced at her as if to indicate that they should go. Noticing that her hands were buried in the sides of her skirt, Kiro bit his lip. Then, he offered her a hand.

Her eyes widened. But amid the shade of the four story building, she raised a hand. Gently, her soft, pale palm slid into his.

She could hardly look him in the eyes, which was perfectly fine by him. If he couldn’t stare at the convenient excuse of their destination straight ahead, Kiro might have honestly passed out.

They walked out into the sunlight. It was jarring at first, their desynced steps tugging their arms this way and that way. But even though she stared at the floor and he stared straight ahead, it only took them a few seconds longer to find their rhythm. Neither of them, though, paid much attention to the sleek, white-panel and glass entrance of the Chat Soiree. After acclimating to the sensation of holding hands, Ai noticed the bright pink awning ahead. Pulling Kiro under it to take shelter from the sun, she asked:

“What kind of place is this, exactly?”

Kiro’s lips parted in thought. Then, he gave her a goofy grin.

“Let’s just say it’s a good place to have a private chat.”

Ai’s eyebrows went up in an unbecoming gesture of amusement. “I’ll trust you on this one.”

The pair turned to the plain entrance before them, deeply perplexed by the riddle of the unmarked double doors before them. On one hand, they needed to open them to step inside. And on the other, neither of them wanted to let go. The answer to this conundrum came in the same breath as the warbled meow of the cafe’s automated doorbell.

They found themselves face to face with a person in an oversized chibi cat mask. No, it wasn’t accurate to call them a person. It was, of course, a monster. But the teenagers could’ve easily mistaken them for a store mannequin with how bizarrely plain they seemed. Every inch of their body was covered in a black and white butler’s outfit, gloves, or that ridiculous mask.

“Mice to meet you,” said the figure, their tone a practiced kind of unironic.

Ai seemed surprised with herself as a sigh-laugh escaped her lips.

“Meow, if only you’d follow me inside, Mouse-sieur and Meow-damoiselle.”

Thrown entirely off by the earnestly-delivered puns, neither of them could spare the mental energy to debate the act of going in. Before they knew it, the pair found themselves in a den of bubbly pink and delicate white. Low, rumbling purrs and playful meows filled the air amid echoes of laughter. There was the faintest musk of feline mess, but even this was daintily covered up by strong notes of honey, strawberry, and cream. The halls around them were drenched in polka dots from top to bottom.

“Welcome, purrr-estigious guests, to the Cafe Chat Soiree!”

Kiro and Ai were corralled by the masked figure down a nearby hall. The walls parted to reveal a seamless door. At the behest of their host, the pair entered the oval-shaped chamber within.

Two fat cushion chairs in neat white sat opposite from each other with a wood counter between them. The edge of this counter bled into a ledge running across the far side of the room, terminating in round tunnel entrances at its corners. Peeking inside, Kiro saw the tunnel turn sharply upward in a corkscrew, no bigger at any point than what it would take for a cat to pass through. All four walls of the room were painted up like a quaint, foreign city-scape with white marble facades and spacious, picturesque avenues. It was made to look like the two of them were sitting on a rooftop, basking in the sun in broad daylight.

The masked cafe host guided Ai and Kiro to their seats and withdrew two objects from a shelf disguised as a chimney. One was a small golden bell, and the other appeared to be a plastic egg of sorts. The host placed the two objects neatly in the center of the counter and gave the latter a small twist. A delicate, minty scent filled the room as two digital menus materialized onto the counter via some kind of ceiling projection.

With the convenient excuse of a menu before them, Kiro and Ai broke eye contact and submerged themselves in the options.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” Kiro said, dipping his head in apology. “I’ll take the creme-brul-omelet with a side of waffle fries.”

“An egg-sellent selection, Mouse-sieur.”

Without looking up from the menu, Ai said, “I’ll have a croissant and a bubble tea aux cafe, please.”

“A pre-tea good selection, Meow-damoiselle. Your refresh-meow-nts will be here shortly. Please enjoy the company of our dear friends while you wait.”

The masked host vanished through the seamless door. Simultaneously, the pair heard a gentle clanging from the tunnels in the corner of the room.

Her eyes sparkled. “Kitties…”

Two fluffy cats soon padded out across the counter’s ledge, one snow white and the other ginger. They approached as if they owned the place, strutting to a stop before Ai and Kiro with practiced poise in their flowing tails. With a click, two small containers popped out beneath the table.

