Craven

Every day for the past two and a half years, I had been walking to my high school. However, I wanted to break this pattern today by bringing a motorbike. 

To sum up why one is in my possession, I’ll have to recall last year. There was a period when the Jesus/Superman/therapist girl said that she wants to go on a ride with me. And since I was content with the idea, I begged my parents for a bike and they agreed. Yes, it was as simple as that, was I obligated to tell a story that involves crime and stealing or whatever the hell? No, I don't think so.

I passed the same park, bakery, boutique, Thai restaurant, and clinic, all in the same order. The only dissimilarity was the speed, and yet traversing to school today felt so mismatched with the usual. I guess it’s due to my being full of life than usual, that or the wind blowing through my face at 40km/h. With that pace, I quickly arrived at my destination.

It was earlier for me to be here compared to my regular, and I plan to utilize this free time fully. Seeing the two idiots I talked to just yesterday, I approached them. Habitually, the roles are backward, but just like before, I’m feeling different today.

“Hey, you two know Kiri, that runaway girl?”. As if perplexed by my entrance to their conversation, they stood idle for a few seconds.

“Wait, that Japanese girl? Is something up man?”, the HG(hip guy) asked

“No, just finding her disappearance strange. She was never found.”, I replied.

“Yeah, but all that happened at the end of our first year, why bother looking into it now?”

“Let’s just say I won’t forget an old friend of mine.”

“Since when were y’all friends?”. He was baffled by my response. Come to think of it, I never told anyone in high school I knew Kiri when she ran away.

“Stan and the girl used to hang around each other a lot. Not even gonna lie, I was a tad bit jealous.”, the MTG(mild-tempered guy) joined in.

“Wait you knew? How though, me and Kiri stopped seeing each other since high school.”

“Simple, I went to the same middle school as you, you asshole.”

Something clicked in my mind, and I could remember seeing the face of the guy sometimes on my middle school playground.

“Oh, riiiight. Totally forgot you had met me before high school, sorry your existence wasn’t appreciated.”

“Wow, this guy.”, while he was disappointed by my callousness, the hip guy just chuckled along.

As if realizing the conversation had been digressing, I cleared my throat.

“Do you guys know any of her friends, or at least anyone who was somewhat close to her?”, I glanced at MTG, expecting his observing eyes to aid my lack of knowledge. Responding to my gesture, he answered.

“I can recall some of her self-proclaimed friends who lent a hand in providing information. They were shown on the news actually.”

“Self-proclaimed? What do you mean by that?”, I asked.

“Well, none of them were from her class. You can see that most of them were incoherent when talking about Kiri’s personality. And it’s certainly unnatural if most of her friends consist of people who can’t spend a lot of time with her. This leaves us with a question, I wonder what’s the relationship between Kiri and her classmates.”

“Yeah man, that certainly is weird. But there’s that one girl who seemed genuine in her interview. She's named Alice, from class 11D I think.”, finding something to add to the conversation, HG joined.

“True, it seemed like she was the most cogent. The other girls lacked something, and It was Alice who connected all of the interviewee’s opinions and merged them into one understandable personality construct.”

“Yeah, besides, with those adorable round eyes and such a cute little nose, how can she fake such an expression!”, thinking it was necessary somehow, HG added something that made me grimace.

“I don’t know If I can take your word for it now.”

“You can take mine though, I think she’s trustworthy.”, assured MTG.

Taking all this with a grain of salt, I started assessing the information I had just gathered. Then came up with my next move.

“Class 11D is on the third floor, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“All right, you two come with me, we’re having a talk. And if you’re lucky you might get your way with Alice.”, I looked at HG, as if speaking directly to him. Bewildered by my statement, he slid his head to the side.

The three of us then head out with me leading the way. Reaching the third floor, HG pointed out that the girl standing with her two other friends in the hallway was the person I’m looking for. Unhesitatingly, I approached them, leaving my two pawns behind.

“Those two guys over there wanted to ask something about Alice, would you girls mind?”, I vaguely pointed at the two guys behind me, keeping my eyes still toward the girls.

Feeling confused at first, the girls found it hard to reply. After a brief moment, Alice questioned me.

“Why don’t they just ask me?”

“A little bit shy you see, those boys.”

The girls beside Alice raised their eyebrows, following the doubting look, they crossed their arms.

“Ok, we’ll have a little talk with them.”, swiftly the two girls crossed me, enclosing my two little friends aggressively.

Deducting that since Alice is considered cute and also went on TV, she shouldn’t usually be alone. Hence, I figured there should be people getting in my way of talking with her, and that’s why I brought those two. And so, all according to my plan, the attention has been passed away from me.

“Wait what, why are they going to us?”

“That fucking asshole Stan!”

Sorry my sweet pawns, you have served your purpose.

With nothing in our way anymore, me and Alice are now alone. I observed her, straight golden hair that falls below her shoulder, a petite figure, and a child-like face. I was guessing that she’s the timid but nice type. Realizing it now, she had become the only reason why I am at this school this morning

“This might be insensitive, but can you tell me what was your friend who ran away from home, Alice, like before she ran away?”

