Killing zombies AT 3 AM (gone WILD) 100% REAL

Haruhi patted the dried blood off her hair. Honestly, the things her classmates threw at her, this wasn't a horror book! She couldn’t do much about the gum in it. In the mirror her eyes caught the decomposing body in the corner inching closer.

She kicked its head off.

It definitely stopped moving now.

She looked at herself into the soap scum stained mirror. She really needed to disinfect her shoes and get a cute haircut. Pulling out everything she needed out of her beaten down backpack she got to work. Shoes sparkling clean, hair styled in irregular bangs and a side ponytail shorter than the rest of her hair. Finished by wiping the mirror and letting the cuttings go down the drain.

Her blue eyes stared back at her. She shot a rehearsed smile at the only clean surface in the dingy restroom and walked away.

When Haruhi comes out of the metal barred doors there's no one waiting. A relieved sigh passes her lips. She usually wouldn't be hanging with a yucky zombie but her classmates were such jokesters sometimes, and had gotten her locked in with one in the abandoned school building.

The sun was setting; she had ended up taking a lot more time than expected getting rid of that gross thing (the gum of course!) Just because it’s the same color as her hair, honestly.

Her brother was waiting for her outside the wired gates of the school. Crap. She really took too long in the restrooms.

“Big bro!”

“Haruhi, late again.”

“My friends wanted to explore the old building!”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“I'm not getting that from an urban explorer! You go in older buildings all the time,” she made a show of winding back before kicking his calf.

“Pfft but that's different from you! Small, baby, do you even know how to walk,” he pushed her head down her shoulders. “Did you change your hair again?”

“Hmph! A popular girl as myself! It only makes sense that I keep up with the trends!”

“I see, so that’s where you were up to, you didn't have to invent weird stuff, making me worry for no reason.” She heard more than felt the tap in the back of her head.

“Hey! I really did go in there, I even saw an undead! In fact I was the one who k-”

He stopped walking. The empty look of horror aimed at her was enough to make her stop on her feet and stutter the rest of the sentence.

“Did you really?”

It wasn't a question.

“It’s okay, I'm around the same age you did when you started.” She tried for light-hearted but landed on anxiety.


He looked like he had something else to say but their brisk pace had gotten them outside the gates of their apartment block. They got their IDs scanned by the bot in the surveillance booth.

When they opened the door they were hit with the smell of beer and cigarette smoke. A group of smelly men smiled at them.

“Good evening everyone. Dad, we’re going to get dinner outside tonight!” he yelled before promptly closing the door again and dragging her by the wrist down the stairs.

“Hey, hey what was that? I thought you were going to cook tonight, I only had bread for lunch.” She grabbed her tummy dramatically.

“I have,” a pause, “work tonight. I couldn't leave you there alone.”

“Work!” her eyes sparkled at the word “work, you’re taking me with you for *work*?” She enunciated the word like it was a spell.

“Regrettably.”

It sounds a little too real.

He continues, “to take my annoying baby sister to work with me, do you even know how to read, can you even walk there?” she chases him making way too much noise in the dark of night.

it doesn't take long to get to the city limit at all. Their clean shoes make a jarring contrast to the unidentifiable rust blood dirt stains covering the road and everything else around. Tensei climbs the first few concrete fences and helps Haruhi down every time. he motions with his head to follow him. left, left, right, left. there's a tarp that looks too clean to have been there as long as everything else. it reminds her of arcade games having a brightly colored spot to signal a save point. Tensei uncovers it and hands her some sort of weird elongated hatchet while he takes his signature white polearm. she squints at the thing in her hands.

"Wha-"

He makes a strangled noise and gestures wildly for her to shut up. His eyes move quickly to the distance and she can almost picture rabbit ears pointing high from his pale hair. She mentions it quietly and gets a tap on her forehead for the trouble. When she looks up he's handing her his phone and a strappy thing.

"Usually, I'd have it on myself but since you're here I might as well get some interesting angles."

She fastens it around her chest with some difficulty. her heart beating fast in fear and excitement, a tamed zombie stolen from a science exhibition was nowhere near as dangerous as the hordes of monsters they could find beyond the gates. she wondered if the mic would pick up on her heart wildly beating.

"Good thinking on the harness, the phone would slip on how bad my hands are sweating". She titters nervously

"Impressive thinking skills, surely it's not because I need both hands to kill these."

