Our Last Interaction

I continued to stare at the hedge with intrigued eyes. The density of it made it impossible to see anything on the other side, which was probably for the better. As her question lingered around my ears, I was about to tell her my family name.

*Don't do it, Kiyoshi!*
The voice in my head, who I named Swani, snapped at me within my thoughts.
*There is no reason for you to tell her your name.*

He was right. For whatever reason, the calendar felt heavier in my hand, and the grass became rougher under my butt. I knew I shouldn't tell her anything about me, nor should I know anything about her. I yielded; my mouth closed without answering.

I leaned my back to the hedge again and placed the calendar to my side. My legs laid flat with my fingers interlocked behind my head. Since the girl didn't get a response to the first question, she asked another.

"Why are you in the garden?"
Her voice sounded more distant, but I knew she didn't move places. Just like how I was facing away from her, she was facing away from me.

Excluding my unexpected reunion this morning, it's been quite a while since I had a conversation with another student. With an answer in mind, I elected to not comment about the stuff I read in the calendar; I didn't need further elaboration nor did I expect it to be brought up in this situation.

I answered, "To get away from everyone and be alone, which obviously isn't what I got."

"Fufu, sorry about that," she said giggling. "I came here before the ceremony to express my anxiety to the flowers, of course, while taking my pills."

What...?
I was completely caught off-guard. My effort to gloss past the calendar was shattered instantly. Without having a look at her face, I could only wonder what kind of expression she was displaying, but that wouldn't tell me what her intentions were for this conversation.

"Are you shocked? Tell me you're shocked!" she chirped. "Awh, I wish I could've seen your face. You didn't look shocked when you read the receipt, so I wanted to get you with this. Fufu."

So she already knows what I look like? She knows I know about her secret.
"Honestly speakin', I'm shocked. Though, it's more at the fact you brought it up to a total stranger instead of the actual content itself."

"Oh?"
I could imagine her tilting her head.
"Then, are you more curious about my secret, or me?"

"Neither. To me, your secret isn't a big deal. You obviously have your reasons to hide it from people, so there's no point in me pryin' you about it."

*It's time we leave. If we stay any longer, we might establish some kind of connection with her.*

I agreed with Swani, which of course was just me. The sunlight was disappearing behind the mountain range east of the school, and the spring breeze sped up along with the time. The hedge slightly pushed my back, and the sound of the leaves shifting made me believe she was moving around; probably adjusting her posture.

I brought in one leg to lift me upwards, but then I heard a maniacal giggle that was far closer to my ears than any of her previous words were. She was standing up again, leaning over the hedge. She must've been around my height or taller to do that.

My back turned even faster than before, causing it to crack a bit. I looked up to see if I could see her this time, but all I saw was a hand with some kind of green bracelet around the palm reeling back behind the hedge. It was accompanied by a screaming giggle one would expect a child to make.

"Wah! Fufu!"

The majority of me was beyond confused as to what she was doing, but there was a part that was relieved I didn't see her. I let out a faint sigh, then asked her,
"What are you doin'?"

"This is pretty fun, I feel like a ninja! Are you ready for round three? I'm going to win this time!"
Her back was against the hedge again.

Now I was the one tilting my head in confusion. "Win at what?"

"Your fluffy hair, I want to pet it. I win if I do that."

I'll admit, the way she said that tempted me to let her, but then I realized she was treating me like a cat. My hand rubbed the back of my neck out of some form of embarrassment. Without thinking, I sat away from the hedge again and completely forgot about leaving. I looked at the calendar that seemed to have been nudged and picked it up.

Despite being present for all this, I didn't know what was going on. Her eccentric, childlike behavior put me in a daze because I believed she was supposed to be a somewhat diligent role model for the rest of us at school. This was probably how she was all the time.

Although, it was thanks to her game that I realized another mistake I was making. I was trying to look at her by turning around. If she hadn't ducked, I would've been able to put a face to her name, and that would've made a connection.

