Something Isn’t Right Here

“Are you a fan of sweets, Kyashii?” Hana curiously asked as they munched on their snacks in a cafe. She picked up a cheesecake and citrus lavender tea, while Kyashii got strawberry pancakes with whipped cream, chocolate chips, and an iced matcha tea latte.

“Yeah… Sugary treats never fail to lift my spirits. I feel a craving for them.” Kyashii chuckled to herself as she devoured her pancake.

“I’m jealous; unlike me, you don’t put on weight from sweets. Mmm... But you know, some studies claim that a lack of love causes sugar cravings.” Hana smiled.

“Ehh?! I doubt it... I just love sweets, plain and simple. As I’ve already told you, I’m also not looking for love. Handling a relationship can be somewhat stressful, so I’m not quite ready to commit just yet. Besides, Yuyo is already stressing me out.” Kyashii frowned.

“Isn’t it amazing how you are constantly talking about Shibasaki-san, Kyashii?”

“It’s because she is a major source of stress in my life right now. She consistently bullied me during our lunch break!”

“But do you truly feel bullied?”

“Huh?!” Wait... Uhh… Do I? Kyashii hesitated for a moment. “O-Of course I am!”

My mind has been mulling it over for a while. I keep saying Yuyo is bullying me but is that really how it is?

Hana picked up on the pause. “Say, Kyashii, I’m just curious why you were so fixated on Shibasaki-san right off the bat when you met her?”

Ehh? Why is it again?

“Well, I think it’s the air of maturity around her since I’m clearly aware I’m childish myself. When I first met her, I remember thinking she was cool. But it turns out she’s nothing like that, hmmph!” Kyashii scowled. “But… If I’m being straightforward, I don’t even understand myself. Whenever I’m with her, I often seem to lose my sense of self. It’s no secret that my normal self is shy, but around Yuyo, I turn into someone I don’t even recognize.” She reflected fondly.

“You mean Shibasaki-san helps you reveal sides of yourself you don’t even know you have?”

“Yeah, I’d say that’s about right. I sometimes scare the living daylights out of myself because of the ridiculous things I do around Yuyo.” Kyashii giggled. “She has the unique ability to annoy and make me smile all at once. At times, I want to run away from her because I know she’s just going to make fun of me, but most of the time, I want to run to her for the simple reason I want to spend time with her. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Doesn’t it seem strange that a friend could make you feel that way?” Her sigh filled the air.

“I totally agree. Doesn’t it amaze you how Shibasaki-san can do wonders over your disposition?”

“Yeah… It does.”

“Mmm... But why can’t your other friends, including me, give you the same emotional roller coaster Shibasaki-san can?”

“Don’t ask me why. The answer to that question isn’t in my hands. But... Don’t you think it’s funny, Hana? Even though she can be mean to me, spending time with her makes me feel comfortable and happy.” Kyashii fixed her gaze on her plate as she fiddled with her fork.

“I don’t find it funny in the least, Kyashii. In fact, I think it is quite exceptional.”

“Yeah... That’s probably the best way to put it. I used to think these emotions could only happen to people who are in love. But everything I am saying right now makes me sound like I’m in love, but only with a girl, right?” Kyashii let out a brief laugh before holding her breath when a sudden sharp and solid thud hit her chest.

J-Just wh-what did I say?!?

Kyashii’s breathing became erratic as she slowly moved her gaze to Hana.

No… W-Waaaiitttt! Don’t panic, Kyashii… Hooohhh! Calm down!

She drew a deep breath. Something isn’t right here! This is not what I think it is! There has to be another explanation for this…

Yes, that’s right!

Kyashii clutches her chest tightly as she looks wide-eyed at Hana, who is smiling knowingly at her with hands cupped beneath her chin.

“Is anything the matter, Kyashii? I think you’re looking a little pale.”

“H-Hana…. Y-You… You’ve been w-watching me following Yuyo frantically at the outset, r-right?”

“Yes, you could say that. I don’t think that’s a terrible thing to do. Is it?” A broader smile is forming on Hana’s face.

That smile betrays more than meets the eye, and Kyashii isn’t sure if she should be pleased with the way things seem to be going for her. “No, it isn’t… A-And you’re asking me those questions because you’re... you’re c-curious about my f-fondness for Yuyo, is that it?”

“Is that really the question you wanted to ask, Kyashii?”

Kyashii’s discomfort is growing as a result of Hana’s cheeky smile. “N-No… But… A w-while ago, you said that you like w-watching girls like Mizuno-san. And you’ve been watching m-me too because… uhh… because you’ve been thinking I-I’m… I’m…”

Oh, my goodness!! What if I’m really...

No! This is a mistake, right?!

“You’re what...?” Hana is trying to shut down her giggle. Kyashii seemed to have finally figured out how they ended up here without much effort from her end.