Kiro and Ai each raised a handful of crispy, brown feed to their respective cats. The felines sniffed, once with restraint, then twice in acceptance. With the formalities out of the way, the cats busied themselves with their meals, leaving Kiro and Ai to stare at each other with “what now” eyes.

“I think they want to be pet,” Ai said.

Kiro nodded. “Y-yeah.”

The two humans raised their hands at the same time. They hesitated above the arched backs of the two animals. Then, they gently laid their palms onto the creatures’ soft furs. As the cats continued eating, the humans got bolder. From back pats to back scratches. Belly rubs. Ear scratches. Past a certain point, the cats had paused their meal to relish in the affection. The two humans were smiling ear to ear.

Kiro laughed. “It’s been forever since I’ve pet a cat!”

Ai replied with her eyes smiling shut. “Fun, isn’t it?”

“Mhm. I was just a little scared at first, I guess.”

Ai sigh-laughed. “Don’t worry, they’re just as worried about you before you get to know them. And then…”

The fluffy white cat wiggled beneath her tickles, pawing at the air with happy meows.

“They’re basically your best friend,” she added, finally letting out a full giggle.

“I see,” Kiro said, distracted by the mental energy it took to maintain a specific rhythm of belly-rubbing.

“Funny thing about cats,” Ai said, “They’re not too different from us. Sometimes, I even feel like they’re a little smarter.”

Kiro chuckled. “I get that. It’s kinda like they’re always judging you a bit, even.”

Ai shook her head. “I don’t think they judge us. It’s more like, if you had all the freedom in the world…”

She motioned to the two-dimensional cityscape around them.

“If you could go anywhere you wanted to at any time. If you weren’t bound to the rules and the schedules that everyone else was. You’d be up wandering on the rooftops without a care.” Her eyes met his. “And from up here, it’s not so much that you’re looking down. It’s just that you’re far enough away from it all that you have to crane your neck to look at all.”

Kiro’s face was halfway to tomato-red as he choked out a reply. “That’s a really pretty way to put it.”

Ai glanced back at her cat. “Glad you see it that way. Sure, things can get lonely, but they’re nice this way too sometimes.”

“Romantic, even.”

She paused and looked back up at him. He realized that maybe he should’ve thought before he spoke. Ai smiled.

“Yeah.”

The two of them stared out at the city. Even though it was little more than paint on drywall, they could have sworn they felt a gentle breeze and smelled the fragrance of balcony gardens in the air. It was almost too hard to remember that there was a world outside. Almost.

Faced with a tantalizing scene, Kiro had the overpowering urge to doodle. Reaching into his carry-bag, he pulled it out by its sparkling, multicolored cover.

Ai stared, mouth agape. He could almost hear her as she mouthed, “The Monsterpedia.”

“Oh yeah, funny story,” Kiro twirled a pencil between his fingers. “Remember Mad Dog?”

Ai’s face grew one subtle shade paler. “Hard not to.”

“No, no. I think you’re misunderstanding.” Kiro waved his hands. “She’s the one that gave it back to me. Crazy, right?”

“What.”

Its supply of pets having abruptly stopped, the girl’s cat looked at her with concern.

“Yeah, I was surprised too. But I guess under all that bark, there’s a heart...” Kiro’s face lit up in realization. “Speaking of, there’s something I wanted to ask you. Remember how you said our Monster-Vision might be because of the way light works or whatever?”

“Umm…” Ai cocked her head. “I think so?”

“So, I was thinking. Why do we see objects of people just the way they are?” He nodded towards the Monsterpedia. “I mean, wouldn’t it make sense that we also see them as-?”

“Kiro.” Her face lost any hint of a smile. “Maybe this isn’t the most romantic thing to talk about right now?”

“Oh. Uh… yeah.” He tried changing the air with an awkward laugh. “You’re probably right.”

Ai sighed and offered him an empathetic glance. “Sorry. I’m just wondering why you’re so interested in talking about this all of a sudden.”

“It’s just… ever since I met you, I keep thinking about it from time to time. I don’t know why, I just feel that it’s something important for me to figure out.”

Ai shrugged. “Is it, really?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just think this is the way the world works. It’s like asking why the sky is blue. Or why cats like their backs rubbed.” Ai went back to petting her cat, eliciting from it a satisfied purr. “Stuff like that.”

Kiro went silent. The urge to speak bubbled up from within, but he shoved it down with the rest of his thoughts.

“I’m just glad to have the Monsterpedia back is all,” he said.

He slipped the sketchpad back into his carry bag. A bell tinkled from behind the entrance wall. The seamless door parted, and the masked host returned bearing their tray of food.

