Chapter 20:
My Government-Issued Girlfriend Can't Be This Cute!
"Well, we're almost back at least." A twilight sky above had been granting me reprieve from an otherwise stressful day at work. But walks home still felt nice sometimes.
The narrow street towards my house radiated nostalgia, no matter how many times I strolled through. Stuffed with memories, it was also lined with quaint, middle-class homes. Neighbors knew each other and would often wave to me while they watered their gardens or walked their dogs. All I ever did was smile back like nothing was amiss.
Lately though, my smiles were more genuine.
"One, two, three, four . . ." Asagiri on my right was counting her fingers as we continued trekking home. She seemed to be struggling with basic math. "Mrrmmurph . . . "
"I have six coworkers," I grumbled. Anger still lingered inside me for my girlfriend's antics at work.
"Huh? Six? I only saw five people in blue aprons though!"
"It's never all seven of us there because most of us have days off. You didn't see a buff guy named Mogami since he doesn't work Mondays."
She reached into her purse and pulled out the newspaper again, unfurling then hiding herself behind it. "Yeah, yeah, but plot twist: besides you, I scoped out most of your coworkers too, peeking in and out just like this—super sneaky stuff."
"But why do tha—actually, I shouldn't even ask."
"Glad you asked! After I got bored watching you, I moved on to your hot manager, Kamikawa. The nickname I'm giving him is Pretty Boy."
"Why are you giving my coworkers nicknames?"
"Well, they're your friends. I gotta remember them somehow."
"They have names. They wear literal name tags."
"How do you think I know their names? Dummy."
"You're missing the point, but okay."
Asagiri tucked the newspaper away then walked ahead of me. "Your vagina just has too much sand in it. Nicknames are cute, that's that."
"Okay then, what's my nickname?"
"Virgin."
"I regret asking."
She slowed down and gave me a chance to catch up, almost like an apology for her crude joke. There was a cute glint in her eyes as she held her hand out for me—a signal that I had her approval. Soon, my own hand was interlocking around hers while we linked like a true couple again, and we continued our stroll through the neighborhood.
"You know, you didn't need to wait for me at the train station," I said. "You could've just gone home without me."
Asagiri jingled a set of keys around her other wrist. "Using these bad boys once a day is enough. Besides, it'd be more romantic if you found me waiting for you right after work, right?"
I'd recently given her house keys in case she ever wanted to go out while I was working. But she was already abusing the privilege, so I needed some payback.
My brain hatched an erotic reply. "There's something more romantic though. Coming home to my girlfriend wearing a skimpy apron and telling me, 'Do you want dinner, a bath, or me' would be even bette—"
"Just wear your uniform in the mirror and tell yourself that." She beamed me a smug grin.
"H-Hey! It's not like I wanna wear an apron! But they're common uniforms for bookstores!"
"Your manager rocked one pretty good though. Maybe I'll ask if he's single."
Kamikawa is seducing even my GiG now . . . "Wait, so you checked on every coworker over there, right?"
"Mhmmm."
I raised a spare finger to itch my cheek. "I don't suppose you noticed any coworkers sneaking glances at me, did you?" Thoughts of Summers invaded my mind.
"Actually, I did see someone."
"H-Huh? I was just joking around!" Probably, maybe.
"Hehe." She pulled out the lollipop from her mouth and waved it around. "It was Asada—that loli manager girl."
"Asada? Well that explains it. She was obviously just watching me in case I slack off or something."
"Nuh-uh! I saw her super starry-eyed peeking from around shelves to sneak peeks at you! She's totally in love fam."
"I told you before, I'm not into lolis and she's definitely not into me!"
"She was the first coworker at the scene today, right? Doesn't that mean she'd already been keeping her eye on you?"
"No! That was just her section for the day! It's obvious she'd be around!"
"Then why was she missing when you were missing too?"
"Uh . . ." Actually I'm kinda stumped on that one. "She was probably just doing loli things, I don't know!"
"Stareeeeeeeeeeeeee." My girlfriend eyed me down. "Well, I gave her a cute nickname too if you remember it."
"Wasn't it like 'Carne Asada' or something in Spanish?"
"Yeah, it means roast beef, but it's perfect since her family name is Asada anyway."