“. . . . .”

Kyashii paused to collect herself before uttering the unsettling thoughts that had just ravaged her sanity. “You mentioned that you enjoy watching girls who are into girls. So, you… you were under the impression that I… I w-was i-into Yuyo ever since that day??” Her voice trembled as her heart hammered relentlessly in her chest.

Unggh! My chest hurts so much it feels like it’s going to burst! My emotions are all over the place!

Oh my gosh, how is this possible?!

But no, I’m not gay, am I?!? There’s no way I am, right?!

“What if I say yes, Kyashii? What will you do about it? Will you acknowledge or deny it?”

“O-Of course, I’ll deny it! That assumption doesn’t sit well with me! I’m not gay! I’m into guys, I guess.”

“You guess? Kyashii, you’re not totally convinced, are you?” Hana chuckled softly.

“Well, that’s because I haven’t had a boyfriend yet! But yeah... As far as I’m concerned, I’m straight! There isn’t a gay bone in my body! My feelings for Yuyo are purely platonic! I’m not seeing her in that light!” Kyashii’s denial was frenetic.

I’m not gay! Oh my gosh! I know myself, and I’m not! Hana’s assumptions will not sway me.

I don’t like Yuyo that way! That’s it!

“Oh yeah... Of course... Well, I guess I just went with my gut feeling... Nonetheless, if that’s what you realized, I must accept that as true, Kyashii.” Hana shrugged her shoulders. She continued drinking her tea with a sly smile on her face.

“Huh?!”

So that’s it?!

After bringing up such an explosive subject, she’ll act as if nothing happened?! What’s the matter with her?!

“Hey… Hana…” Kyashii knows she won’t be able to feel at ease if she doesn’t clear these things up.

“What is it?”

“W-Well, could you tell me what gives you the impression I like Yuyo that way?”

“Mmm... Basically, I noticed what seemed to be your odd fixation on her the first time we talked. I assumed you were just interested in becoming friends with Shibasaki-san, but your demeanor sent me a red alert.” Hanna grinned. “Moreover, you’ve already mentioned numerous compelling reasons. You noted that she sends you on an emotional roller coaster. That she has the ability to bring out sides of yourself that you didn’t know you had. And a sense of happiness and ease fills you when you’re with her. Do I need to say more?”

“Then again, we’re best friends, so I suppose that’s to be expected, right? It wouldn’t be out of place for a best friend to be like that, would it??”

“Do you remember feeling the same way with your closest friends in middle school?”

“Huh? Uhh…” Did I? “N-No… But that doesn’t mean I have any feelings for her. I mean… Oh my goodness! I can’t possibly like Yuyo that way!”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not into girls!”

“Eeh? Is that so?” Hana smiled.

“Yes!”

“Right... But anyway, you mentioned that Shibasaki-san’s coolness drew you to her, right?”

“Yeah…. And I mean that in a platonic manner!”

“Mmm... I don’t think Shibasaki-san is all that cool in all candidness.”

“Ehh?! B-But I think she’s really cool. I like that about her. And again, please keep in mind, in a platonic sense!”

Hana laughed. “Mmm... Well, I see Shibasaki-san as reserved and stoic, and that does not strike me as cool. Don’t you think she’s cool because you’ve liked her from the start?”

“Haah?! What do you mean by that? I don’t think I’m following it at all….”

“I’m saying that you don’t actually like her because she’s cool. Rather, she is cool in your eyes because you like her.”

“Whaaatt?! That idea is absurd to me! There are a lot of people in the school who think she’s cool, Hana. I’m not the only one who thinks that way about her, so that can’t be the case.”

“Ooh... Well, if you say so. However, I’m glad we even broached this topic, Kyashii. My guess is that this will be on your mind for a long time, right?”

“Not at all!”

“Really? Should you wish to know more about it and have some questions, you are welcome to borrow a yuri manga from my bag.”

Haaah!?

“I’m not interested in those! And why do you even bring those stuff to school?! Hana, you just weird me out.”

Hana chortled. “I need it for an emergency.”

“Ehh?! What could be so urgent that it needed a yuri manga?!”

“Mmm? How about in a situation like this?”

“You’re really annoying, Hana! You’re creating chaos in my head! Grrr… But fine! Please hand me that manga.”

“Ooh! You’re interested to read it?” Hana’s eyes twinkled with thrill.

“It’s just that I’m curious! That is not to say I accept the assumption of being gay. I will smash that false impression you have in me as soon as I read something like that!”

“Ohh~... I’m looking forward to that, Kyashii. Nevertheless, this manga story is pretty sure to resonate with you.” Hana handed Kyashii the manga with a huge grin.

“It’s a no-no! Count on me to destroy the image of me you have in mind, Hana. I say with certainty that nothing in this yuri manga will be talking the same language as me because I’m not at all interested in girls!”