The Perfect Youth and the Lifechanging Bet...

***
Maegahara Shosei

The dream I so struggled to achieve was now within my grasp. The perfection I strived toward for so long was within my sight.

I, Maegahara Shosei, a second-year high school student, was directing my gaze toward the other side of the classroom. It was lunch break, and the surroundings were filled with the lively voices of the other students. My eyes were firmly locked on the five sitting by the windows. They were busy taking out their bentos and getting ready to eat while making some small talk like everyone else in the classroom. But they weren't like everyone else. At least in my eyes. Their silhouettes were practically glowing. The sunlight, stemming from the window, was seemingly embracing them as if the world itself admitted to their excellence. I'm sure it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but I didn't care because for me they were the perfect group.

As the lunch break went on, there wasn't a moment of uncomfortable silence or even a hint of displeasure as their conversation flowed from topic to topic. Everyone in the group was equally engaged: making jokes, laughing, and sometimes falling into thoughtful silence. There weren't any frantic attempts to fill in the empty space, spurred on by the fear of awkward silences. It was comfortable — yet joyful and engrossing all the same.

In one word — it was perfect. As if the world itself took a page from my imagination, turned it into reality, and placed it for everyone to witness. At the very least, that's what it felt like. Sure, for an impartial observer, it might have been a mundane sight. Merely a group of friends getting along well. However — it was different for me.

I aspired to the perfection that was present in their interactions. I was sure that they were the kind of group with whom I would be able to achieve my dream —the dream of perfect youth.

You see it all the time in anime. A company of friends living their youth to the fullest: going places, preparing for a cultural festival, making memories during the school trip... The list can go on forever. That slightly naive yet enticing ideal has always lived on in my heart. As I grew older, I wondered if such an ideal was achievable. I was filled with optimistic expectations, constantly watching such shows, nurturing and treasuring the dream of perfect youth... However, reality doesn't always work the way you want it. Soon, expectations turned into uncertainty, uncertainty — into doubt.

I spent my junior high years searching. Searching for a bond that could grant my wish — for my perfect youth. I met people, made friends, went places, created memories... But it just didn't feel right. It was as if the friendship wasn't what I truly wanted — almost as if I kept socializing because of some weird sense of obligation and duty.

This is how it should be. You have to fit in. You have to have friends.

You have to play your role like you're a part of some disgusting game of pretend. That made me feel sick. 

It's not like I didn't like the people I met, nor did I hate socializing. It just... felt hollow. I could be having fun, then the next thing I knew, I was filled with doubt. 

"Is this really what I want?" 
"Is this the youth I so desperately sought?"
"Is this what's supposed to make me happy ?"

I was running away from my dissatisfaction. I didn't want to face myself. I was desperately socializing in an attempt to forget that I was compromising. Deep inside, I knew — this would never meet my expectations. Confronting myself was embarrassing. I felt let down by the world and stupid for projecting my ideals onto it. I felt ashamed that disillusionment in such a childish dream I so preciously and single-mindedly nurtured was enough to disappoint me. I was exposed to my own immaturity. I felt conflicted. Giving up on my ideal felt like losing to reality. Clinging to my dream felt like giving in to my stubbornness and naivety.

Eventually, I met him. My first real friend.

It wasn't anything like my idealized vision of youth. We didn't go places, didn't get swept along in the hectic preparations for the cultural festivals, didn't create memories on the school trips... But it was comfortable. Nothing like the connections I'd had previously. There was no need to worry about awkward silences, offending others, or having to limit myself to the "right" topic. I felt comfortable talking to him about anything I could think of. It was a compromise in a sense, but the one I was okay with...

But now — now it's different. For the first time, I feel like the ideal is within my grasp. I just need to stretch out my hand, and I can reach it... That's why I've decided. No matter what, I will make friends with them.

As my head was filled with such thoughts, I kept glancing toward them, steeling my determination...

***
Furukawa Itsuki

Such thoughts were running through my head as I observed Maegahara Shosei.

His eyes were positively shining as he stared at the company of friends, eating by the windowsill.

