Chapter 25:

Presidential Debate and Election!

Real Villain, Desu Wa!


A week had passed, and it was time for the fifth election debate in a multipurpose room at Wolfman Hotel at 20:00. Damian sat on the front audience seat beside Kisara near the podium. There was a big screen in the center of the podium, and on both sides of the podium, there were chairs and speech stands for the candidates. Needless to say, the audience was under a ceiling.

Damian heard the audience clap. Then the moderators in the center of the podium shouted, “Good evening, Verdandi! Peace, and God’s blessings and mercy be upon you.” There were two moderators: one was a man, and another was a woman. The woman didn’t smile because she must have had a menstrual cramp.

“Let’s begin with me, Marcia,” the female moderator said.

“And me, Todd,” the male moderator said.

Then both moderators shouted, “The fifth election debate of the 2268 Verdandi Presidential Election!” Then the audience clapped.

Marcia said, “Alright… our theme today is economy. Now, let’s greet our first candidates, with ballot number one, Dr. Easton Smith and Ms. Anastasia Wolfman…”

Why did they choose this gloomy moderator?! Damian thought.

“MOMMYYYYYYY,” the supporters of Anastasia shouted when Easton and Anastasia appeared from the back of the big screen and walked to the podium from the left side. Easton just chuckled because he noticed he was less popular than Anastasia.

Easton then shook Marcia’s hand, but when Anastasia shook Todd’s hand, Anastasia’s supporters shouted, “BOOOOO!” and then one supporter shouted, “Hey! Have you washed your hand after jerking off?!”

Todd looked at the audience and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please follow the rules of debate. You may shout your slogan or a candidate’s name, but you may not make other remarks. The rules are not different from the previous debates.”

“So you DID jerking off.”

There was silence in the room for a moment. Then Todd shouted, “Now, let’s greet our second candidates, with ballot number two, General Xerxes Schaffer and Ms. Tricia Gabriel!”

Xerxes and Tricia went to the podium from the right side. Xerxes waved his right hand to the audience and then shook Marcia’s hand. Xerxes also shook Todd’s hand, but when Todd gave his right hand to Tricia, Tricia just smiled. Thus Todd rubbed his right hand on his black suit jacket.

“Ladies and gentlemen, now please stand up to sing our national anthem,” Marcia said. Then a famous singer who stood on the left side of the podium began to sing. The audience also sang the anthem, but their voice wasn’t louder than the singer.

“Verdandi, Verdandi, freedom, oh, our freedom.”

The chorus makes me want to cry. It is touching, but I don’t shed any tears, so let’s borrow some, Damian thought and glanced at Kisara. Kisara shed tears as she listened to the chorus, so Damian rubbed her left cheek and put her tears on his cheeks with his left index finger.

Kisara was surprised. She turned her head and looked at Damian with a dumbfounded face: she didn’t blink, and her mouth was open. However, Damian just kept singing and looked unfazed.

“Thank you…,” Marcia said. “Now before we start the debate, let’s have a moment for a prayer because Verdandi is not Rick’s nation.” Then the audience looked down and didn’t make any noise.

Damn it, it has been a while I pray. What do I have to mutter? I forget, Damian thought and glanced at Kisara’s hands. Kisara held a folded paper, and there was a line written on it for prayer. So you DO forget this too, Ms. Kisara. Prayer always goes like this. People don’t pray frequently or once per second. Only villains do that.

Some minutes had passed, and it was still serene.

What the hell, how long do people pray?! What the f*ck are they praying? Damian was bewildered. Damian glanced at Kisara’s paper, and the paper became unfolded and longer. He read something written on it without making any sound: “Oh, God, why does my menstrual cramp so hurt this time? Please, o, the Merciful, lessen this pain and make my day. Amen. Oh, please also put Damian Ford in jail or something. He is disgusting and sometimes goggling at me. Amen.”

Excuse me, Ms. Kisara? Why the hell did you note something like that?! Also, isn’t this a prayer for the debate?! Damian then lifted his chin and observed his surroundings. His eyes met Tricia’s eyes. Tricia smiled at Damian, and she didn’t pray.

I don’t know why my memory of you wasn’t erased, but I remembered what you did to me, Tricia, and I won’t forgive you.

