Episode Five

No, no, no, no…. How the hell can I apologize to her? I haven’t opened my door again since I realized how mad she was. Was she more mad at the fact that I didn’t answer the door for her packages during those two days? Ah, I can understand that. Whatever it is that’s in there, it’s probably very valuable to her. I wish I could apologize to her but I’m too scared to. She might get more mad at me and she might suddenly decide to move out and leave me all alone. There’s just no way that I could look for another roommate… I can’t. I can’t. I just can’t do it. There’s no other roommate that could tolerate me. They would expect things of me, things that Chloe never did and I don’t want to lose her.

I’ve long since put on some clothes and I left Sakura on the bed. She… no, it, it just laid there on my mess of a bed. Did I even feel tired? Well, a little bit… but my heart pounded against my chest as I try to decide my next move. I could feel sweat bead against my neck and back - I could feel it slide down ever so slowly, letting me know that I have to make a decision fairly soon.

However, before I could think of how to apologize to her, I hear a knock against my door. I glanced at my body pillow and, of course, it just sat there. She just sat there and watched this drama unfold - this made me angry. Why would she tell me these sweet promises of comfort if I slept for two days? Why would she coax me into sleeping for two days? Oh, this is all my fault!

I grab my head and my heart started to beat against my chest faster. I didn’t want this… I wanted to support Chloe. I wanted to see her happy! I wanted to help her… this thing… this body pillow promised that things will be better for me - but when? When?!

“Hey, open up. I need to talk to you.”

There it was.

She must’ve reached that point of no return. Oh, this is all my fault. I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m sorry I’m such a strange roommate. I don’t want to give up on our friendship - is it bold of me to even admit that - but I can understand why she feels that way.

She knocked again and then I heard a sigh.

“It’s nothing bad. It… really isn’t but please open the door. I-I beg of you.”

Her tone of voice surprised me but it didn’t stop the beating of my heart. She sounded sad and guilt seemed to drip from her voice. What happened in the two days that I slept? Did something really bad happen? I-I need to be there for her… I need to show her that I can be okay. Alright, maybe sleeping for two days isn’t exactly ‘okay’ but I can toss that aside for her. I want to help her so much and I want her to accomplish that dream - whatever that dream is.

Very slowly, I got up and reached the door. I opened the door only open enough to see her and she looked like she had been crying. Her work hairstyle hadn’t been let down and she still wore her work clothes. Her eyes were puffy and still somewhat moist. I probably looked like a mess to her but I didn’t comment on anything. Immediately, I grew concerned and opened the door a little wider. I hoped she would ignore the body pillow and the state I was in. Maybe she understood that I’m somehow under the spell of a weird body pillow named Sakura.

Once that I opened the door wide enough, she pushed through and immediately hugged me. Her work perfume tickled my nose and I immediately forgot the fact that I slept for two whole days. I immediately forgot about the troubles I’m going through - because what mattered was the woman who hugged me. She started to cry on my shoulder and she shook with a fervor that I recognized.

“Did something happen at work again?” I didn’t mean to whisper but she was so delicate. We both fell to the floor with her still hugging me. I didn’t want her to let go. I never wanted her to let go. Her warm body against mine, in contrast to Sakura’s strange coldness, really let me know what the obvious choice was - this crying woman in my arms.

She cried for a few moments longer and eventually she started to soften up.

“I was so worried about you. I thought I heard a different voice in your room and I thought you got hurt. I thought you ran away. I was so scared!” Then I realized how much she shook in my arms. “B-But I don’t understand why I couldn’t just open your door! It was like a strange force keeping it closed! I don’t understand… Were you mad at me?”

She wouldn’t let me go.

I kept her there.

I hugged her tighter. She was not going to leave my arms any time soon. Not until she decides she has had enough. However, I am pretty shocked that she said she missed me so much. R-really, though? She’s not mad about the fact I left her packages outside? She’s not mad at the fact that I stayed in my room this whole time? She’s not mad that I wasn’t here when she needed me? S-strange… But I have to think of something to say quick. I don’t want her to garner any more suspicion.

