Attraction and Antagonism

A good thirty minutes of our tutoring session passed by already.

...Suffice to say, it was not going well in the slightest.

The glimpse of optimism and charm I had seen in Kisaki started to give way as I could see her shaking her head whilst looking over my work. I wasn’t exactly putting forward my absolute best per se, but I was at least making an honest attempt in trying to understand her explanations. It was clear as day to me, in any case, that there is a fundamental difference between the way she teaches and the way I learn. Kisaki was clearly trying to put on a pleasant face, but the facade was breaking.

“Hiiragi, I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here. I want to see you improve, but you aren’t showing any signs of understanding this material when I look at our supplementary work.”

“I just think you need to slow down, or something. I just think you aren’t really guiding me, instead just like, dumping it on me.”

“Fine, let’s try and go over this again.”

Kisaki showed a weak smile, trying to keep her composure.

~

Over the next half-hour, nothing really changed. The exact same scenario unfolded again, but with much less good faith.

“Are you even listening to a word I say, Hiiragi? You haven’t made any progress with the work I explained to you even now! I swear, it’s like you aren’t even trying to work with me here-”

I narrowed my eyes in response to her accusation. “I AM trying to listen to you, but you’re not articulating any of it! You’re just telling me crap and expecting me to understand it all, instead of working through it WITH me! You’re the one that isn’t listening!”

The conversation went absolutely nowhere as it went on. Our ideals repeatedly clashed with each other until it devolved into us screaming at one another. I had to hold in my anger as she slung insult after insult my way when I had simply tried to explain my problems with her instruction style. It became exceedingly hard not to attempt to slap her in order to shut her up, but I didn’t want to stoop down to that level- even if she showed zero concern for me. I ended up turning the other way after enough time.

Right as I was about to get up and leave, however, someone opened the door to the classroom. Kisaki looked at them with a sort of familiarity as if she was expecting them or something. I didn’t have good expectations, and I assumed she called some member of the faculty. I certainly had no intention of sticking around, but the person who entered the room surprised me. It was Kitazawa Mayu, one of my best friends.

“...Mayu? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see how everything is going... I heard screaming from the hall down, after all. Is everything alright?”

“But you don’t have after-school activities?”

“Oh, I was the one who asked Takimiya to tutor you, Yuuto.”

“Kitazawa, I know you requested my help regarding Hiiragi, but he’s beyond me. My efforts appear to be in vain, I think Hiiragi is a lost cause.”

Mayu brushed off Kisaki’s words and approached me, putting her hand on my shoulder as she put her bag on another desk. She looked me in the eyes with a serious expression. For whatever reason, I felt uneasy.

“Look Yuuto, I know this isn’t something you want to do, but please, give her a chance! I don’t want you to fail, and I also know Takamiya doesn’t have many friends- I hate seeing two of my closest friends arguing all the time... I would like it if you two could, y’know, try to get along.”

“There’s no way!”

Both of us ended up shouting in unison. Everyone completely ignored the fact we had said the exact same thing and Mayu ended up continuing to speak.

“Truth be told, I figured you two could work things out because you’ve both told me you find each other attractive.”

This is news to me. She thinks I’m cute? Her? Don’t pull my leg.

“Hiiragi? Come on now. Why exactly would I find this imbecile attractive? Who do you take me for?”

Kisaki openly denied Mayu’s claim, but I had my doubts about her refutation as I turned and looked at Kisaki who was clearly flustered. 07Regardless, I don’t think Mayu would lie about something like this- and no one would lie about that in front of both of our faces, doubly so. I ended up speaking up myself, in an attempt to press her further.

“I suppose I have expressed my positive opinions on Kisaki to you, Mayu. I could never deny that Takamiya is one of, if not, THE prettiest girl in this entire school if you were to ask me. I’d even go as far to say everything about her appearance is completely stunning almost as if she was tailored specifically to catch my eye. Back when I was a first-year, seeing her made my heart skip a beat. ...But I’m not a first year anymore, and I realized only after knowing her for a few years that I can’t stand being in the same room as her. Now that I know what kind of person she is, even if she’s drop-dead gorgeous you wouldn’t see me with her out of my own free will. ”

I ended up going on a ramble about how I felt about Kisaki. Right in front of her. I, uh, may have been a bit too forward in an attempt to mess with Kisaki, and spilled all my thoughts without thinking them all through. I felt a light wave of embarrassment wash over me as I realized all of this. I knew my face was likely turning a shade of red as an uncomfortable silence set in. When I finally regained the courage to look at Kisaki, she was certainly more riled up by my statement than I was, before she realized I was looking and subsequently recomposed herself. I guess Mayu certainly wasn’t lying about her...

