Chapter 1:


Secretive Guild


He, Don, got slapped. The man who slapped Don then walked back to his seat and had a seat.

“Keep my girlfriend’s name out of your f*cking mouth!” the man said.

Oh, sh*t. Here we go again, Don thought. “Okay, okay,” he said as he wiped his forehead with his left hand. I’m glad I just got slapped. Hey, at least I’m still alive.

Don noticed that a woman in the front seat covered her left eye with her left hand. Then she pulled out her gun and pointed it at Don.

Are you kidding me?!



Hmm, Don thought as he looked at a ceiling from his seat. I got isekaied.

What kind of bullsh*t is this? There wasn’t Truck-kun, but I got shot by that silver-haired b*tch! And here I am without meeting a god. I want my smartphone, God damn it! He got nine f*cking wives because of that smartphone. Where is my blessing or whatever?!

Don rubbed his forehead and looked at the outside through a window in front of his seat. He saw horse-drawn wagons and a clipper ship near a harbor.

So I got isekaied into a f*cking steampunk world. Or Victorian. Or whatever, but not into the medieval era with a raccoon slave. Then how do I suppose to be happy in this world? No green spaces, no smartphones, NOTHING.

I was expecting to bang a hot chick in another world, but I guess that’s just delusional!

There was a notebook on the table in front of his seat, and some kind of incantation was written on it. There was also a flintlock gun on the floor near his seat, and something was rising, and it wasn’t the Hero of Shield.

This isn’t my original body for sure because there is no way my original d*ck can be this big. Oh, look at that, my god… AMAZING! Just thinking about those isekai waifus makes me hard!

Anyway, I guess the previous owner of this body committed suicide with that gun. There is blood on my right temple. He is right-handed alright. But this is quite a predicament, I cannot recall the previous owner’s memories.

Don took the notebook and read the incantation, “Blessings stem from the Ancient God. Blessings stem from the Ancient God. God, creator of Heaven and Earth, please hear my prayer. Please grant my survival through this night. Blessings stem from the Ancient God. Blessings stem from the Ancient God.”

Ancient God? Isn’t that implying there is more than one god? In the Victorian era, that’s just, Don thought and said, “bullsh*t.”


WHAT THE F*CK. Something pushed and threw Don backward to a wall behind him. Don saw that there was a door on top of the floor, and that door opened and welcomed Don to darkness.

He fell into darkness, and suddenly another door appeared and opened amid the darkness. Then there was another door, another door, and another door.

He felt a rough and inclined surface, so he rolled down, and after several doors, he entered a circular hall and hit a chair and table. “F*ck! It HURTS,” Don shouted.

He stood up and took a seat on a terrace. In that hall, there were sixteen similar terraces --- yes, those terraces were inside and in midair --- checkerboard floors, and large arched church windows that surrounded the hall and spanned from the ground to the ceiling. “Holy sh*t,” Don said as he observed the hall in awe, and he could see clouds through the windows.

THIS is what I was hoping for! Let’s assume that I’m the only one who knows how to enter this place. Yeah, you just need to recite an incantation and say “bullsh*t”. Isn’t this a cheat? I can escape easily. Bang some chicks, then escape!

Don was grinning as he realized that his transmigration wasn’t that bad. Now let’s see if I can do that thing, Don thought and shouted, “STATUS, OPEN!”

A transparent rectangular board appeared in front of Don, and some information was written on it:


Player’s name: Don ‘Big Dick’ Harvey (in Robert Frank’s body)

Level: 1

性别: 0    [+]

榴莲: 0    [+]

竿: 0    [+]

长袍: 0    [+]

西兰花: 0    [+]

香蕉: 0    [+]

胡椒: 0    [+]

Stat points left: 0





WHY THE F*CK ARE THE STATS WRITTEN IN MANDARIN? I cannot understand it, I’m not Chinese! Am I in a manhua world?! Don rubbed his forehead in confusion. Then he tapped the “MESSAGES” button, selected one message, and another transparent rectangular board appeared:

From: God (obviously)

To: Don Harvey (transmigrated)

Date: today!