I could see anticipation oozing from Asagiri’s face, probably eager for me to inquire more. "Okay, what did you nickname everyone else then?"
"Three more nicknames!" She held three fingers up to my face as a passing bicyclist gawked at our dysfunctionality. "The emo-looking dude is Bags for those bags under his eyes, the big booba blondie is FiveHead for her huge forehead, and that cougar Kikuchi is Coochie."
"Somewhere in there is a defamation lawsuit waiting to happen."
“Their parents should send me money for upgrading their kid's names.”
"That's just blackmail, haha."
As we turned the corner and neared our home, I noticed someone’s silhouette sitting against our front gate.
"Hmm? Who's that?" Asagiri said, nodding towards the distant person.
My eyes squinted for a clearer view: a woman with short, silver hair and a beer can in hand appeared to be snoozing below our intercom device. Occasional snores escaped her mouth.
What in the living heck . . . “I-I think that’s Noriko.”
"Huh? Noriko?" Asagiri's shocked face widened. "What's she doing outside our house?"
I pulled out my phone and checked for new texts: nothing. "Guess there's only one way to find out."
We passed a lamppost that'd just started flickering on, and soon ended up in front of our modest, two-story house. The small gate separated us and the front door by a few meters. Laying against a brick post, Noriko in a blue-flannel shirt was snoozing soundly. The beer can in her hand was one of several scattered around her.
"Gimme a sec." I separated from my girlfriend and knelt in front of Noriko. "Uhhh, hello?"
"Snore, zzzzz, snore . . ." She stretched a bit before opening her eyes. "Kaaaazuma? Funny seeing you here."
"This is kind of my house," I chuckled. "Were you looking for me?"
"Oh, yeah!" Noriko lifted up a half-emptied pack of beer cans. "Was gonna surprise visit but no one was home, so I kinda waited out here and drank myself to sleep. Buurrrrrrp."
"Does your husband know you're here?" Asagiri behind me said in a passive-aggressive tone.
"Husband?" Noriko blurted. "Oh, uhhh, he's why I'm here! Yeah! We's had a big argument, so I don't wanna see him so here I am." She cracked open and chugged another beer.
"Do you have your phone on you?" I said. "Maybe you should text him where you are at least."
"Don't worry about him!" She brought another can to her lips. "I just need—I just need a break from stuff. Oh Kazuma, you're looking blurry, ugh . . ."
Noriko's head whirled around as her eyes strained to stay open. She started mumbling nonsense, clearly drunk out of her mind.
"Here, I'll get her inside." Asagiri walked by me and hoisted Noriko's arm up. "Open up everything for us, would you?"
I took out a set of keys from my pocket. "Yeah, hold on."
"Nuhhhh, uh, lemme get a smoke first, won't take long." Noriko reached into her handbag.
"No smoking or drinking around minors!" My 18-year-old girlfriend protested. "You gotta take care of your health anyway."
"Whocareasabouthealth . . . ughh." Her eyes clouded and she partially passed out, hanging her arm with little vigor around Asagiri.
How the mighty have fallen. "Sorry you had to see this side of her. She's not usually like this—er, sometimes."
"It's fine, hurry up. Her tits are half her weight."
I opened the gate and unlocked the front door, giving them a straight path into the house. "Head inside. I'm gonna clean things out here first."
*
"Nyaa?"
Cold water brushed over my hands as I washed off some stickiness. I'd just brought in Noriko's beer cans from outside, which coated my fingers with muck. Don't think she's realized I'm not a fan of drinking yet.
I turned off the kitchen faucet and dried my hands on a nearby towel. Furbolt below was circling around, more energetic than usual.
"Your queen came to visit us," I said. "She's probably upstairs if you wanna see her."
"Nyaa! Nyaa!"
Sounds of footsteps descending down the staircase echoed. Furbolt raced out towards the living room to investigate while I poured some orange juice into a glass.
"I let her sleep in my bed," Asagiri said as she walked into the kitchen. "She's gonna be knocked out for a while."
"Oh? First time she's actually passed out."
"Something like this happened before?"
I took a sip of my orange juice. "The details would bore you."
"No, as your girlfriend I think I'm entitled to know stuff like that." She leaned onto the marble countertop, giving a peek into her cleavage.