"I'd rather not catch you in the act, because I don't want to know what you look like."

I expected her to be perplexed by my statement, and her lack of a quick response was evident that she was trying to find something to say.

"You don't already know?"

I crunched my eyebrows.
"I don't think so. Am I supposed to?"

"Did you not see me on stage when I gave my tear-jerking speech at the entrance ceremony?"

Oh right, this girl's the class representative. The whole school would've seen her.
"Well, I actually didn't attend the ceremony. I was...preoccupied with something else."
I softly rubbed my fingers across my collarbone.

"Oh, skipping the ceremony?" she said mischievously. I imagined her putting a hand over her mouth. "I didn't know I was speaking to a delinquent. Fufu."

"Oh yeah, I'm a danger to be around. So you better run off to safety while you can."
What I said was true, in a sense. I combed the grass with the fingers of my right hand.

"Considering how you were captivated by a book about flowers, I doubt that's true."
She had a point.

*Leave,* said Swani.

I stood up with my back still facing the hedge. My legs felt a bit weak considering how long I was sitting for, and my posture wasn't the best the entire time. Without turning around, I placed the calendar on top of the hedge.

"I'm goin' to leave, so I'll put this here for you."

She remained seated.
"Ah, um... W-Will you be coming back?" her voice wobbled.

"Well, my plan was to come here every day for lunch to get away from the classrooms. But if you want to use this garden for flower talkin', then I can just find another spot."

"I-I don't plan on d-doing that!" she stuttered in a panicked tone. "I-I don't think I-I'll come back as often as you do."

"But, you do plan on comin' back, right?"

She hesitated for a moment, but ultimately said, "Y-You could have this place."

I took her assent with a grain of salt.
"Well then, I'll be goin' now. Please don't jump out at me as I'm walkin' away."

"Why's that, Random Student-kun?"

I was going to tell her that I didn't feel the need to explain this to her, but she must've figured I was going to say that, because she gave a follow up with her question.

"Tell me! Or else I'll show you my all natural, no makeup, pretty face!"

"I wouldn't mind that," I said quickly. I looked over my shoulder to see if she would take action.

"..."
Her silence made me believe I made her blush; payback.

I displayed a victorious grin, though no one would be able to see it.
I told her, "Connectin' with people is how friends are made, and the easiest way to form a connection with someone is by knowin' what they look like and what their name is. Whenever you see them, you remember their name. Whenever you hear their name, you remember their look. Everythin’ you learn about them afterwards is connected to those two things. Because I only know half of that for you, and you for me, we aren't even acquaintances, but simply strangers to each other. Havin' friends means it's possible for burdens to grow among them, and for me, they were a pain to deal with."

"...I understand what you mean."
Her acknowledgement came to me as a surprise.
"I'm scared that if I tell my friends and family about my anxiety problems, then things between us would change. I have this feeling that I can't tell anyone about because I'm supposed to be this prodigy that makes everyone happy."

That's why you're keepin' it a secret. You're scared they'll react negatively and burdens will be created for everyone around you.

There was a moment of vocal silence. The sounds of nature unaffected by our conversation dominated the air in place of our voices. Maybe we should've stayed quiet this whole time.

I broke the silence.
"Look, your secret is useless info to me, and I'll probably forget about it before the week is done. You have nothin' to worry about... So, let this be our last interaction, okay?"

I didn't wait for her approval. I began walking out the garden, the grass more rough compared to when I entered. When I left the semicircle, I knew the girl was to my right. I don't know why, but I had to force myself to fight off any urge to look in that direction, resulting in me staring at my feet as I took the steps away.

The girl called out from behind me, "See you later!"

I didn't know why she said it like that if I told her quite clearly that we shouldn't talk anymore. I took what she said as a "Goodbye" instead, and entered the narrow passage back into the school without returning a goodbye myself.