Ishikawa Yamada. Suzuki Yukino. Nakano Akira. Maeda Fumiko. And finally — Kato Mitsu.
The group of five is pretty famous around our school. Recently they solidified themselves as "the group." All of them stand out for their own reasons, although all in a good way (kind of?). Since the beginning of this semester, they've constantly been together. They mesh well. Almost too well. It's almost like someone took a page of an idealized high school light novel and placed it in the real world. At least it seemed that way on the surface.

Maegahara Shosei (aka starry-eyed idiot) had spent the entire day trying to find a chance to talk to the group. It was painfully obvious he was trying (more like struggling) to make friends with them. But — due to the sheer awkwardness of his futile attempts — it made for a sad sight. Those attempts were, in fact, so pathetic that I'm 90% confident that none of the five had even noticed them... Well, at least four of them certainly hadn't.

Anyway, let's get back to Shosei. On the surface, he's not really your typical lonely geek. He interacts with others without much of an issue, makes small talk, and has no problem with communication per se. However, he never engages anyone of his own will, never goes beyond making small talk, and only interacts with others when it is an absolute necessity. And I'm pretty sure that's what he wants. I can't see any traces of loneliness or sadness in his actions. His decision to stay away from others seems to be a conscious choice. In other words, he lives in a completely different world from those five.

He sees something different in this group. Something that makes him think it's worth engaging them, worth trying to fit in. He sees no value in an imitation but is ready to strive toward the real deal. Obviously, all of those are merely speculations of mine... 

A wave of self-criticism and self-consciousness washed over me. Self-deprecating thoughts started spiraling in my mind. 

I wondered how long I was planning to watch. Will I ever take a step forward?

Regardless, Shosei is bound to fail. He will reach towards the sun and will get burnt in the process. He is merely projecting an ideal, striving towards the unreachable. They belong to different worlds, and, most importantly, they belong to a world he has already abandoned, of his own free will. As he is now, success is out of his reach. And in an attempt to change, he will betray himself. That's why I'm confident — he will face failure.

But I want to be proven wrong. And so, I will leave Shosei no choice but to commit to his decision with all his heart. Meanwhile, I will pray for his success.

***
Maegahara Shosei

I failed... 

I spent the whole afternoon trying to approach one of them at least, and the result — was an absolute failure! 

It's almost comical how unsuccessful I was... I would make up my resolve and approach them, only to get nervous and abandon the idea altogether. The one time I did call out to Yamada, I failed to say a single word! Damn it... I don't remember it being this problematic back in junior high... Have I gotten rusty? Wait, can you even get rusty at talking to people...?

While I was playing a solo straight-man comedy routine in my head, trying to distract myself from the failure of this afternoon, the school gates came into my vision.

The sun was still high in the air, and the familiar steel gate made for an imposing sight. The last period was over, so the area was crowded with students raring to go home.
The pleasant ruckus, the boisterous, lively conversations, the warm sunlight on my skin... This familiar scenery was weirdly comforting today. 

I closed my eyes, basking in the pleasant sensation. 

It reminded me of those high school anime I so loved. The usual scene of the noisy after-school hustle at the entrance is so ingrained in those sorts of stories that it made me remember my love for such shows and the ideal they represented. Usually, it would be an unpleasant reminder of an unachievable dream but now...

I opened my eyes. The pleasant ruckus had already gone by, and the students had gone home. I was getting ready to go myself when —

Suddenly, I spotted a figure leaning on the wall near the gate. It was a second-year student like me, and his gaze was locked on me. I recognized him. It was Furukawa Itsuki. He was standing right there, staring. Almost as if he was there all along, waiting for me to stop my daydreaming.

He was my classmate. Top of our class academically. Unsociable, always dry in his replies, and reluctant to engage others. And also, he was —

"You will fail."

His clear, calm voice interrupted my train of thought. The suddenness of his words surprised me, and I stayed silent, trying to process what he said.

After a few seconds of silence, I finally managed to recover from the initial shock and spoke up.

"Ehm... What exactly do you —"

"You will fail. Fail in your attempt to fit into their group."

It took me a few moments to register what he said. While I was still reeling from the sharpness in his words, he kept going.

