world of make believe

I was at the rooftop silently staring at the blank page of my notebook. I couldn’t stop thinking what had just happened yesterday

I started to write down my thoughts:

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I bet every one of you has an ideal of a perfect boyfriend not just those some of stupid classmates or anything but my imaginary crush is out of this world. he’s too perfect to exist such imperfect called reality .then suddenly...he appeared, the perfect crush Cecilion Reize he was like someone who would only exist in novels imagine him comforting me treating me nicely complementing me ……i just love daydreaming ....and day before yesterday, cecilion was doing it all for me however....he rejected me

I decided to join the literature club where...euphimia...the literature club president is my role model,im so proud of her and i want to be like her someday and after all my hard work i finally became the vice president of literature club. And since euphimia is from music department and the club room is in the general department- i would often left alone

i sigh as i walk down the stairs alone to the club room and when i reached the door and gently twisted the knob open when i saw euphimia silently sitting near the window quietly staring at space

I’m so lucky breathing the same air as her....

pres!''i slightly open the door where my eyes on shock to see a familiar guy sitting in the window still beside euphimia i immediately covered my mouth. Good thing they didn’t heard me what are they talking about....i wonder as i carefully step away from the door and put my ear close to door trying to get some good hearing

"I don’t care about them. Annoying at bushtit" a familiar voice said in a cold said "they’re waste of my time"I peeked to take a close look.

It was a dark figure crossing its arms and was leaning its back against the wall in front of euphimia .my eyes widened when I started to take a closer look

"Really? Off topic but I heard from Lesley you drop here yesterday.is that true?"

"Yeah Gabriel told me to do so" cecilion responded “That woman is getting in my nerves" he added as he let out a deep sigh

"You mean lesley? What did she do?" I legs starts to tremble and i feel like i was about to vomit as feel anxiety thought my body.

Are they talking about me?

"Trying to persuade someone by saying things that are not true: she’s bullshitting me! “I step backwards again...is he talking about the confession i made day before yesterday? I felt disappointment and sadness but what’s not true about what ive said? Is cecilion disgust on me? Seeing cecilions dark side is something i don’t want to see and he doesn’t want others to see

it will only cause misery dark side part of the self that lies hidden in the shadows of our personality. We are often surprised to learn that it exists and it is usually a part of ourselves that we would rather deny – a sort of motived forgetting. The problem is that it pops up when we least expect it and has unintended effects in the way we think, feel and act, often unconsciously.

It’s not cecilions fault right? I felt tears building up in my eyes that would fall down any minute by now

"Is that so?"euphimia responded with her usual blank tone which brought me back to reality

“I guess you’re right “my eyes widened in shock from what I just heard as a book flip closed "You are bullshitting me cecilion " Euphimia said and calmly took a sip of from a cup of tea

Not being able to process the embarrassment I just had felt the regret I felt by making that decision that day made me step away from the door Running away against the world

"Did euphimia stand up for me?"well,i dont know anymore

What had just happened?

To be continue