"You sure you wanna know?"
"Just tell me, idiot."
From the clear sliding door ahead, I gazed out onto our patio where me and Noriko caught up last month. I was mulling over things I should and shouldn't keep secret. Really though, what's been going through Noriko's mind this whole time? She's changed so much since we graduated. Did something happen? There were questions that eluded even me.
"After we got into a fight," I started, "we didn't talk to or see each other for like six years. Then randomly last year, she called and asked if I wanted to meet up again. At first I was kinda relieved, like we were finally ready to put the past behind us. But when we met again, I could tell she was a completely different person."
"How so?"
Images of death-obsessed Noriko flooded into my mind, alongside her contrasting personalities she selectively showcased. In retrospect, even this new laid-back mentality of hers was an upgrade over her previous self. But what brought upon such change? Did her husband have something to do with it? Was it just her way of moving on from old ideologies?
I had even more questions than Asagiri, but just as I prepared my reply to her, the phone in my pocket vibrated. A new text message had come in—from Noriko.
Huh? Isn't she knocked out? It was one simple sentence in her text, but it carried an air of animosity:
'Do not tell her what transpired in our pasts,' her text read.
Did she guess we'd chat about her right now? Or is she listening in from the stairwell . . . ? Miasmas of uncertainty swept over me, and I could feel a darkness irradiating from our distant hallway. It was just like when old Noriko would try proselytizing me into DeLightful ideals; an ever-encroaching perseverance of her dogmas.
Perhaps Mai's warning all those years ago wasn't just a bluff after all.
"Who was the text from?" Asagiri by the countertop asked. Her face looked concerned.
I rammed my phone back into my pocket. "J-Just some coworker asking if I could cover their shift tomorrow, yeah."
"Sus." She stared in my direction, as if trying to see through me. "Okay whatever. Keep telling me about Noriko then."
"O-Oh. I kinda exaggerated so don't worry about it. She just picked up smoking and drinking while we weren't in touch. That's all." You don't need to know she's a major cult's founder.
The resounding lie I gave was probably obvious, but it couldn't be helped. Disappointment already streaked across Asagiri's face as she slumped her head downwards. Then, her eyes raised to meet mine.
"Fine Nishikata, I trust you," she said. "So should I trust you not to mount Noriko while I go shower?"
"Don't see why not?"
She sighed and started heading for the stairwell. "Just . . . remember you can be open to me about anything. Please."
Why do you make it so hard to lie? I'm starting to hate myself. "Yeah, I'll cook something for us while you shower. Take your time."
With a final nod, Asagiri disappeared into the living room and went upstairs.
I waited for silence and then the sound of a shower running. There was something I needed to see.
My feet crept up the stairs, careful to avoid making any creaks. I felt alien in my own home, as if I was an intruder. But what was I guilty of? Wanting to learn the truth? To witness it with my own eyes? All I desired was closure.
Noriko—why come back into my life just to tell me you're a married drunkard now? Why ghost me a second time months after we started talking again? And why reappear just when my government-issued girlfriend moved in?
Was the old Noriko still buried somewhere deep within? Or was she expulsed for good that day on the bridge?
With caution, I turned the doorknob to Asagiri's room where Noriko slumbered. Drawn curtains blanketed the small room in darkness, but I still made out an angelic face sleeping on my girlfriend's bed.
Noriko was likely awake, and probably already realized I was here.
Even after everything we endured seven years ago, and all the isolation I suffered from her disappearance, entombed emotions inside me still whispered their lingering feelings for her. I loved Noriko back then, and I was willing to sacrifice everything to save her from herself.
Did I really succeed though?
From the doorway, my eyes traveled down her left hand, pausing over the diamond-studded ring around her finger. The matrimonial item was the only reason I hadn't tried rekindling old flames between us. She had found someone worth spending her life with—it wasn't my place to interfere.
My gaze started ascending her body until it finally reached her silver head resting on a pillow. Soft breaths were whistling out from between her lips.
Almost everything about her had changed in those seven years, but the same face I fell in love with didn't. Was I seeing the old Noriko though, or another incarnation? Were there still dueling personalities inside her? Or had one since won the war?
I leaned into the room to make sure.
And then her eyes opened.
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