Chapter 14:

Perfect Adult (2): The Slice of Life

Real Villain, Desu Wa!


“Bunny, I have an afternoon shift today! So let’s buy a new laptop first. My laptop was split into two parts when it fell two days ago,” Elma said as she changed her pajama. It was at 09:30.

Fell and was split into two parts? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Damian thought. I came here yesterday. Strangely, the humanoid that was assigned to her house as a watchdog didn’t say anything. A P2 model would say “Okaeri” or something when the household members came home. Was the humanoid broken too?

Elma pulled out her drawer and took some money. She then put that money on her jacket and remembered about her little brother. “Hmm, I wish that there are digital textbooks for lower grades too. They are cheaper. Why do they only provide digital textbooks for university students? I guess Dent wanted to give people more jobs,” Elma mumbled.

“Are you only a part-timer at D4BT?” Damian asked.

Elma turned around and replied, “Yup! Rose is a university student too, she is the most beautiful student on my campus, but she also works as my manager at D4BT. She has free time because she was in her ninth semester.”

Ninth semester? Isn’t she just an eternal student?!

Damian and Elma then walked to the nearest shopping center to buy a new laptop. Hand in hand, yes, hand in hand, they arrived near the parking lot.

Isn’t that foreigner’s shopping center brand? This one probably has a higher market share than the domestic ones. Otherwise, I don’t see the reason why there were demonstrations against foreign investments.

Elma stopped. Damian looked at Elma, and he noticed that Elma was looking at the fence near the entrance.

A child was leaning on the fence, she was asleep, and she put her hands on a travel bag that was on top of her stomach. The bag was opened, and it had many traditional snacks. The child was likely seven years old, her hair was messy, and her face was dark due to the sunlight.

Elma held hard Damian’s hand. Then she released Damian’s hand and walked to the child. She crouched and touched the child’s right shoulder and shook it a bit.

The child opened her eyes and flinched. She turned her head right and left, so she was confused and afraid.

Elma asked, “Do you sell the snacks?”

The child nodded.

“Did the snacks sell a lot today?”

The child shook her head and replied, “I sold a few, Mizz.”

Ja.” Elma took the money from her jacket and put them in the child’s hand. “Do you go to school? Why are you selling snacks at this time?”

“I need to buy textbooks, Ms.,” the child replied, “Ms., are you buying snacks? This is too much.”

“Nah, just take it. My friend, Rose, is super rich and very nice to me. Look, I even have her credit card!”

What the f*ck. Are you sure you didn’t steal it, Ms. Elma?!

The child opened her mouth, showed her few missing teeth, and curled up her lips.

“Where are your parents?”

“Dad is working. Mom is at home, washing customers’ clothes,” the child said slowly, and her eyes moved left and right.

“Let’s tell your mom about this money,” Elma said. She then held the child’s left hand and stood up. “Bunny, let’s visit her home.”

“What about work?” Damian asked.

“Rose won’t scold me for this. Trust me,” Elma said and gave Damian a wink.

Damian just nodded. I honestly cannot trust you, Ms. Elma, he thought. Dent, no, Gabriel or Xerxes, you should have provided free textbooks for children. What the f*ck are you doing, Mr. President?

After Damian and Elma met the child’s mother, they decided to buy some textbooks, new notebooks, and other school supplies with the child. The textbooks were a lot cheaper than a new laptop, but without the textbooks and the other supplies, it was difficult for the child to note or recall what she learned at school and prepare for her exam.

The child smiled all day long. When she picked some notebooks, when she grabbed some pencils and other school utensils, when she told Elma the rack of textbooks she needed, the child didn’t look tired and occasionally gave Elma and Damian her smile. Elma also bought a purple hair ribbon for the child.

The child was happy she could go back to school and wouldn’t have any difficult times anymore. Elma waved her right hand to the child when the child ran to the child’s house in the evening with a new school bag in her arms. Elma shouted, “Ganbare!”

