Unconsciously

“Why is it that everything in this manga hits so close to home?! Gaaahhh!” Kyashii slammed the manga against her bed as she whined in frustration.

Oops! My bad, I totally forgot this isn’t mine.

Oh my gosh! Calm down, Kyashii!

It took her a while, but she’s finally halfway through the manga Hana lent her. While she’s surprised that she has made it that far in reading the manga, she’s equally frustrated that the main character’s telltale signs are very much like her own.

“No! This has to be a mistake! A fluke! Aargh!”

Still, I look forward to seeing how this story ends.

There’s a possibility that this girl will realize she isn’t really in love with her friend at some point! This kind of like is easily confused with friendship since it’s easy to blur the lines in this kind of emotional connection. There must be something that disconnects me from this character!

Hmph! What a dilemma.

Kyashii picked up the manga once more and read on, hoping to find some logical explanation for the unsettling thoughts that had been plaguing her mind.

“Kyashii! Morning...” Hana greeted Kyashii right after taking her seat.

“Morning…” Kyashii sluggishly returned Hana’s greeting.

“What happened to your eyes?”

Thanks to the manga she was reading so thoroughly last night, Kyashii failed to notice how late it was, ultimately making her eyebags puff up.

“Don’t ask me, Hana! Here! You can take this annoying manga back. I only managed to get dark circles in my eyes because it turned my head upside down!” A pout covered Kyashii’s lips as she handed Hana’s manga back.

“Does that mean my manga is to blame for those eyebags?” Hana’s face lit up with amusement.

“Go ahead and laugh all you want… But yes, it is!” Kyashii scowled as she flopped on her desk. It is not even mid-morning for her, and she already feels sleepy.

I wish I hadn’t read that manga. I’m more confused than ever, and to make matters worse, I’m eye-sore, plus I’m super sleepy!

“How was it? Did you find anything that might destroy my thoughts about that matter?” Hana’s tone is chaffing. She’s pretty confident Kyashii didn’t find any, though. All Hana wants is for Kyashii to understand her true feelings for Yuyo. Hana wishes Kyashii could see it for herself. She wouldn’t want her friend’s story to end the same way as the others she’d read. So, it’s Hana’s hope that Kyashii doesn’t make the same mistake as the girls in those stories who fail to recognize their attraction until it’s too late.

“Hmmph! I’d rather not talk about it. All I can think about right now is how worn out I am.” Kyashii remained hunched over her desk with her eyes closed.

“Yeah. That’s one lethargic look you’ve got, Kyashii.” Hana laughed.

“Haaah… I’m totally out of energy… It’s all your fault, Hana! Hmmph!” Kyashii groaned.

“Morning, Kyashii. Good morning, Nazumi-san.” Yuyo greeted the two as she passed by their seats.

“Ohh! Good morning, Yuyo!” Kyashii straightened up and made a glowing smile at Yuyo.

“Good morning to you, too, Shibasaki-san,” Hana casually greeted back.

“Hmm… What happened to you?” Yuyo stopped and stared at Kyashii for a moment.

“What?”

“What makes you disguise yourself as a panda mascot so early in the morning?” Yuyo can barely keep a grin on her face.

“Huh? Mascot? Panda?” Kyashii’s drowsiness seemed to impair her ability to keep up with Yuyo’s teasing.

“Ah… Kyashii, Shibasaki-san is probably referring to your eyebags.” Hana butted in with an uneasy smile at them.

“...Ohh!” Wait... Panda?! Kyashii shot Yuyo a glare right away. “Haaah?! How dare you compare me to a panda! I know they’re adorable, but comparing my eyes to theirs is brutal! I don’t even have that much dark around my eyes!”

Yuyo let out her laugh while shaking her head. “Heeh… Whatever you’ve been doing that has caused you to pull an all-nighter, I’m sure it has nothing to do with studying.”

“Shut up! I’m sleepy… Quick, get in your seat. Hmmph!” Kyashii slumped huffily back to her desk.

I’m confused. I felt more energetic after talking to Yuyo.

Is it possible that the sound of her voice lifted my mood because she actually had me excited to see her?

Unggh… Do I really like her?

“Haaah... I don’t feel like heading home yet...” Kyashii gathered her breath as she sat on an empty swing in the park near their school. The sheer volume of thoughts flooding her mind leaves her convinced she needs some time away from everyone, including Yuyo, to clear her head.

Listening to music through her earphones, Kyashii reflects on Yuyo’s presence in her life. She’s trying to figure out whether Hana’s viewpoints and everything she discovered from that yuri manga are relevant to her predicament. Up until this point, she isn’t ready to assume anything.

Thump!

“. . . .”

She hasn’t given much consideration to it yet, but even the mere thought of liking Yuyo makes her heart race a little bit. Gaahh! My heart, please, please stop pounding for the time being! You’ve been beating wildly since yesterday! Give me a break! Goossh!

So, okay... Could these weird feelings, like tightness in my chest whenever her body is close to mine, stem from liking her that way? That’s what those movies and that manga were actually trying to say, right?

Umm... Which means my... my body is unconsciously e-excited to have her near me?!

Ehh?!?

Kyashii cupped her cheeks as a blizzard of heat swept over her face. Oh my goodness! Wait... Did she just turn me into a pervert without either of us realizing it?!

“. . . . “

Nooo…. Hold on... That’s getting a little out of control.

Seriously, what am I thinking?! I’m jumping the gun here. Keep your focus on the decent details, Kyashii! She gave herself a light slap in an effort to calm herself as she leaned her head against the swing chains.

Haaah…

As I think back to when I first met Yuyo, I felt that nervousness when she was close to me, but I assumed it was completely natural because we were strangers. But since then, I've been frantically following her around, to the point where I've become a nuisance, right? It was even out of line for me to be frustrated when I thought she had forgotten about me.

For that reason, I thought she hated me since she was forthright with her reactions to me back then. I wrongly assumed she still holds a grudge and enjoys picking on me. I guess that's something she'll never change. And while she gets awkward at times whenever she does that, I still think she's pretty cool in that regard.

And… Even when I know she won't compliment me on how my hair has changed, I still wanted to show it to her first. At the same time, although it annoys me when she teases me, I've come to accept it as part of our dynamic and am no longer sure that I view it as bullying. But for all that, she may have her flaws, but sometimes I think they make her even more charming.

Kyashii clenched her chest in response to an intense tightening sensation. Ugh… It’s incredible how just thinking of her can stir up such emotional reactions in me. It almost makes me want to cry at the same time. This is just too much.

Am I... Do I really have this kind of feeling for her?

“. . . .”

Haaahh... I think I’ve sighed more today than any other day in my life.

As if to find the answers, Kyashii slowly raised her gaze toward the crimson sky. I wish I had answers to all the questions in my head. I haven’t gotten used to the idea yet. I’m not sure about this at all.

And in the wink of an eye, Yuyo’s smiling face pops up from behind, blocking Kyashii’s view of the sky.

Ahh... Yuyo…

Hmm... Has her movement ever been this slow before? Or do things around me just seem to be moving so slowly all of a sudden?

Kyashii can’t help but lock her eyes on Yuyo. She seems to be saying something since she’s moving her lips, but Kyashii can’t even hear any of it with her earphones. Ohh... A-And my heart started pounding again at the sight of Yuyo’s gentle smile and kind eyes. I’m feeling excited again now that she’s close to me...

Kyashii’s eyes blinked.

Hana… I’m afraid I’ve finally caught on to what you’re saying. Right now, it just came naturally to me.

You… Y-You were right all along...