“N-no… I don’t know why I was so tired but… I’ve been busy.” Oh, why am I lying? I shouldn’t lie, especially to her - but she can’t know about Sakura. That’s my secret from Chloe.

Finally, she pulls out of my hug and stared at me. “B-busy? With what?” Tears still fell from her pretty face and I do my best not wipe them away. She’s a wonderful person but I couldn’t help but feel she’s lying to me too. However, I have to respond to her.

“Ah…” I say as I try to quickly think of a lie. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my sketchbook that I tried, and failed, to crumple up. I don’t want to tell her about ‘art’. She didn’t know that I’m an artist - or was. There’s no point in telling her now. She won’t have to know about that. So I lie. Again.

“Oh, did I say I was busy?” I give her a fake laugh. “N-no, I was sick. I had a small cold so I stayed in my room and slept the whole time.”

It wasn’t a full lie - it explained why I was asleep for so long and it might’ve explained why she couldn’t open the door. That’s right. I blocked the door to prevent her from getting sick. I didn’t answer her e-mails because I was sick. Yes, that’s right.

“But how could you have eaten in there?”

Crap, I forgot about that. “Uhh...I had snacks in here…”

She gave me a confused look as she grabbed my shirt and suddenly blew her nose on it. Ah, gross but it at least changed the subject between us. While she had never known me to be a sleepy type when I’m sick - instead, I remember I’ve whined this past winter about how I couldn’t sleep - at least she seemed to understand my message. But I don’t want her to know about Sakura.

“W-where did you get the body pillow?” She seemed to have calmed down and seemed satisfied when the subject changed to me. I really want to change it back to her. I don’t think me being in my room for two days straight would be a reason for her to cry - there’s just can’t be. I know she’s mad at me for not picking up her packages - something must’ve happened.

“Ah, an internet friend sent it to me. It’s a joke body pillow.” Another lie. I have no friends. Internet friends come and go but Chloe is my only friend.

“Oh…” She looked down and didn’t seem to get the joke. It didn’t matter to me anyway as there was no joke to ‘get’. It’s a lie, Chloe, and I don’t want you to be involved in this.

“What happened at the get-together--”

“Did you eat yet? It’s a little late but are you hungry? Are you feeling better enough to eat?” I’d rather have her pester me about feeling better and eating than her finding out the truth about Sakura. However, I am quite worried about her myself.

“Yeah, I can eat,” the first piece of truth I said tonight. What happened that night, though, that I was under Sakura’s spell? Did something happen with that guy? If he had done something to her…!!

“Come on. Let’s get something to eat together, okay?”

.x.

We ended up going to a ramen stand even though it’s probably not healthy for me after ‘being sick’ for two days but honestly, I somehow managed to convince her. It’s a little worrying how easily convinced she was but Chloe had always been one to go with the flow. However, I’m getting kind of worried that someone could take advantage of this lax attitude of hers.

When I went back into my room after I showered, I couldn’t help but notice the stench of being trapped in my own room for two days. How could I have slept in this stench? Actually, where is that stench coming from? I didn’t want to look around for too long - I tried to avoid Sakura’s ‘gaze’ because I didn’t want her to distract me from going out to eat. I slept for two days after all… Sakura can’t be so selfish.

I shook my head as I turned on my light in my room. Why am I acting like Sakura is an actual person? Am I really so desperate for human contact that I’m imagining such a thing? This is gross. No. I do have a friend and her name is Chloe Lopez. It’s only in my mind, though, that I consider her a friend - more than a roommate. I don’t know what suddenly gave me that jolt of inspiration about our status together. No, she’s my roommate. I shook my head.

“You’re leaving me behind again?” Sakura’s voice quivered and sounded so sad. “I-it’s okay… I-it’s okay...I-I…” Her voice cracked and quivered and whined. I tried to be cold-hearted. I tried to ignore her. “Go ahead and leave me behind… It’s what she would do to you eventually.” Her voice decided to be cold so suddenly.

