CHAPTER 7.5: CONGRATULATIONS AND A WARNING

***The Dupree Palace…***

While her official residence lay several leagues away from the Duchy of Maverny, the Human Saint always made it a point to visit Kuro every weekend. Along with her, Lily and Lady Henristone would come as well, though the others, like the Queen Jessica or Prince Hurion, would occasionally hitch a teleport ride to the fief.

As such, there was never a dull moment in the palace. Like for that one time…

“Kyaaaa!!!” The scream came not from the ladies that were staying, but rather, from the lord himself. “For fuck’s sake, Your Holiness!” Kuro quickly got out of the room as soon as possible, “Wear a damn dress, even when you’re in your room!”

“Hey,” the Lady Hinwe defended herself. “This is my damn room! My private space! It’s you who didn’t knock in the first place!”

“I knocked! It’s you who won’t open your room, so Lady Meanor and I thought something happened to you inside!”

The Elf Saint looked at her maid, who stood beside Kuro with a set of keys in her hand. Behind them, were the group of the Maddie, Lily and the Lady Henristone. All of them stared at her, dumbfounded at the state of her messy room. “Oh, hello Your Holiness,” she greeted her human counterpart as if nothing happened. “Welcome back!”

“I always tell her to avoid slacking,” Meanor explained to Lily, as she knew the Head Maid of the Holy Palatial Gardens wouldn’t stand looking at her mistress’ clutter.

“Anyway, what do you want, Kuro?” the Lady Hinwe pulled some random clothes on the floor and put it on herself. She teased, “You may look now, virgin boy.”

However, it was Maddie who spoke. “Greetings, Your Holiness!” she flashed her usual smile, though as the people who knew her much, Kuro, Lily and the Lady Henristone were aware that the Human Saint’s oozing with bloodlust. “Once again, we visited to check on your well-being, and to say our congratulations!”

“Hmm?” the Lady Hinwe stopped from whatever she was doing and faced her visitors. “Congratulations for what?”

Kuro then brought out a copy of her ‘An Instruction to Farming’ manga. “The readers liked your work,” he revealed. “While most Cherseans have low literacy levels, they say that they clearly understand your drawings.”

“And they liked the cute designs!” Maddie added.

“…” the Elf Saint was silent, though surprise was written all over her face. Soon enough, her cheeks were red and she kept on fidgeting.

“So, uh, the Lady Madelaine wishes to personally send her congratulations to you,” Kuro continued.

“Do you hear that, milady?” Meanor was elated. “Everyone likes your work!”

“Yes…” the Lady Hinwe’s voice was soft, and though she avoided looking at the others, everyone could tell that she was happy with herself.

“And so…” Maddie and Kuro exchanged glances before she continued, “…I was talking with the Lord Kuro if I can commission you for more similar stuff like this, Your Holiness.”

“Eh?”

The Human Saint nodded, “You see, my background is that of a duchess, so I have no experience in farming. As such, whenever I want to help my subjects—the humans—regarding the food security of Chersea, I have no idea of what to do. I thought these manuals you’ve written may bring additional knowledge to our farmers.”

“I…” the Lady Hinwe admitted, “…most of the knowledge written in those came from the books written by demon scholars, though! Well…I added some of my personal knowledge, since we elves are more attuned with nature than the others.”

“And that’s why we think it’s the best article there is, on farming,” Maddie reiterated. “Combining demon efficiency and elvish wisdom on nature, and we might attain our realm’s food security. Surely, this won’t be the first and the last book you’ll write, don’t you think, Your Holiness?”

“Of course!” was the Elf Saint’s immediate answer. “Honestly, I got a lot more in store! I plan to have at least 20 volumes of tankobon with that!”

Kuro whispered something to Maddie, then she said, “Ah, right! Yes, 20 tankobons more…I presume it’s your knowledge of farming?”

“Farming is complex; aside from just planting, there are other disciplines related to it. So, it’s inevitable that there are lots of topics to cover! Those numbers I mentioned are just the basics!”

“I want them all in your manga! Please create those!”

“I will!”

“So, what are your terms, then? What should we pay you?”

“All the figmas I want!” the Lady Hinwe blurted out. “And I’d like to have a dakimakura of all the characters on this list!” She pulled a piece of paper from one of the pockets of her robe and handed it to the Head Maid.

Meanwhile, while she continued to spout foreign terms, Maddie looked to Kuro for an explanation, which he did through his mind. Soon enough, there were a lot of demands the Elf Saint piled up, like anime chest pins, printed shirts, mouse pads, folders, and other similar merchandise, much to the others’ amazement.

“Oh…” the Lady Hinwe realized she was carried away. “I’m sorry; I guess I should demand less.”

“No! No!” Maddie stopped her, “I’m sure we can get you those.”

“Right!” Kuro added, “Those and we’re still going to pay you with money as well.”

“Are you…sure this is not overpaying me?”

The duke shook his head. “We have to match your talent, so we agree to your terms. Let me just get some paper and sign a contract for this, okay?” Kuro then excused himself and left the Human Saint’s group with the Lady Hinwe and Meanor.

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Now that they were alone in the room, the pleasant atmosphere suddenly turned once again. Just as the Elf Saint—elated with the turn of events—went back to her bed, she felt the iron grip of the Human Saint on her arm.

“Milady,” Maddie’s usual smile was giving off a dreadful vibe. “I believe we have something to talk about.”

Remembering her experience back at the Mouth of Calabria’s Holy Consulate, the Lady Hinwe knew that something sinister was about to happen. So, she quickly looked for Meanor…

“…”

But much to her surprise, her maid had already taken the side of her ‘enemies’. So, it was with great resignation that she asked the Human Saint about their topic.

“It’s about Kuro.”

Yep, she guessed it right.

“There are two things I wanted to tell you,” Maddie said, flashing the corresponding finger count. “First, you got to tell me how you can be so much of a slacker and yet maintain a great figure.”

“Eh?” the Lady Hinwe replied with an awkward smile. “I just take a bath much often?”

“I also do it!” Maddie insisted, also pointing to her companions, “They are also doing it! But why is your skin so…pretty?”

“I…I don’t know?”

“Hrmm…perhaps it has something to do with your god-power, don’t you think?”

“I guess so? I’m bathing with my god-powers, after all.”

“Then, will you please help us too?”

“For Kuro?”

Maddie, Lily and the Lady Henristone nodded.

“And…” the Lady Hinwe was more comfortable now. “What’s the second thing you wanted to tell me?”

The Human Saint puffed her chest and declared, “I’m Kuro’s first wife, and Lily’s the second. The Lady Henristone will be the fifth.”

“And…?”

Maddie then pushed the Lady Hinwe on the bed, in a ‘kabedon’-like manner that the Elf Saint never expected, much to her pleasant surprise. “If you want to get in his harem, don’t steal a march on us by getting naked while I’m not around.”