Chapter 17:

Year 2-6: The addictive secret

Is it ok?

“I swear to god if you tell anyone I´ll personally make sure it´s the last thing you´ll ever say.” Takumi said menacingly.
“I won´t say anything, I promise. What reason would I have to tell anyone anyway?” Riku tried to sound as calming as possible, Takumi was working himself up. “Now clam down, right now you´re in aggressive mode.”
Takumi seemed to not have noticed his tone. “Sorry. It´s just… this isn´t easy.” He ignored Riku and started to breath weirdly.
“What are you doing?” Riku asked.
“Breathing exercises. My therapist taught them to me.”
Riku sat in silence next to Takumi, waiting for the first year to finish.
“My brother Gen is… let´s just say he´s not my favorite person in the world. He always hung out with the cool people. You know the party people, getting drunk every weekend, never studying and smoking like a chimney.” Takumi stared at the ground while talking, he didn´t want to look Riku in the eyes. “He started associating with some really bad people around his third year in high school. I was still in elementary school. By the way he´s eight years older than me. So anyway, the people he started hanging out with were… well mostly junkies. He started selling drugs on the street for one of them.”
Riku felt Takumis gaze meet his. “Oh wow, your brother sounds like a piece of work.” He managed, not knowing what else to say. Takumi seemed fine with the tiny bit of encouragement and continued: “He and his friends seemed to think it would be funny to pressure people they know into taking drugs, me included.”
Riku fell into a stunned silence. What could he possibly say to that? “So you´re an addict?” He said as quietly as possible.
“I´m clean. My second year actually.” Takumi now stared into the distance. “He gave me amphetamines. I still don´t know where he got them from and to be honest I don´t want to know. My parents found out and let me tell you I have never heard them scream at anyone like that before or since. They were furious!” Takumi managed a hurt laugh. “They got me to therapy and counseling. I felt so weird in the beginning, like I didn´t deserve to get clean.” He looked hurt. “Well anyway my brother got arrested and I got clean.”
“That´s quite the secret you just told me.” Riku said.
“I just want to live normally, you know go to school and have fun with friends. That´s why you really need to keep this a secret.”
Riku nodded. “So the cigarettes are like a substitute of sorts?”
“I guess. I was told I have an addictive personality. You know I get addicted to stuff pretty fast.” He laughed. “I thought maybe books could become a new addiction but no smoking it had to be. Now that I´m saying it like that I think I´m pretty messed up.”
“No you´re not. You can´t help that it became like this.” Riku thought what to say for a moment. “I know let´s find something else you could get passionate about, something that doesn´t involve poisoning your body.”
“Good luck with that; my therapist has been trying that for two years now.”
“We´ll manage something. I know you don´t want to let anyone else know but you could tell everyone in the club. They’ll keep your secret well… a secret and they could help you. But that´s obviously your decision to make.”
Takumi turned to Riku. “Would you come with me to tell them?”
Riku nodded. “I´ll even hold your hand if you need to.”
“I don´t think I´ll need that.”

He did need it. Takumis nails were digging into Rikus hand, he tried to ignore it. Takumi was very obviously scared. After telling his secret an uncomfortably long moment of silence sped through the club room. Takumis nails were now digging themselves even more into Rikus skin, he took a deep breath. It doesn´t hurt, it doesn´t hurt. Yuri was the first to get up and hug Takumi. “Don´t worry, we won´t tell anyone.”
Riku was surprised that he actually believed her. Yuri and Yuki had kept their promise of not stalking anyone and they did manage to not tell the entire school secrets that were better kept secret. “I think dad has written some articles about addiction.” Yuri mumbled.
Satsuki rubbed Takumis shoulder. “Your secret´s save here.” She smiled. Takumi blushed slightly, then his blushing got worse when Kiyoko hugged him. “You could have told us sooner! I thought you didn´t like us.”
“No it´s just, the recovery sometimes makes me act irrationally. It´s definitely not your fault.”
Kiyoko smiled at him. Takumi tried to look away but couldn´t do it. He smiled back at her.
“I can feel the sparks.” Yuusuke said standing next to them.
Takumi turned to him annoyed. “Would you shut your mouth?”
“I´m just stating the obvious.” Yuusuke threw his hands up as if a police officer was standing there instead of Takumi.
“Good so does anyone have an idea for a safe addition?” Nozomi asked.

They wrote a very long list of things. Takumi crossed out what he had already tried, which was a lot of things. He stopped at one word. “What´s gunpla?”
Yuki smiled. “Gundam plastic models.” Yuki had a sizable collection of the models even though he had never seen even one episode of any Gundam series ever.
Takumi frowned. “I don´t watch Gundam.”
“Oh sweet innocence. You don´t need to. I have a set for beginners, it´s too easy for me but you can have it.” Yuki put his arm around Takumis shoulder.
Takumi seemed do regret having asked. Yuki smiled brightly at the prospect of getting someone else into gunpla. He had tried with Riku and Yuri but both just found it boring and tedious. Maybe Takumi would enjoy it. Riku really hoped that he would.