Now to explain why I'm here, It’s the why that I was looking for. Even though I figured out the place she could have gone to, simply finding her without understanding the why would only be futile. I don’t think I’m important enough for Kiri to go back just because a childhood friend went looking for her. 

Moreover, I couldn’t really trust Kiri’s mother. I assumed that the divorce was the main reason why Kiri ran away, no normal person would not be affected by such a heart-breaking familial circumstance. And so to make sure, I need more solid information to accumulate and deduce Kiri’s state of mind.

Contradicting my expectations, she wasn’t surprised. Instead, Alice was expressionless, her tone identical.

“You can hear about it in my interview, just search the internet archive.”

“No, I’d like to hear this from you personally. There could be a chance you deviated the story due to the state of affairs being public.”

As if she had anticipated my answer, the girl followed up swiftly with a harsh tone.

“How caring and considerate of you, would have been nice if you had been like this when she ran away though. You piece of shit couldn’t even bat an eye then, so why now?”

???

What the hell is this girl saying? Why is she so hostile towards me?

“What do you mean?”, I asked, sounding befuddled.

“Oh she talks about you Stan, she talks a looot about you. It seemed you guys were great friends. Yet it’s so strange that you never even cared when she was out of your life.”

The sun rises and illuminates the hallway. Facing my back at the window, I could see the starkness in her passive aggression. As if serving their queen, the light centers around Alice, leaving me in a black dot.

In total contrast with the girl’s size, her intimidation holds a force that left me cowering. I took a step back, but there was a wall obstructing my second one. Not allowing her prey to escape, she persisted with blows.

“Answer me, what kind of friend are you? Are you really her friend in the first place, letting her go that easily? Why be so caring and callous at the same time? C’mon, what’s your answer? Tell me.”

I couldn’t withstand it anymore. And, decided to counter.

“Why are you dumping all this on me? I know I wasn’t there to help her or even after, and I regret it fully. But there’s no reason for you to be this mad at me, I don’t even know why you’re this angry.”

She was going to retort, but when her mouth was half opened, she stopped. Her flame eased a little, still, it was evidently there in her speaking.

“All right, I’ll calm down.”, after a lengthy exhale, she spoke.

“Let me tell you a short story about Kiri. You mind?”

I nodded. Due to some clouds shrouding the sun from view, the gleam that surrounded us was now dim. The girl resumed.

“She was a lively girl, always desiring new things and not afraid to actually do them. You at least remember that, yes?”

“M-hmm”, I answered, simultaneously crossing my arms.

“Well, that characteristic, it doesn’t fit in well when you grow up into this lifeless bunch. Her classmates were weirded out, and they ostracized her. I, unlike those boring fuckers, thought she was amazing. And so I approached her, and despite being in different classes, we quickly became friends. We were a match really, but a girl like Kiri needed something more.”

I recalled Kiri’s mother saying something likewise. She was surprisingly correct, and I felt bad for thinking otherwise.

“And that’s why she ran away? Because she was bored?”

“Yeah, but she’s been like that her entire life. Yet ever since she entered high school she couldn’t cope with it anymore. Ever since her childhood boyfriend left her. Now I wonder why?”, with an accusatory glance, a ray of light shined on her. There were no more shades.

“What are you insinuating?”

“That there had to be a scar for her to change like that, something happened. Like I said before, she told me a lot about you Stan. I know the reason why you guys stopped being friends.”

I could suddenly hear my heart pounding, with each beat the more I grow impatient. Mercilessly, she then spoke those words.

“I’m sure you loved her Stan, but how could you have rejected the poor girl like that? What a pussy.”

A sudden pain paralyzed my whole being. And abruptly, my mind was filled with wrath. I could feel my teeth clenching, my veins growing visible, and my eyes going crazy. A feeling of suffocation and inability overwhelmed me as I desperately seek for the output of my anger. It was like I was trying to lash out at anyone only in an attempt to escape my hopelessness.

I laid my vision toward the victim in front of me. As if a shade covering my eyes, my perception turned grim as I open my palms, reaching toward the poor girl.

You know nothing, you fucking outsider.

*Rang* *Rang* *Rang*

Before my hands were even slightly up, the bell rang, signaling that it was time to go to class. It snapped me out of my rage, and my heart begins to decelerate. Alice, baffled by my being motionless, raised her eyebrow.

“Hey Alice, we’ve got so much to tell you, get in class already.”

“Yeah, those two losers actually thought they had a chance. C’mon.”

The two girls from earlier swept away the tension and grabbed Alice’s hand, pulling her into class. I was left there like an idiot, still pondering about what just happened. It all just happened so fast.

It certainly wasn’t what I anticipated, but at the end of the day, I still received valuable information. Albeit the myriads of emotion I’m experiencing right now, I would say it was worth it.

…

I think.