Damian also waved his hand, and then he held Elma’s left hand. “Now I think you are super late, Ms. Elma.”

“Hahaha, don’t worry, don’t worry, Bunny. Rose won’t get angry!” Elma replied.

Are you sure about that, Ms. Elma?!

Damian and Elma then arrived at D4BT. They opened the front door and saw bar stools, a bar counter table, and a wine cabinet in front of them. On their left and right side, there were several tables and chairs for customers. No customer at that time.

D4BT was a bar, but since Dent banned alcoholic drinks, D4BT turned into a barbecue restaurant so there were only packaged juice, teas, and energy drinks in the wine cabinet.

A short gray-haired woman sat on one of the stools and faced the wine cabinet. She wore a black gothic dress with long sleeves and held a glass of orange juice in her right hand. She then turned around and said, “So, what the hell did you do today, Ms. Delinquent? You are late, and my credit card balance was mysteriously reduced.”

Elma scratched the back of her head with her right hand and replied, “Ahaha, gomen, gomen, Rose, I'll tell you later.”

“I don’t mind you using my money for charities, but please don’t be late, Elma, I was working alone.”

Is this not your first credit card abuse, Ms. Elma? Damian thought.

Rose heaved a sigh, and although she wasn’t angry, somehow she had a sharp gaze all the time. “And what is that walking thing?”

Elma lifted Damian and put Damian in front of her chest. She said, “He is Bunny! I found him on the street!”

What? Damian was shocked to find that he was a kind of stray cat.

“He might be a watchdog. Have you checked him?” Rose asked.

“My phone is also broken! Ehehe…,” Elma replied.

What things did you not break, Ms. Elma?

“Put him here. Let’s connect him to my phone,” Rose said. There was a smartphone and a USB connector on the counter table. Rose took the smartphone and connected it to the USB connector.

Elma walked to the counter table and put Damian on top of the table. “Hmm, where is his USB port?” Elma observed and traced Damian’s body with her hands.

“Uh, it’s ticklish!” Well, that was the case if I had emotions in this body.

“Short robots usually have their port on their butt holes,” Rose explained.

Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me? Are you serious?! Someone must have moved the port on this body! Bunny didn’t have a port on his butt!

Elma laid Damian face down and lifted Damian’s butt. She noticed a part that could be opened on Damian’s butt, and she opened that part. “Oh, it’s true! I can see the port! It’s a bit deep inside.”

WHO THE F*CK PUT IT THERE?

Elma grabbed Rose’s USB connector and aimed it at Damian’s butt hole. “Ja, I’m going to plug this into your butt, Bunny.”

“Wait, wait, wait, Ms. Elma?! I don’t think that’s a good idea. Doesn’t that hurt?” Damian asked.

Elma laughed. “Bunny, you are funny. Robots don’t have emotions. Here we go,” Elma said. “Haaaaaaa!”

Wait, wait, WAIT!

Plug!

“AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” Damian screamed as Elma plugged the connector into Damian’s butt hole!

Damian turned his head to Rose and noticed that Rose turned her head to the right, and she held her laughter with her right hand on her mouth.

This damn witch!

Rose then opened “H-App” and began to examine Damian’s program. “Hmm, it’s very complex, but I don’t see any familiar lines that must appear on a watchdog’s program. So I think this robot won’t monitor us.”

“Yay!” Elma shouted.

You should have turned my mind off first, you motherf*ckers! It didn’t hurt, but that plugging gave me a trauma, damn it!

Elma then started to work. She cooked and served. There weren’t many customers, so she could handle her job. She only worked as a waitress, but Rose asked her to cook as her punishment.

Damian was just rolling and entertaining the customers with his random performances. He learned some performances from Hikari’s memory after all. It seemed that D4BT sometimes provided entertainment when the customers could be trusted.

Thus that was the first day of Damian’s slice-of-life experience. He wondered if he could continue that peaceful life. But of course, slice-of-life was never an option for Damian. He, once again, would have to fight for his own sake.