Chapter 38:

fascination of death

love sick delinquent

i suddenly remembered the violin claudia had lend to me not to mention the the second selection will be soon so i have to double time practicing and besides didn't go straight back at the general department building not like there'll be someone there to greet me

''i wonder if reiji is okay''

i was lingering at the side of the hallways in the music department to look for reiji when a group of students ran out the opposite way bumping me

reiji must be on class right now..maybe i can wait for him ubtil his class was over.i thiygh to myself went to the biggest practice room where.jicol used to ppractice but i got surprised on what i was

the room was completely empty as if it had been lock for weeks but i just shrugged and open the case when i saw a music sheet on the stand

''claire d lune''i read out''seems like someone had came here.before me and been playing this note

i decided to play it instead and pick ip the violin''i wonder if i can pkay this properly''i thought to myself and began to play

how beautiful...

i felt completely happy for was such a beautiful piece

but everything was broken within a second

claudias violin as been snapped

''oh no''i said in horror

with the broken violin in my hands i found myself heading towards the eyes alreat brimming with tease my legs got me to step into the stairs.''how can i explain this to claudia''i just sob nonstop as i grab the railings for support.the tears didn't seems like it'll stop sooner until i heard something

i heard

a beautiful melody and it was a sound of a violin and it was unlike any other violin sound

i felt it happened a deja vu perhaps

i was always drawn to this music

it was the melody of clair de lune ,but moire stop mystears immediately

i looked around to see if there was anyone around from the sunset shadows

i was jo from a far wekk we weren't

dazzled by the melody's music yjay thas being palyed out every bow stroke ,mesmerized by the soul that's allowing me hear this

the smuci was stunning yet in could fell afaint hint of lonilisess in the tone

in the way he expressing every phase and part,it sounded beautfil but one sided

but suddebly it was stop

''The picture book...where the main character

dies in first page..."someones said as i walk cliser towards the guy .my eyes widened

''What the heck are you doing idiot?!"i yelled as i run towards him and thats when I saw his beautiful face with blank expression and hollow eyes standing on the roof of the music department, outside the fence.

'you always pop out of unexpected places what are you mushroom?''he asked with his usual tone

"Tell me what is going on with yo;u?"i said as i reached out his hand and tried to pull him

"it's.not what it"

great things will happen if you keep on loving"i said as i firmly stared at him straight to his eyes''I know that you are in pain but...its not something to be depressed much like this''i added as i pull got to down but he just won't barge in

"Its not like the world has ended"i.murmurd''Are you worrying about that much that you got depressed like that"

''Anyways,I got rejected by the same bpy five times"i said proudly as i started to let go of nicols arms''He always stared at me I thought that this must be the way he feels so I confessed to him''

''he doesn't like me... And I knew that this will never change....Or maybe it will be:'

"I felt happy when he spoke to me"I like him and I was helpless as it happened"saying that.nicol stared at me blankly and look away

''Find new love quickly and forget about him''he responded

''heys its not about me you know''i said irritatedly "I couldn't help worrying so I noticed you standing on the rooftop''i once again grabbed nicol hand and pull him down when i.noticed him glanced at me again.

''was he really looking at me or I was just imagining it?''i thought to myself

"Why you not have a romance with me before I die?"he said with a serious look on his face ''My dream right now is to commit a double suicide with a beautiful woman ''

''will you die with me''he asked as he reached out his hand to me

''you should make joke like that!''saying that i climbed into the fence and stand beside nicol and for some reason he smiled and let a big sigh

''it all started ever since i was a kid...and now I'm having trouble breathing just thinking about what the future will bring... i want to know but the feelings is too strong now that i want to die so hard katarina please....please save me''saying that.he glanced at me once again and i can see sadness in his eyes

he wasn't messing around!this is a serious sucided attempt.with the sudden realization my eyes widened in fear

''nicol....''when all my strength i wrapped my arms around him and use my weight to pin him down on the safe ground and we landed on the grass carpet of the rooftop

i pull my body away from bicol and lay down beside him -trying to catch my breath

''i am the happiest when skies starts changing its color''he gently whispered"I am going to stop dying for now''he said with a smile on his face

a genuine smile

whats the problem with you?!''i yelled as tears began to fall down my eyes.

i was so scared.i thought someone will going to die in front of me

''im not trying to kill my self''he said

''you do?''i asked and nicol nodded

''why are you here?''he asked''you're still stalking me?h'he added as he slightly tilted his head

that's not its''i yelled but he chuckled and stood up silently walking away from me

what had just happened?suck bicol!hiw dare he play with my feelings!

i lifelessly walked away from the rooftop and went back to the geberal department building

with no direction i found myself in front of the music room where reiji cleaned the piano for me the day rindou created chaos at school

''ive been looking all over for you''he said and stared at me''gabriel and reijis rumor sure was all over the place ''he sigh

i immediately look away ''i end up hurting them again''i said in whispered''i really want to tell them how i feel''

saying that yahiro held both of my shoulder and stared at me''just tell them how you really feel katarina''

i nodded '' i'm going to try talking to them tomorrow that i don't just want to be their fellow competitor i want to become their friend''

'' i'm going to do my best to become friends with them again''

I said it ....

''go for it''yahiro said and smile

i will''saying that i run into the hallway waying goodbye to jin

and just with those words and his smile aline,he gives me the push i need to move forward i can do it yahiro i'll definitely do it ......''