“Here, Mouse-sieur, your purr-fectly cooked eggs. And you, Meow-damoiselle, a refreshment that’s sure to quench your fur-st.”

Kiro stared at the crispy layer of caramelized sugar atop his omelet. It had been singed into a sweet silhouette of a cat meowing. He glanced at Ai’s order, which had a similar emblazoning laid atop the froth bulging over the rim of the drink. The host vanished with another tinkle of a bell.

“So cute,” Ai said, looking at her drink as if she was ashamed to disturb it.

Kiro smiled. “Yeah. Almost makes ya feel bad to eat it, right?”

Ai nodded and kept staring. Kiro felt something stir inside of him. His mouth opened without input.

“Tell ya what.” Kiro pushed his plate towards her. “I’ll take the first sip of yours, and you take the first bite of mine. That way, neither of us are to blame for killing our cats.”

Ai’s eyes quivered. She couldn’t help but sigh-laugh. “Alright. It’s a deal, then.”

With delicate, fluid motion, she scooped the bulk of Kiro’s brulee up and popped the spoon into her mouth. Kiro, in turn skimmed all the foam from her bubble tea with one powerful suck of the straw. It was only after the two had returned their respective utensils that they paused to consider the situation.

Either they would have to drink bubble tea with a spoon and eat an omelet with a straw, or…

An indirect kiss.

Ai gripped her skirt with one hand and her straw in the other. “S-should I ask for another spoon?”

Kiro’s mouth hung open. Then, something stirred. That same feeling that made him ask for the exchange in the first place. The very same one that spurred him to ask her out. It had gotten him this far. The words in his head were directed straight to his gut:

I’ll trust you just this once.

“No big deal,” Kiro said, scooping up a heaping spoonful of creme-brul-omelet.

Ai’s blue eyes pulsed as he seemed to pop it into his mouth without a second thought. The girl hid her rapidly-reddening face behind her drink. She distracted herself with hyperventilating, bubble-riddled sips through her straw, thus completing the exchange.

Today was a good day.

The words ran through his mind throughout the rest of the glance-glazed, blush-bogged meal until they lost all meaning.

---

Kiro stepped out ahead, and Ai followed. The two teenagers walked out in silhouette against the lights of the shopping district. Low shadows crept along the cobbled road under the egress of the setting sun. Taking shelter from the passerby, the pair found that the cloistered nook behind the abandoned peanut cart had now grown to bisect the street, giving them even more space to themselves.

“That was great!” Kiro placed his hands behind his head. “Dontcha think?”

Despite the dim, deep dark all around them, her eyes seemed to catch every bit of the distant, orange glow of street lamps. Her irises were so alight that Kiro could picture icebergs turning over just out of frame.

“Mmhmm,” she mumbled.

Kiro glanced at Ai, who seemed to have gotten too caught up in playing with her hair to finish her thought.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, of course! Thank you, it was really sweet of you to take me there. A ‘purrfect’ choice.” Ai lowered her gaze. “It’s just…”

She came to a complete stop. Kiro followed suit.

“Just what?” he asked.

Ai looked up at him.

“I was just thinking. This is really nice, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Kiro tried his best to hide his gulp. “You just said it was ‘purrfect’-”

“No, not just the cafe. I meant… all of this. Being able to experience life with someone who really understands you. Not feeling alone anymore. I don’t want to lose that.”

The echo of passing footsteps. A faint smell of roasted, sugary peanuts. Warm lights tinting the red, blue, and yellow of the shopping district like a well-loved old photo. After those words, all those sensations were more vivid than ever.

“Kiro. You wouldn’t mind…” Ai continued, brushing a lock of hair from the front of her face. “If we took this to the next step?”

“The next step?”

Ai took a deep breath. Her eyes locked onto his.

“Making things official.”

Kiro’s heart dropped into his stomach like a ten-ton boulder.

The thoughts came slowly at first. His artvision flared up of its own volition, gauging the volume of the light and dark until everything melted into a gray soup. The angel and devil on his shoulder broke out into a fistfight, pinballing his mind this way and that. Sensation and time itself sped up until it reached a singularity, a blinding point of sharp, hot white. The invisible ocean beneath his consciousness felt the leviathan displacement of her hope as she stared at him. He was starved for oxygen, his animal instincts counting the increasingly awkward seconds as they burnt away.

Amid the fray, a singular thought bubbled up, forcing its way out of his mouth.

“Yeah.”