"Hey!" Her whine gets cut off when they notice a particularly skeletal undead moving towards them, she freezes but makes sure to keep her trembling hands out of the frame.

Tensei shoots a too wide smile at the camera before turning around. watching him dance around the undead it's entirely different from how it looks in the VODs she catches. His moves are sure and deadly. She misses some of the taunts he whispers to the mic clipped to his lapel.

Whenever she checked the recording it said it was a ten-minute battle but her brother made it look like only seconds were necessary to take down a zombie.

The next one was a way bigger one, a tall wide framed man who was too fresh to have been from the original waves of infected. Haruhi's first instinct was to pity someone as uncaring for their life to sneak out of the barriers of the city. but then again here she was, filming it all for an audience of at most 100 people if the old live watching numbers kept up

“Hey hey why don't you say hi to the camera now sis."

"Pay attention to the fight you nutso!" worry tinted her shout

"No no guys like this are perfect to give a show, say hi to the camera. Introduce yourself, keep me in the background though!" He made a few kissy faces and narrowly avoided a tackle.

"H-Hello camera."

"Call them chat! They love that!

"You're not live idiot!"

"Irrelevant! That's my fan base name!"

"You need fans for that and even if— duck!"

The undead didn't seem entertained by the banter at all. His fists moved with extreme speed, apparently hell bent on taking Tensei's head off.

"Hah! That could have gone wrong, continue introducing yourself kid!"

"Hewwo!"

"Again, less cringe, are you trying to pander to the lolicons? I doubt they'd like that anyways"

"I don't do well under pressure!"

"You were steady enough with the first one, do the zombies scare you LESS than the opinions of some randos on the internet?" Tensei stressed the words out between ragged pants.

"H-Hello! I'm Haruhi! I'm Tensei's little sister, since you're my brother's friends that means we're friends, so you can just call me by my name! It's wonderful to meet you!"

“Cringe, do it again." He said over his shoulder

“I thought that one worked pretty well!"

“Ugh I suppose—” his words got caught in his throat, a panicked yelp pushing out his lips

Haruhi's aim had never been great but her reflexes were enough to have the pole in her hands impale the undead right in the middle of its head. The beast fell with her brother still in its hands.

She crawled the short distance towards him and fell to her knees.

“Tensei, are you— your back is it—”

“I'm fine, Haruhi, I'm fine, that was amazing. Did you get all that?" he babbled excitedly while checking the phone camera.

“I— you idiot! How are you asking me that, stupid big brother"

“I was never really in danger c'mon you know that, don't think about it, just think of the views, come on, let's get some other ones.” He stood up and offered her his hand in a placating gesture.

They spent the rest of the night with a similar routine, they'd banter and fight zombies, Tensei fronting and Haruhi following him steadily. it was exhilarating, exhausting ex ex something other with an ex, she was so so tired.

She let out a yawn.

“Agreed.”

“Mm?”

“Tired.”

“Caveman.”

“Mm.”

He pulled out two cans of (somewhat recently renamed due to controversy) energy drinks. A white paw and a classic. They clinked their drinks before chugging them. About 6 hours of footage. She couldn't believe Tensei was already going through it.

Working with her bro was much more tiring than expected, but it was exciting, perhaps if they did well Tensei would let her join again. This time surely she'd be less of a mess and maybe she'd be popular like her brother was too. Perhaps she should be aiming for a little higher than a not-really-influencer but. She stared at the glint coming from his glasses and earring, her brother was really the coolest person out there, how couldn't she want to be like him, truly?

"What's with that look, what are you thinking about?"

"That you look and smell gross after all that—No! Hey! I still have to wear this today!" He was already hugging her and stinking up her clothes, forget about anything nice she said about him ever in their lives!

"We should record the intro, before it clears, it won't look authentic otherwise."

"Huh, so you record the beginning at the end?"

"Well, yeah, you never know what you'll have to do later if you do the beginning first"

After they get it done, and they get home, Tensei posts the short video he finished editing in the dead of night. A quick reel introducing Haruhi to his viewers, with her best moments on screen. His phone vibrates wildly on his nightstand. The sound gives Haruhi nightmares of buzzing insects. The battery eventually runs out and lets her sleep for a couple of hours.