Chapter 4:

4: Spilled Milk

I was Born the Unloved Twin

The good thing about being a baby is all the sleep you can get. I would never be able to sleep in so much at home, even on my days off! Not that it's an issue anymore...I don't have to report to work anymore.

The con of that is that is this body is constantly tired and needs all the sleep. I can't force myself to stay awake even if I wanted to. When I'm tired it's time to drift off and knock out. This is the body of a recently born infant.

Well, that's no issue for the current me. I'll gladly accept all the naps at every possible hour. However, I died I'm pretty sure I was heavily sleep-deprived at the time.

I have my own room, the nursery I believe. It's luxuriously decorated, far too much for any person. Blurry details are clear enough for me to see that much. A normal baby wouldn't even be able to appreciate it, how wasteful. But the room has tall windows that lets in good sunlight when the curtains are open, so there's that.

I sleep primarily in what I'm sure is a gorgeous vintage style bassinet, complete with sheer drapery. With enough crying and motioning, I have gotten it stocked completely with pillows and soft things to the point it resembles a fluffy little nest.

My comfort is most important here after all.

Unlike the first couple times I woke up alone, there is now often a nurse or a maid, or both, around checking up on me. Either they finally got enough sense together to assign people to me or my crying worked.

It's nothing to brag about but I've been called a very well behaved baby. Sure I'm quite loud when I cry but I tend to avoid that unless it's absolutely needed. Even then it's only to get attention to a sufficient point.

I even make easy to understand universal gestures to my maids, such as patting my mouth or stomach when hungry. Other ....signs for when my nappy needs to be changed. Or at least I try to.

It's uncomfortable having no control but it can't be helped, I'm a baby after all. I won't worry too much about it, it's not embarrassing if you don't think too hard about anything.

That includes breastfeeding. Have they not heard of bottles of formula here? Apparently not. Must I really be fed solely by wet nurses? It's natural and good for me, full of fat and nutrients, I know that. But it's the principal of the matter.

Just don't think about it, don't think.

I close my eyes and concentrate primarily on my hunger to get by feeding time. It's actually quite tasty on its own.

"What a healthy drinker she is! I think we barely have enough wet nurses for this one."

Lies, there are five distinct wet nurses on rotation to feed me. There's no way I can drink that much, but I do appreciate the ready supply. Don't let me starve here!

Over time I've come to recognize my most regular maids by their gossips. I'm usually with Ms. Gerta and a wet nurse but the young maids A, B and C are often tagging along. I'm sure they're clearly different people with their own names but I just can't tell them apart, thus their nicknames.

"Shame the littlest one keeps throwing up her milk."

"Lady Maria insists on feeding the baby herself, milk of the mother and all. But it doesn't seem to be helping."

"Oh the poor thing!"

"Lady Maria isn't doing too well herself, she's running sick with worry."

"If only your sister a bit more like you ya little piglet. The wet nurses all rave about you despite you sucking them near dry."

Yes yes yes I'm an adorable healthy little piglet. A fat baby is a cuter baby. Just don't slack off while gossiping any time soon, I refuse to be ignored and starved. The memories of a neglected childhood honestly disturb me quite a lot.

It sounds like due to health reasons Lilyanne and I are sleeping separately.

That's a little odd since in my memories of our childhood we always shared a room. Unless she was down with a serious fever of course. Then she was sent to what I could call the hospital. We had what could be called doctors, personal physicians, on-call more often than not.

It did happen a few times though.

Since she was born so weak she keeps spitting up her milk. That's not good for a growing baby.

I know she'll grow up to be fine, though delicate, eventually but it's still worrisome.

While I was jealous of her receiving so much attention and missing out on boring lessons back then, it's clear to me now that it must have been a very awful time for her. She may have been so naively foolish to that extent after being as isolated and sheltered as she was. If not, she may not have fallen so stupidly hard for that horrible ma...ah let's not think about that now.

It's a very long way off timeline wise.

Alright then, I've decided that for the short term the goal is to get Lilyanne's health up.

The stronger she is the more she can experience. The house was always livelier when she was feeling healthy anyways. Who knows maybe she'll get smarter by making it to more lessons? I may have loved her but wow what an airhead.

While I've been eating and sleeping merrily she's been weakly having fits and crying a lot according to my gossipy maids. With not eating properly she must be feeling hungry and deprived all the time. Hungry sleeps are not good sleeps. So step one is to get her to drink down her milk, which will lead to a more restful time and hopefully a healthier child.

Our mother seems to be breastfeeding Lilyanne personally. A mother's own milk is the best, sort of mentality.

Not to be rude to my own mother here but she's such a frail lady. I have a hard time imagining how much milk she can even produce.

Since we can afford to keep all these wet nurses on hand I wonder if they ever tried to feed her. Unfortunately, it's nothing I can help at the moment. I can't exactly get around on my own yet. Nor can I speak. That would be frightening if I could though.

"Alright that's enough Dolly, stop the feeding early today. We shall bring her to Lady Maria's room."

"Now? But Ms. Gerta our lady couldn't possibly feed both. She's far too wea- I mean pardon the birth just was so much of a burden on her. And our lady was always a delicate woman."

Ha, called it. Mother is weak. But wow an opportunity is here right away. I didn't even have to lift a finger, which I can control decently well now. Take those motor skills.

"-Especially since this sweet little piglet can eat so much."

Excuse you, I'm beginning to get tired of being compared to a piggie. I have a perfectly healthy appetite for someone my age. I'm a splendid couple weeks old after all.

"That's why we've fed her plenty just now. Besides, it would do our Lady good to see her eldest. She did well to give birth to such a healthy child after all."

"Well then Gerta, give me a tad more time with our little glutton here. Just in case."

"Yes, it might encourage her to have a full feeding with Rosalia here."

"What a good girl, her eyes are so bright it's almost as if she could understand us."

Very good observation maid B, I do understand you and all your nonsense. I may have to reevaluate my opinion of you if you keep it up.

After I'm at a comfortable fullness the maids and everyone get into position for their usual little parade and march me off to mother's room.