Carnelia called Pablo for a personal talk. “…it’s taking them a while,” Seril said. “Yeah. And Jackie is about to finish our sweet potatoes snack,” Kyshanne said. “Shut up, I’m hungry! I skipped meals just finishing potions!” Jack replied while eating sugared sweet potatoes. “Fine. Just make sure you left some for the two.”
“Shouldn’t you know where Carnelia planned to go, or what she was planning, Xadulo?” Deneb asked her. “Nah, I can’t,” it shook the four. “Unlike everyone else, Carnelia’s body doesn’t even have a heart, so I can’t read her as well as I can with ya guys. But I can still observe her expressions… which is hard even for someone like me,” Xadulo explained. “So, we’ve got no lead?”, “Well, if they chose it to be personal, then let’s not interfere.” Deneb said.
“…What?! She’ll die?!” Pablo said almost shouting. “No one could ever kill her, right!? No one has the power, not even you! What’s this… some kind of joke? Or maybe you saw a dream you felt it’s too real?!” Carnelia didn’t reply immediately. “…she said it herself”, “Huh…?” Carnelia faced Pablo. “You’re right. No one can kill Xadulo… aside from herself”, “…! Don’t tell me, she’s planning suicide?” Pablo’s voice became softer and fragile.
“Is she curious what it’s like in the other side or something?!” Pablo said as a joke, not even thinking what he was saying. “…yes. Something like that,” Carnelia said in her usual tone. Pablo froze. “Then what now…? What are we gonna do… what will happen to the group without her?” his voice was very weak. Carnelia came close and rested her forehead on Pablo’s chest. She told everything to Pablo.
“This one, mistress…” Carnelia pointed the 3rd wish on the list. “Does this say you’ll depart first before your eyes will be turned into stones?”, “Of course! If I’d be the one to do it, it’s not like I’ll see it anyway. I’ll have you gouge them out and turn them into stones after I drop dead,” Xadulo explained.
“I wonder~! If I die, will I go to the heavens or hell? If I go to hell, will I be their first angel?!” Xadulo asked cheerfully, curiously. “The very first demon was a fallen angel, mistress. Also, you’re not even an actual angel, it’s just a public name the people gave to you”, “Aw. That’s boring~”
“If I reached that place, will I meet the ones I killed? Will my memory remain, or will disappear? Will my power disappear as well? Will I actually be equal to everyone else!? Hey Carnelia, what do ya thiiiiink??” she was very curious, and at the same time, excited for her death.
“Aren’t you scared, mistress?”, “Huh? Why would I be? I’ll come back. Whether I like the afterlife or not, I’ll surely come back!” she was the careless girl, killing as if life didn’t have value. And just to satisfy her curiosity, she’ll do anything. Even if it costs her life.
"Trace my footings and find the losts, will you please?"
“…once she’s gone, you guys will make her eyes stones as your memento,” Carnelia said. “… ‘you’? ‘your memento’…? Why… are you excluding yourself?” Pablo asked. With her forehead buried in his chest, he couldn’t see her face. But he guessed that Carnelia was crying. “…yeah, right. I’m excluded…” even her voice became shaky for a bit. Pablo grabbed her shoulders and pulled her off his chest to confirm the tears falling.
“I don’t understand a goddamn thing… at all…!” Pablo said after seeing her face. A supposedly emotionless creature was crying. Her eyes reflected pain. Her voice said her feelings. A demon who never should have had emotions. “I’m sorry… but I can’t stop her. Her wishes are my command. I… can’t oppose her. I apologize… for such lose you’ll have, and I know… it’ll be hard for the five of you without her…” Carnelia bowed her head, sincerely apologizing. “But…! I… can’t keep this in forever… I can’t lie about this is hardest for me…!”
Carnelia felt weak. Her legs might fail her any second. Pablo’s hold of her is the only thing supporting her balance. “I… can’t… lie about it. I’m the one who’ll suffer most because of this!”, “Carnelia…” she came close again, grabbed Pablo’s hood below the shoulders, and once again buried her face in his chest.
“Why… I did everything for her… I spent my life here supporting her… I went as far as deleting my sense of emotions just so that she will gain her friends’ attentions, and I won’t— you’ll see me as boring… I opposed hell and refused to come back even if it calls me - just to be by her side… I always left the group not to rest, but to terminate danger around her so that she’ll enjoy herself and not worry about safety… everything!” she cried even louder. “Everything that I did in my whole life… was for her to enjoy her life, to preserve her life… yet she’s the one choosing to die…” she became quiet for a while.
“…I’m sorry. For thinking we felt more than you ever did…” Pablo said, as his heart aches. Carnelia raised her head and wiped the tears. “When Xadulo dies, I’ll be forced to come back to hell, and I can never leave again. My body is nothing but a copy of the original, and will soon disappear after the producer dies,” Pablo couldn’t speak in shook. “She said she’ll die tomorrow…” Pablo didn’t want to accept it. ‘If this is my last chance to talk to you alone, then i want you to know this feeling I have for you…’
--But in the end, he couldn’t say it.
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