Chapter 10: The Cave

It's been a few days since I came back. People started noticing that the most popular content about Mirage Oasis just suddenly stopped for no reason. many were confused but in the end, it didn't matter. Ultimately, the horrors we witnessed and the sacrifices we made didn't matter.

I walk through a familiar large chasm ending up intron of a rusted shutter door. I open it revealing a familiar armory. I take the rifle in my hand and place it into his gun locker. Looking back I always criticized his strength mostly because I had some respect for it. He was stronger than the three of us combined. Not only that he was smart both in wisdom and in basic intelligence. Thinking about it we really should have listened to him. This endeavor was not worth the price.
What Silicon said before, how it was kind that he tried to convince us to leave and not just went up and left. I think she was right, I think he cared about us in some capacity. 
All I can see now of him is his mutilated body replaced only by machinery. I close the shutter doors. and start walking. 

After a few hours, I end up at Silicone place. The door is unlocked, Silicon must have forgotten to lock it. I sit down where I usually sit, on the pile of sturdy boxes. Without Silicon, this place feels a lot more empty. It's almost as if a hole in the center of the room goes on forever. Everything is turned off, it feels dreadfully eerie. I stare at Silicon's empty chair as if I'm expecting it to hear her voice. 

Why did I leave her? I ask this question alone. Maybe it was a moment of incompetent cowardice or selfish greed. All those answers have some merit in being true. Most likely though maybe just be my ambition. I already had money, I had no debt with anyone, I just wanted more. In that moment of hell, I rationalized that I could get more if I got rid of her. Now I don't have anything. 

She was right though, about trying to be better. In the end, my ambitions were larger than my care for the one person that cared about me. I never saw the face she made as I flew away. but not knowing makes it hurt even more because the very mystery haunts me every day. Ever since coming back to earth, I have not spent a single penny on that job. Now that I think about it, why did I want the money in the first place? I'm not one of the big spender types, what was the big prize anyways? I don't even know. Whatever it was, it wasn't worth it.
No, it wasn't none of this was worth it. I have the money but I came back with much less than when I left.
Even about my family, she was right about that too. If they saw me they are ashamed. We made a promise to take care of her. All I did was use her what do I get? an empty room and a bank account with a bunch of useless zeros. I don't have anything worth anything.

I get up from the boxes and leave the room. I make sure I lock the door, even though no one lives here anymore I would rather have this place safe.

As I walk down the street the noises of the city still give me a headache. I cover my ears to soften the noise but the sound of Silicon asking for help rings in my ears. Nothing can cover up anything. 

I go back to that dark hallway with the crack on the wall. As I look for it see that they patched that crack up. 
That one beam of light that I loved to look at, that one beam of light that proved to me that there is something more to this world than what we have here. it's all gone, I threw it all away.

I stand in that dark hallway, waiting for a light to never come, Alone with nothing worth anything.