I turned my head away as I tried to get my phone from my charger. It’s been at 100% for a couple of days. Maybe I messed up its battery because of this.

“Eh, are you mad at me? I-I’m so-so sorry.”

I grabbed my coat. Chloe said it was cold outside.

“Listen to me! L-listen to Sakura-chan!”

The body pillow stayed put and didn’t move. It couldn’t move without me. If her image showed up on the pillow, I didn’t see it. I couldn’t see it. I wasn’t going to see it. No. I’m going to be with Chloe, Sakura-chan.

“We can go out for ramen together! P-please… just don’t leave me behind…!” Now she sounded desperate. Had she been real, she’d probably cling to my pants and beg me to stay with her cute innocent eyes.

I shook my head. And she’s not real. She’s a body pillow. I forced her weird voice out of my head as I made way to the door. Chloe was waiting for me and I was going out with her for some salty ramen noodles. Together. Just me and her.

“No! I want to be with you!”

You can’t. You’re just a body pillow.

“No. I want to be with you.” A distorted voice immediately replaced Sakura’s cute original voice. It frightened me so much that it literally stopped me in my tracks. My eyes went wide and I almost completely stopped in my tracks. And I did because it stole my breath away. “You will be with me. I’m good for you after all. I’m your only friend. You’re so valuable to me - just as I’m valuable to you.”

The voice did not come from my mind. Even though I had turned on the lights, the room suddenly got so dark, I could barely see what was in front of me. My floor didn’t seem like a floor but a void of darkness. I wanted to scream but no sound came out of my mouth. I felt I was trapped. If I moved, would I still be in my room? Was this even my room anymore? W-was this even planet Earth anymore?

I felt something grab my body. I couldn’t wiggle out of it. I could barely move and nothing was in front of me. What was going on?!

Then I felt a sinister being in front of me. She, as that’s the only way I could describe it, was the same height Sakura-chan would be. She had half of her body with her frilly hat and I could see the outline of her body. However, I just knew it was her. Nothing else indicated anyone, or anything, otherwise but I just knew it had to be her. It had to be!

“You need to be with me. Didn’t you get my letter? Hey, hey,” the distorted voice talked with Sakura’s tics and it unnerved me further, “didn’t I say something extraordinary was gonna happen to you?”

Suddenly, her voice changed. I don’t know if that was to comfort me but it didn’t. Oh, no, no, no, no, it made me terrified so much! I didn’t know what else I could do! What could I say to such a creature? Why did I stop calling her Sakura instead of her usual Sakura-chan? No - because I know this isn’t her. She wouldn’t do this - whatever this is!

“Hey, hey,” the distortion continued, “why won’t you answer?” She growled at me and I wonder how I could respond to such a question with a terrifying voice! How could I? I shut my eyes and start whimpering and crying. I couldn’t answer her. How could I?! Why isn’t Chloe here? Why isn’t Chloe here?!

Then we both heard a knock and finally, everything seemed to have disappeared - including the grip around my body. I stood in a terrified state with my arms trying to protect myself with my eyes still shut. I slowly opened them to see that my room is back to normal and the body pillow remained on my bed. I grabbed it, even though I hesitated at first, and threw it back at its original place against my wall.

I hate this thing! Why is it here?!! How could you send yourself to me?!! Is this a trick?! Is this a trick the government is trying to pull on NEETs like me?! Is this part of some weird program? What the hell is going on?!

I hear my name for the second time which is followed by another concerned knock. Chloe!

I rush to open my door and there she was - in her casual clothes, eyes that looked much happier and glittering, and ready to eat some ramen. I must’ve looked disheveled to her because her face immediately grew concerned.

“What happened here? Are you sick again? Do you have a fever?” She asked as she tried to place a hand on my forehead but I dodged it. I shook my head and, instead of answering her, I pushed us out of that cursed room. I… I don’t know what just happened but I am absolutely not putting Chloe in danger because of me.

She cried because of me, assuming that’s even true, but I absolutely refuse for this… this thing to even go near her!

To be continued….