“Amen. Thank you, now please have a seat, and let’s see the rules of debate,” Marcia said, and then the moderators went to the right side of the podium, so the audience could watch the video on the big screen regarding the rules of debate.

“Okay, now let’s begin the debate with the vision and mission of each pair of candidates related to our theme, economy,” Todd said as he sat behind the moderator table in front of the audience seat. “According to gacha, oh, I apologize, according to the drawing lots, the second candidates have the first turn to convey their vision and mission. The time limit is four minutes, and it begins when the candidates speak. Please.”

Xerxes and Tricia stood up and walked to their speech stands. Xerxes said, “Peace, and God’s blessings and mercy be upon you.” He glanced at the audience and smiled. He then opened a folded paper and read: “We believe that foreign investments contributed to our economic growth. However, we also believe that domestic products are more important. Therefore, we will supervise and support them.

Supervisions are necessary because we have our own ideology; we have our own traditions. So any products should not promote any negative or unhealthy behaviors. It’s clear that those unhealthy foods are against Perfect Adult. It’s clear; those revealing clothes are against Perfect Adult. Why isn’t the cleavage covered, but the neck is covered? Nonsense. Why do you wear nightclothes outside? Are you going to seduce any passerby? Disgraceful. We support our current government, and we will continue their legacy. We don’t follow Rick’s economic policies.”

Xerxes then lifted and put his left hand beside Tricia. Tricia was on his left side.

“Thank you for the time, desu wa,” Tricia said. “Perfect Adult isn’t against anime. Monipa’s Journey is perfectly fine; it’s for children. But, most anime make people jerk off, for example, Redo of Keita, and that is disgusting, desu wa. We don’t need those kinds of entertainment. We can have theatres and operas in opera houses as our entertainment. It’s classy, it’s educational, and it encourages people to leave their basement and socialize with others, desu wa. Therefore, Perfect Adult doesn’t steal our jobs, but it promotes honorable jobs, so we will maintain this utopian nation. Desu wa.”

The audience clapped.

For the love of God, what’s wrong with jerking off?! NTR and rapes. Those are WRONG. Jerking off doesn’t hurt anybody, but it’s RELIEVING! Damian thought.

“Next, let’s listen to Dr. Easton and Ms. Anastasia. The time limit is four minutes. Please,” Todd said.

Easton and Anastasia stood up and walked to their speech stands. “Good evening. Peace, and God’s blessings and mercy be upon you,” Easton said. Easton then chuckled and said, “We don’t like a person who gives a good speech, but they do nothing for people’s prosperity. People, not colleagues. Or they don’t have a clear program. So, to give people a practical promise, we are going to make this: Verdandi Entrepreneur Card.”

Easton lifted a blue card and showed it to the audience. “This card is for those who want to market their domestic products and give people jobs, but they lack connections or funds. We will give these cards to those who have the best business proposals; we won’t give these cards only to those who have good connections, like, a good connection with me. No, we won’t. We will hold a tender, so everyone can participate. We already have some good domestic products, but they just don’t get enough support from the government. We are not corrupt. Anastasia, do you have anything to say?”

Anastasia bent her back, showed her right hand, and put her right index finger on her right thumb. Then she gave a wink and made an X with her right index finger and her right thumb: it was the finger heart.

What the f*ck are you doing, Anastasia?

“MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY,” Anastasia’s supporters shouted again and disregarded the rules of debate.

Then Anastasia said: “Anime gives people their perfect lives. It inspires them to chase their dream or make other inspiring works. Jerking off or not, it’s not imperfect when you don’t harm or harass others. In fact, it is imperfect when you despise those who didn’t harm you; it’s not common sense. So, let’s give people more jobs without bending the spirit, the core, of our ideology, which is love, and disgust against those rapists or NTR bastards.”

Why the f*ck do we discuss jerking off in a presidential debate?!

The audience clapped, and the debate continued.

After the fifth election debate, the silence period had passed, and the election began. Damian waited for Easton in Kievan Theatre. Damian, Anastasia, and Easton’s campaign team were going to watch some quick counts.

F*ck Xerxes. He made a rule that people have to give their votes in their workplaces. Therefore, anyone who doesn’t vote for him will have the risk of being known and facing OC-IPA.

I didn’t think we were going to win, but losing is just according to keikaku (means "plan" in Japanese), Damian thought and grinned. Misdirection, success.