“Ahem! Ignoring the words of this deviant... You must have been hearing things, Kitazawa. What made you think he was someone I was interested in? I certainly don’t find him attractive- he isn’t fit to be my prince in the slightest with his lackadaisical behaviors, even if he may look the part.” She said the last part in a hushed voice for some reason, even though it was clear from her actions that she thought I was cute.

“...Prince? You mean like a fairy tale prince that will lead you by the hand and all that?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’m not sure if you could understand the concept of pure romance and true love... I’m sure you’ve played enough eroge to the point where it’s affecting how you expect girls to act. As I said, your corrupted and perverted view of love-”

“Okay, you’re making a lot of assumptions here. I don’t really like that.”

Mayu went to where her desk was in the classroom and signaled to the both of us that she was going to sit there while we went at it, which broke a bit of the returning tension in the air between me and Kisaki. I found myself once again speaking to break the silence.

“You may think I’m some sick sexual deviant or something because I have mentioned that I play eroge and read risky doujinshi- but you couldn’t be more wrong. I’ll level with you- I want to experience young love that makes me see my life in a new light. I want to share memories with a special someone, to protect them, to hold them in my arms, to find out the meaning of love together with them... I’ve been dreaming of that for a long time, and now that I’m running out of time, I-”

I got distracted from my explanation when I saw Mayu crack the cockiest grin I had ever seen out of the corner in my eye. I could tell she was looking at Kisaki, and once again turned my attention back to Kisaki who was clearly flustered from my ramble about romance. I heard Mayu stand up.

“Well, aren’t the two of you both hopeless romantics?”

I genuinely had no idea how to respond to any of this anymore. I wasn’t as flustered like Kisaki or anything, but I was speechless for sure. I’m starting to think this was a setup. Mayu’s smug face did nothing but support this theory. She knew I was looking for this, and she knew Kisaki was looking for this and probably thought this could work out like an anime. Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t blame her, I probably would have tried the same- but regardless Kisaki is NOT girlfriend material. Her constant nagging would make me go insane, I’m sure.

“Mayu, did you do this in hopes of setting us up..?”

“Perhaps. I did know you would give Yuuto the time of day if it pertained to academics, since you’re always so energized when it comes to it all.”

I was about to respond to Mayu, but before I could even make a single sound, Kisaki piped up and lost her cool- which scared me and Mayu with how fast she started screaming.

“Are you kidding me, Kitazawa? YOU WANTED ME TO WASTE MY TIME TUTORING THIS BRICK WALL THINKING I WOULD SOFTEN UP AND LET HIM MAKE ME HIS TROPHY WIFE?”

The two of us stood there, wide eyed as Kisaki suddenly snapped and gave the both of us a death stare with tears in her eyes. God knows I didn’t have any of the words now to diffuse this.

“Kitazawa, I can’t believe you took advantage of my feelings to try and fulfill this brat’s sick fantasy. I really thought you were looking out for the greater good, but it seems you’re just as perverted as he is.”

I wanted to bash my head against a desk. I was too exhausted to do that, however- just like I was too tired to fight Kisaki’s allegations. I just waited for Mayu to speak.

“Takamiya, I do care about Yuuto’s grades! But even more so, I really, genuinely want to see the two of you at least become friends when I know you’re more similar than you both think! You’re both honest to a fault, hopeless romantics, and passionate about your work to name just a few things..! You can’t imagine how frustrating it is seein-”

“...I don’t want to hear it.”

Kisaki couldn’t hold back her tears. I don’t really understand why Kisaki was so upset, personally. I could see that Mayu was just trying her best to improve several issues with one solution. I guess this was something I genuinely wouldn’t be able to get, even if Mayu hid her intentions. I felt bad for Mayu, even if she did this behind my back.

“...Hey, Takamiya-”

She ignored me. Kisaki picked up her stuff and ran out of the classroom, leaving me and Mayu here. Mayu exchanged glances with me and I gestured towards the door, which was enough for me to convey my feelings about the situation. She said “Thanks” and “Sorry” as she went to follow Kisaki. I was alone in the classroom now.

Hearing the silence in the room now felt uncomfortable, when I considered the spirited voices filling the room just a moment earlier. I didn’t know how to feel about all of this, but I could also see how Mayu saw some similarities shared between me and Kisaki. Briefly, I imagined what it would be like to date Kisaki.

“She is attractive, driven, and romantic. Maybe-”

It didn’t take long for me to remember her constant vitriol aimed at me, and I stopped that train of thought before long. I should just go home. I finally picked up my belongings and cleared my head as I nonchalantly walked off of the scene where everything had unfolded prior.

I was greeted by the spring air once more as I made my way home after that long day.