Chapter 26: Nerd Shit

Sam felt the kiss of the autumn wind and smiled. It just felt right walking to the soccer field with a sword in her hand. She twirled Black Rose as she approached, hoping that things wouldn’t get too crazy.

This would be her first time using her new sword in battle; tonight promised to be fun, save for one little hiccup.

Carly’s little “Halloween Surprise”.

Obviously, Sam wasn’t wearing any costumes. That would just be embarrassing. Case in point, Mary. In a rare act of bravery her roommate had decided to be daring today, and actually dress up, wearing a thick wool sweater with a bunch of fluffy cotton balls taped to it.

“What?!” She demanded, noticing Sam staring at her. “I’m a sheep!”

It took everything Sam had to not burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Mary wailed. “I didn’t want to go as anything scary!”

Sam didn’t say a word. To her relief, when they arrived she saw that she wasn’t alone in choosing not to dress up. The first-years were probably too embarrassed, although she noticed Shannon was at least wearing some face paint.

Mike and Carly more than made up for the lack of effort from some of the other students. Sam actually had to do a double-take when she saw Mike, just to make sure she hadn’t walked onto the set of a Kurosawa movie. He was dressed in what she guessed were Japanese robes, and wearing special sandals. The only thing he was missing was an actual samurai sword.

Carly, on the other hand, was a lot more… well, just more. She wore black pants and a shirt, which would be fine, but also wore a bright red coat that reached her ankles. And unless her hair had grown considerably longer in the last week, she was wearing one of the fakest blonde wigs Sam had ever seen, tied in small braid behind her.

For a second, it wasn’t even clear that she was wearing a costume.

Carly brightened when she saw the two of them, and came over to say hi. “Nice costume, Mary! What are you supposed to be? A cloud?”

“I’m a sheep,” Mary smiled shyly. “And that’s… well, wow. I really like your costume.”

“…Why thank you,” Carly grinned, giving her a twirl. As she did, Sam noticed that there was something up with her right hand; it looked shiny. Upon closer inspection, she saw that Carly was wearing a black glove that looked like it had metal hot glued to it.

“What is that?” She blurted out, utterly confused.

Carly and Mary both stared at Sam in utter shock.

“How do you not recognize my amazing costume?!” Carly demanded. “I’m Edric! You know, the alchemist? From that one anime?”

“He’s super-popular!” Mary exclaimed.

Sam rolled her eyes. “…Of course. Nerd shit.”

“Philistine,” Carly scoffed. “Where’s your costume?”

“If I walked around campus dressed like you I would literally die. Pass.”

Carly stormed off in a huff and Sam winced. That was bad of her. She really should apologize when she got the chance.

“That was rude,” Mary scowled.

Great, and now Mary was chewing her out, too.

“Yo, Mary. Nice costume.”

Andy walked up with a black lipsticked smile and Mary turned to greet her before freezing in place.

“W-Wow…” She didn’t have any other words to describe Andy’s costume. She’d clearly gone full goth, dressing up as a witch, all black hat and dark makeup. But not just any witch, no, as the generous décolletage of her black gown revealed, she was a sexy witch, emphasizing her cleavage even more with a tight leather corset.

Mary didn’t really know how to process such a blatant outfit so she just smiled nervously.

“Brought your new sword, huh?” Any nodded to Black Rose with a grin. “Nice. Same with you, Mary?”

“Oh! Uh… yeah. It’s still a little heavy, though… and you’re using your new scythe too, huh?”

To complete the image of sexy dark witch, Andy had her scythe slung over her shoulder. She nodded eagerly.

“What about you, Sam? Mary here’s clearly a cotton ball-“

“I’m a sheep!”

“…Right. But what’s your costume?”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Not happening. Though I gotta say, your choice of outfit is very… daring.”

Andy shrugged, causing her boobs to bounce. “Hey, it’s Halloween. Or, well, it will be. Girl’s gotta look her best.”

Even someone as uninterested in romance as Sam knew exactly who the goth was dressing up for, and had a sinking feeling tonight was gonna get ugly.

“Least I’m not dressed up in nerd shit,” Andy added, nodding to Carly.

Mary scowled, and Sam mentally gave the goth a high five.