"You belong to a different world. You will strive to reach the sun, betray yourself in the process, become disillusioned, and — eventually — fail."

My mind couldn't keep up with his steady, confident barrage of words. As their meaning sunk in, they started feeling like vicious blades, cutting deep into my consciousness.

"That's why I'm warning you now — it's just not worth it. Give up on this idea and just stay in your own comfortable world. Do that, and you won't have to betray yourself."

A moment of silence descended. For a few seconds, none of us said anything. His dry, confident voice made me uncomfortable. Finally, my mind fully computed what he had said, and a boiling emotion began stirring in my chest.
As if... as if a bunch of sharp words is enough for me to give up on my dream!

"The hell?" 

My voice was permeated with anger. In the face of such an arrogant statement, my reaction was natural. Itsuki's words were filled with a know-it-all attitude and a meaning I couldn't accept. It felt like he was voicing the doubts I had in my mind all this time. And that annoyed me to no end.

"So what? You're telling me you know how this will end? That all-knowing attitude of yours really irritates me, like you have all the answers or something... 

That's right. He suddenly barges in, spews a bunch of nonsense, and expects me to listen to him? What is wrong with him today? I'm not gonna take it lying down...

"We'll see! Give me a few months, and I will be close friends with them!"

My voice had this unsettling confidence that surprised even me. I was irritated at this self-made prophet, pretending he knew all the answers. Sure, I also had doubts about this, but you can never know if you don't try! And what is that bullshit about betraying myself? It's almost like he's convinced that I won't be able to change. Convinced that this will just end up with me playing the game of pretend...

No, that's not his doubts. In fact, that's my own doubts showing through. But it doesn't matter because this time — this time, it will be different!

His previous calm expression disappeared. Slowly, it transformed into a smug grin. Once again he spoke up. And his words were filled with such eagerness that it made me suspicious...

"Heh... So you think I'm mistaken? Fine, can't know without trying. Then how about this? We'll have a bet."

A gust of wind blew past us. My mind was trying to wrap my head around the word. I was puzzled by how quickly Itsuki gave his suggestion. Almost as if he was waiting for something like that to happen.

"A bet...?"

"Yeah, a bet. You have your birthday in three months, right? So that's it. If you successfully spend your birthday with those five, and will still be convinced that this is truly what you want, then I'll concede."

His voice still had the same confidence of his as he laid out the terms. In other words, we will have to prove ourselves through our actions. If I can bring the results, then I win. Otherwise — it's his victory, and I will have no choice but to admit he was right all along.

I took a glance at Itsuki. He still had that smug grin on his face. It was practically saying: No chance I can lose. This bastard... 

"...Fine, I'll play your game. I'll show you. Come winter, I will wipe that expression off your face!"

My statement seemingly amused him as his grin deepened. However, something aside from amusement was mixed into his voice as he bid me farewell. Something I couldn't quite figure out...

"Heh... can't wait. Do your best, then. I'll be waiting."

As he finished those words, he turned around and left, lazily waving the back of his hand. 

I stood in complete silence for a good minute. The sun was shining overhead as if overseeing the beginning of our bet.

After collecting my thoughts, I looked up at the sun, stretched my hand, and gripped it into a fist as if capturing the star in my hand.

"Just you see..."

As I finished those words, I started walking down the road. More motivated than ever, I started down the path home. Even that familiar path felt slightly different today. As if I wasn't going back home but rather venturing out on a journey...

That childish thought felt warm in my chest, and I hurried my steps...

Furukawa Itsuki

The bet was on.

Why did I have to rile him up?

Was it childish stubbornness? Misplaced pride? Simple curiosity?

No, it wasn't any of that. I was simply searching for answers, using his resolve to find out. Find out what was the nature of the feeling buried in my chest.

Regardless, I'll see it through to the end. I will be your opponent in this game, Shosei. And I'm afraid of knowing how that will impact the outcome... Will it make you soar? Or will it lead to your fall? You certainly won't give up but is that really the main problem here..? 

Shosei, whatever the outcome is, I hope you won't betray yourself...