Hey, hey! Welcome to isekai! Here is your bonus: free stat and skill points! Ehe!

Exercise the related activities to get more stat and skill points. Plus drink the related potions to get more skill points!

P.S. Sorry, I cannot contact you through other means! Because I already died! >< This is a scheduled message!

Stat points (x3)    Skill points (x3)


What kind of god says “Ehe!”?! Ah, whatever, Don thought and tapped the “CLAIM” button. The message board was closed, and it became “3” after “Stat points left:” on his status board.

Okay, the first stat is always Strength or Attack, right? So let’s assume that this is Strength, Defense, Magic, Magic Defense, um, Dexterity, Agility, and… Luck? Wait, is this T*ram Online?!

Also, I’m not that weak, so I assume zero point in Strength means that I can gain more Strength in this world, right?

Don rubbed his forehead again, and then he tried to lift his table with his left hand.

Okay, let’s assign one point to the first stat, Don thought. If my assumption is correct, then lifting this table must become easier. I can reset it anyway, so I can verify the stats one by one.

After Don tapped the “+” button beside the first stat and the "ASSIGN" button, he tried to lift his table again, and he felt the table was lighter. Yes! I’m correct. Now let’s reset it. Don tapped the “RESET” button, and another board appeared:

To reset your stat points, you have to tribute 1,600 pounds. Reset?

P.S. You can also shout or mutter it without opening your status board!


What?! I thought it was free! F*ck microtransactions! I hope this isn’t pay-to-win.

Let’s not be careless. I will assign more when it’s necessary and I have more information about other stats. Now let’s check the skills. Please, not in Mandarin! I beg you!

Don tapped the “SKILLS” button, and a transparent board appeared:



Hey, you! Wanna be strong as H*lk? Assign your skill points into this skill tree!


Wanna be an idol? TAP THIS, NOW! 100% guaranteed result!


Do you want to watch the world burn? Choose this skill tree!




Every man’s dream! Be invisible and take a peek!


F*ck. People don’t understand this.



Skill points left: 3


Who the hell wrote these ridiculous descriptions?! And of course, I’m gonna choose GOD SKILLS! Don thought and tapped the “GOD SKILLS” button. Thus, another transparent board appeared:


[God of Machinery and Whims]

Bring cyberpunk into reality!

[God of Justice and Love]

Kama S*tra! Seduce and control your enemies!

[God of Fictions]

Are you a #writer?




Hmm… Let’s see about “God of Machinery and Whims”. Don then tapped the “God of Machinery and Whims” button, and another board appeared:


The basics of robot and cyborg making! Bring WALL-* into reality!


(The first branch)


Unlocking conditions: CYBERNETICS at level 10, do a push-up 30,000 times, and drink the Muscle potion.


Unlocking conditions: CYBERNETICS at level 10, kill 10 people, and drink the Punk potion.


(The second branch)

… (omitted)

Skill points left: 3


Don heaved a sigh. Sh*t, this is difficult. Which one is the OP skill tree? There are so many skill trees! However, I’m glad I don’t have to farm monsters. But, potions?

Don went back to his status board and noticed that he got a new message, so he opened the message:

From: God (actually, I’m The Goddess of the Titan Empire, Hazel!)

To: Don (sorry, I’m lazy to type your full name! ><)

Date: after he opened the previous message!

As a transmigrated person, you already have some maxed god common skills! Those are [Apostle Gacha] and [Revelation].

GOD COMMON SKILLS doesn’t have any branches. It’s just a bunch of vital skills for your God activities!

So, do you want to try [Apostle Gacha]? It will bring some random people to your Garden! Yes, that hall! Make them your apostles and guide (force) them to do your bidding! (Whatever it is, you are the god!) Don’t worry, you will get at least an SR apostle candidate! Because the skill is already maxed!

P.S. As with other commands, you can just shout or mutter the skill’s name to use it!


Hmm… there is no harm in trying, right?

Thus Don tapped the “TRY” button.


The Mandarin characters are arbitrary, they don’t have to be in Mandarin, but they must be cryptic.
Ernest Howard in the Cover Image of "Secretive Guild"

Secretive Guild

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