“Speaking of nerd shit, Mary, those too?” Sam asked, pointing past Andy at Josh and Jamie, who were walking onto the field.

Josh was wearing a long black trench coat and a black wig, and instead of his spear he was carrying two long swords, one black and one white. Jamie was wearing a red and white outfit to contrast his, with shoulderless sleeves and a red skirt. She also had a light brown wig that was so long it was comical and a white sword.

Mary sighed, deflating. “…Okay, yeah, that’s um… ‘nerd shit’, yeah… way more ‘nerd shit’…”

Andy’s expression soured, and she stormed over to them.

“…Mary?”

“Yes, Sam?”

“…Halloween is supposed to be about scary costumes, right?”

“…Yes, Sam.”

…

Tonight was one of the best turnouts Sam had seen for a while. She saw a lot of new faces, some in costume, some not. Even if not everyone had come today dressed up, it seems a few people had dropped in just to observe the ones who had.

Sam was actually getting excited, only to have that energy disappear in a second when she heard a familiar grating voice.

“Hey, Sammy!”

Growling under her breath Sam turned to see Cain walk up to her wearing a jolly grin and a long lab coat.

“It’s Halloween, Sammy, where’s your costume?” He asked innocently.

“None of your business. What do you want?”

“Oh, I just came by to say hello, showing off my costume.”

“What is it?” Mary asked. “A doctor?”

“That’s not very scary,” Sam sneered.

Cain sighed. “Oh, Sammy, you really don’t understand…” A look of resigned emptiness crossed his face. “…What’s really scary is medical school loans.”

A chill ran down her spine.

“Oh! Also, I came by to give you this.”

Cain tossed a small bag with a drawstring over to her. She picked it up and pulled it open to see a bunch of foam knives.

“…Huh?”

“Throwing knives. You seemed to be enjoying yourself when you used mine, so I made some for the club. You can use ‘em tonight if you like!”

Sam eyed his suspicious smile. No way that asshole was doing something nice for her.

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch at all!” He grinned. “…Well, I mean, Carly did say that she thought you should get into the spirit of things, though…”

Sam didn’t like where this was going.

“Here, a costume of your very own! Isn’t it just perfect?”

Wearing the biggest shit eating grin in the world, Cain presented her with a headband bearing a set of blonde-white cat ears.

Sam tossed the bag away and picked up her sword.

“…You need to run now.”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

Sam charged after Cain screaming bloody murder and Mary just sighed. Some things never changed.

“Mary!”

Her heart leapt in her chest and she spun around to see Daniel approaching her.

But then, some things did!

“H-Hi,” she managed to stutter out. They’d been dating for weeks now, and she still went all fluttery whenever she saw him.

“So this is the new spear you told me about?” He asked. She handed it over to him to admire.

“It’s, um… I-I based it on your sword,” Mary mumbled. “Is that weird? Sorry if you think that’s weird.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I’m actually kinda embarrassed myself,” Daniel admitted. For the first time, he noticed what Mary was wearing. “Oh, is that a Halloween costume? What are you supposed to be?”

“I’m a sheep,” she laughed. “I-I know it’s not the best costume… I mean, it’s not like I had much time, right? I’m too old for trick or treating and it’s not like I’m getting invited to any parties, so… I just threw it together after I got the email…”

“Yeah, same with me,” Daniel admitted. “I had to use one from last year.” Mary hadn’t even realized he was wearing a costume. She just thought that he’d dressed up nicely for some reason, but now that she thought about it, yeah, a suit and tied weren’t exactly normal for Boffer Club, huh? Same with that long jacket.

“So, uh… what are you supposed to be?” She asked curiously.

“Oh, I’m the Professor,” he clarified. “From that British sci-fi show.”

Mary gave him a blank stare.

“You know, the guy with the magic phone booth? He travels through time?”

More blankness.

“You’ve never heard of it?! Okay, we need to watch it as soon as possible! It’s such a great show! Okay, so, it originally started in the 60’s, right, but then there was a reboot, me personally I like the old one better, but the new one does have…”

Mary’s eyes began to glaze over as her boyfriend described his favorite TV show.

So this is what Sam meant by nerd shit huh…