Chapter 4:

4: Spilled Milk

I was Born the Unloved Twin

The good thing about being a baby is all the sleep you can get. I would never be able to sleep in so much at home, even on my days off! Not that it's an issue anymore...I don't have to report to work anymore. Bookmark here

The con of that is that is this body is constantly tired and needs all the sleep. I can't force myself to stay awake even if I wanted to. When I'm tired it's time to drift off and knock out. This is the body of a recently born infant. Bookmark here

Well, that's no issue for the current me. I'll gladly accept all the naps at every possible hour. However, I died I'm pretty sure I was heavily sleep-deprived at the time. Bookmark here

I have my own room, the nursery I believe. It's luxuriously decorated, far too much for any person. Blurry details are clear enough for me to see that much. A normal baby wouldn't even be able to appreciate it, how wasteful. But the room has tall windows that lets in good sunlight when the curtains are open, so there's that. Bookmark here

I sleep primarily in what I'm sure is a gorgeous vintage style bassinet, complete with sheer drapery. With enough crying and motioning, I have gotten it stocked completely with pillows and soft things to the point it resembles a fluffy little nest. Bookmark here

My comfort is most important here after all. Bookmark here

Unlike the first couple times I woke up alone, there is now often a nurse or a maid, or both, around checking up on me. Either they finally got enough sense together to assign people to me or my crying worked. Bookmark here

It's nothing to brag about but I've been called a very well behaved baby. Sure I'm quite loud when I cry but I tend to avoid that unless it's absolutely needed. Even then it's only to get attention to a sufficient point.Bookmark here

I even make easy to understand universal gestures to my maids, such as patting my mouth or stomach when hungry. Other ....signs for when my nappy needs to be changed. Or at least I try to.Bookmark here

It's uncomfortable having no control but it can't be helped, I'm a baby after all. I won't worry too much about it, it's not embarrassing if you don't think too hard about anything.Bookmark here

That includes breastfeeding. Have they not heard of bottles of formula here? Apparently not. Must I really be fed solely by wet nurses? It's natural and good for me, full of fat and nutrients, I know that. But it's the principal of the matter.Bookmark here

Just don't think about it, don't think. Bookmark here

I close my eyes and concentrate primarily on my hunger to get by feeding time. It's actually quite tasty on its own. Bookmark here

"What a healthy drinker she is! I think we barely have enough wet nurses for this one."Bookmark here

Lies, there are five distinct wet nurses on rotation to feed me. There's no way I can drink that much, but I do appreciate the ready supply. Don't let me starve here! Bookmark here

Over time I've come to recognize my most regular maids by their gossips. I'm usually with Ms. Gerta and a wet nurse but the young maids A, B and C are often tagging along. I'm sure they're clearly different people with their own names but I just can't tell them apart, thus their nicknames. Bookmark here

"Shame the littlest one keeps throwing up her milk."Bookmark here

"Lady Maria insists on feeding the baby herself, milk of the mother and all. But it doesn't seem to be helping."Bookmark here

"Oh the poor thing!"Bookmark here

"Lady Maria isn't doing too well herself, she's running sick with worry."Bookmark here

"If only your sister a bit more like you ya little piglet. The wet nurses all rave about you despite you sucking them near dry."Bookmark here

Yes yes yes I'm an adorable healthy little piglet. A fat baby is a cuter baby. Just don't slack off while gossiping any time soon, I refuse to be ignored and starved. The memories of a neglected childhood honestly disturb me quite a lot. Bookmark here

It sounds like due to health reasons Lilyanne and I are sleeping separately.Bookmark here

That's a little odd since in my memories of our childhood we always shared a room. Unless she was down with a serious fever of course. Then she was sent to what I could call the hospital. We had what could be called doctors, personal physicians, on-call more often than not. Bookmark here

It did happen a few times though.Bookmark here

Since she was born so weak she keeps spitting up her milk. That's not good for a growing baby.Bookmark here

I know she'll grow up to be fine, though delicate, eventually but it's still worrisome.Bookmark here

While I was jealous of her receiving so much attention and missing out on boring lessons back then, it's clear to me now that it must have been a very awful time for her. She may have been so naively foolish to that extent after being as isolated and sheltered as she was. If not, she may not have fallen so stupidly hard for that horrible ma...ah let's not think about that now. Bookmark here

It's a very long way off timeline wise.Bookmark here

Alright then, I've decided that for the short term the goal is to get Lilyanne's health up.Bookmark here

The stronger she is the more she can experience. The house was always livelier when she was feeling healthy anyways. Who knows maybe she'll get smarter by making it to more lessons? I may have loved her but wow what an airhead.Bookmark here

While I've been eating and sleeping merrily she's been weakly having fits and crying a lot according to my gossipy maids. With not eating properly she must be feeling hungry and deprived all the time. Hungry sleeps are not good sleeps. So step one is to get her to drink down her milk, which will lead to a more restful time and hopefully a healthier child. Bookmark here

Our mother seems to be breastfeeding Lilyanne personally. A mother's own milk is the best, sort of mentality. Bookmark here

Not to be rude to my own mother here but she's such a frail lady. I have a hard time imagining how much milk she can even produce.Bookmark here

Since we can afford to keep all these wet nurses on hand I wonder if they ever tried to feed her. Unfortunately, it's nothing I can help at the moment. I can't exactly get around on my own yet. Nor can I speak. That would be frightening if I could though.Bookmark here

"Alright that's enough Dolly, stop the feeding early today. We shall bring her to Lady Maria's room."Bookmark here

"Now? But Ms. Gerta our lady couldn't possibly feed both. She's far too wea- I mean pardon the birth just was so much of a burden on her. And our lady was always a delicate woman."Bookmark here

Ha, called it. Mother is weak. But wow an opportunity is here right away. I didn't even have to lift a finger, which I can control decently well now. Take those motor skills. Bookmark here

"-Especially since this sweet little piglet can eat so much."Bookmark here

Excuse you, I'm beginning to get tired of being compared to a piggie. I have a perfectly healthy appetite for someone my age. I'm a splendid couple weeks old after all.Bookmark here

"That's why we've fed her plenty just now. Besides, it would do our Lady good to see her eldest. She did well to give birth to such a healthy child after all."Bookmark here

"Well then Gerta, give me a tad more time with our little glutton here. Just in case."Bookmark here

"Yes, it might encourage her to have a full feeding with Rosalia here."Bookmark here

"What a good girl, her eyes are so bright it's almost as if she could understand us."Bookmark here

Very good observation maid B, I do understand you and all your nonsense. I may have to reevaluate my opinion of you if you keep it up. Bookmark here

After I'm at a comfortable fullness the maids and everyone get into position for their usual little parade and march me off to mother's room.Bookmark here

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