does BATHWATER MERCHANDISE exist1!?

The classroom was cold. It smelled like pencil shavings, disinfectant and something she couldn't name but felt cold. Down to the way they sat, her classmates were pointedly ignoring her. Again, like they had been for as long as she remembered.

She cleaned the chalk off her seat and wiped her desk with disinfectant wipes. She wasn't sure what was the slimy thing they favored lately but she didn't want to know. The girl who sat behind her had changed seats again, probably got bored of sticking gum in her hair. That was a highlight, wonder how she could word that to sound nicer for Tensei.

She got lost in her thoughts looking out the window to the blue sky, fluffy clouds, green blades of grass, and making an effort to avoid seeing the gates out of the city, tiny and from this far away. Honestly, these are supposed to be the best days of my life. Her eyes roamed the classroom gazing at her classmates. They were enjoying their life. She was painfully aware they were enjoying their school days without giving it a second thought that they were hurting her—she shook her head. It was okay truly, it wasn't a problem. The sky was truly beautiful today, that's another highlight, she didn't need to distort this one. It was okay, perfect, everything was okay.

She got a crumpled paper on her desk, it was a surprise pop quiz. Haruhi made eye contact with the teacher and he hurriedly looked the other way. Oh, so he was going to grade her down for this again. Kicking herself about being distracted wasn't productive, they would have crumpled it on her face anyways, but she still did it.

Once lunch came around she left the cold classroom. Head hung low, teal curtains around her. She felt the consequences of last night’s escapade on the back of her eyes, in the pounding in her head, at her slumped back. Her feet eventually took her to the small section of stairs right below the locked doors leading to the rooftop. She settled down nestled between rusted desks and took out her packed lunch. It was a mayo spam sandwich, her heart dropped when she noticed the crusts weren’t there. So Tensei was only eating those again, the absolute idiot. Eating with renovated vigor, she dedicated it to him in her mind, hoping against reason somehow it would reach his stomach.

Haruhi looked out the window, lunch hadn't been enough to fill her once again but people watching was at least a distraction from her hunger. Her classmates were in the courtyard, she could make out the shapes of their bodies moving like a well oiled machine, they were filming some dance video. Learning choreography, dancing and fooling around like that with peers of her own age. It looked fun. Her eyes moved across the courtyard, trying to avoid dwelling on how fun it looked and how much she was missing out on, until they landed on a giant cluster of students. Underclassmen, most of them, but a lot of her third year classmates were there too. She squinted at them. They were circling around a phone held up by some first year. Weird.

Footsteps up the stairs took her attention from the weird bunch of students. Strange that someone would come here, it made no sense, no one ever came around. Panicking in her seat, thoughts of being so stupid filled her head, of course someone else would try to get her alone. She put herself on a dead end, nowhere to escape, what if she defended herself? It'd only make more problems for her and her bro if she somehow hurt anyone else. Crap. This was bad.

While she was panicking, the person she heard was already in front of her. Only one, a feeble girl trembling in front of her with locked knees but a determined expression on her eyes.

"M-my name is Shizuka, he-hello upperclassman Hanazawa. I I I am from the the— I come from the. Journalism… The club. The —the journalism club. I— An interview? Please?'' The girl now covered most of her face with a blank paper held up with shaking hands.

"Huh." Haruhi stared at her.

"Th— the video, it, you-!" She seemed to take a deep breath to gather her thoughts, she lowered the paper in full now. A cute freckled face, soft brown eyes and a dark pixie cut lovingly framing it all. "Please, just answer a few questions, the upperclassmen from my club pushed me to it, I'll let you bite me afterwards if you want to!"

"Bite? What's that supposed to mean?" Haruhi's blue eyes squinted at the first year in front of her.

"Y-You know! As payment?" She faltered after seeing the offended look on the other girl's face.

"I know what you meant! I was giving you a second chance, how could you say something like that?"

"Please don't eat me, I'm not tasty at all I promise!" The girl cried out from below the paper thin shield she was crouching under.

"I won't eat you, stupid" Haruhi bent down to snatch the paper off the other girl's hands. Shizuka squeaked and covered her head with her hands while shaking.

"Please, if you will, just fill them out." She cried.

"What does it feel like to be an overnight streaming success, what is your secret for aspiring click-clock stars, will you sell bathwater— What is this!?"

Haruhi turned to see the underclassman crawling down the stairs. She chased after her. "I'm no streaming success or whatever, what's with this weird questionnaire?"

"Uhm, is this part of your branding? Is your character really humble?" Shizuka replies, eyebrows knitted in doubt.

"Wha— uhm, sure, my character is rather stupid. I'll do the interview if you explain to my character exactly what's going on."

"Okay, so on a school night former student Hanazawa Tensei and his sister third year Hanazawa Haruhi snuck out on part of their new series as sibling urban explorers. their reel titled Little Sister Joins In The Fun.—"

"Oh I can't believe he'd name it like some kind of dirty movie."

Shizuka squints at her before continuing, "Gained an abnormally high view count, getting close to a million likes at the time of writing this article.”

“A MILLION!?”

“It’s crazy for a newbie like your brother huh.”

“A million…?”

“Yes! Please, could you fill in the replies, I'm sure you’re plenty excited too. Ah, you can disregard the one with the bathwater. One of the third years is very weird about uhm, you know, people like you and your brother."

“My brother! Does he know?”

“I would assume so? Is there drama between the two of you? You don’t talk anymore?” Shizuka pulls out her phone and is already typing something on her Notes app.

“No! He just didn’t mention it, that's all. Thank you for telling me this, I need to ask him!”

“Wait, you didn’t fill these out at all!”

“I’ll do it, I promise!”

Haruhi didn’t catch what the other girl told her, surely it was something nice that didn’t involve her and her ancestors being cursed at all! She was sprinting down the stairs with a pep in her step she hadn’t ever felt before in this building. Her legs took her to the gates leading out the school. Before her shoes loudly screeched against the floor. Somehow, she hadn’t thought at all that Tensei was probably in the middle of his own lunch at the high school 20 minutes away. She stopped to think it through. The gates usually weren't open but they were today, surely it was a sign? It wasn't like the teachers usually cared about her at all, at most they'd give her detention.

Taking in a breath, staring at the ground she stepped forward.

…Only to be tackled down by a white blur.