VII. to cure our own loneliness

During dinner, after dad finished ranting about the latest co-worker drama, Kaguya declared, "I have a boyfriend."

"Is he rich?" I asked.

"Is he smart?" Dad asked.

Kaguya made a show of daintily finishing her miso soup before she continued: "Yes. And yes. He's never coming home or you two will scare him off. I just wanted to give the news. Thanks."

Lest she opt to fill herself with instant ramen again, I gave her my miso and took her rice in exchange. What a stupid dinner. At least I'd have plenty of leftovers for the even stupider amount of lunches I had to prepare on the daily. "Don't be like that," said my dad. "We'll be nice to him. Right, Ne—"

"Totally," I replied. "He better get onii-chan's approval by buying a really nice gift for me like—"

"Shh. Don't listen to him. Kaguya, my baby, there comes a time in a woman's life when—"

"—a new oven. Nothing too silly. You know how the one we have isn't working anymore, and—"

"Seriously? That's the gift you want from my future son-in-law? Why can't you be a normal teenager and—"

"Guys," said Kaguya.

"—ask for something manly, like protein shakes?"

"That's such a stupid gift."

"And an oven isn't?" Retorted my dad.

"Guys," said Kaguya.

"Okay, okay, listen. We NEED a new oven. You wouldn't know because neither of you could boil an egg to save your lives, but—"

"—that's no way to talk to your dad. I helped with breakfast this morning."

"Yeah. By toasting bread. The point is—"

"Guys," pleaded Kaguya.

"—that one side of the oven is heating up more than the other. It's so annoying. You guys wants results without investment. Also, the rice cooker—"

Kaguya stood up. We turned to look at her at the same time. Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. A fly buzzing by stopped mid-flight to spectate. "I'm done," she said. 

"...doesn't turn on sometimes."

"I'm so so SO done!"

"Should've told me that before," said my dad.

"I have! So many times! You guys never take me seriously!"

"Oh, that too. I was talking to Nesaku."

I would've followed along had Hoshino's words not come to mind after that: but it's like nobody listened.

"Kaguya," I began, but she'd already stormed out of the dining/living room/kitchen (it wasn't a big house). Dad looked at me as if to say, 'did we overdo it?' and I nodded, and he shrugged, as if to say, 'do we go and apologize?' and even though I would've usually told him to do that himself, I nodded to that, too.

***

I didn't want to go to school, but skipping would mean 'they' would win. While I never knew who 'they' were, this sufficed to get me out of bed. Kaguya kicked me in lieu of a 'good morning', which meant she wasn't mad anymore. Dad toasted bread again to exert dominance upon our dining/living room/kitchen. 

I left first. Kaguya would follow sooner than later. Dad would go out last. I wouldn't mind running into a reality-shattering event plus a girl wielding ancient magic at the moment. Or a truck. Anything.

Sooner than later, I came across the first girl wearing our (summer) uniform—reddish-brown skirt, white polo shirt, navy blue ribbon. I saw her every now and then, so we nodded curtly before heading through different alleyways (lest we cross ways again). 

Blue skies. Yellow sun. Green foliage. Skin mites laying eggs and shitting on everyone's faces. A peaceful town, a peaceful student life: one that was about to change.

"I'm late! I'm laaate!"

Wait, no, I didn't actually mean—

"Kyaa!"

Something attempted to tackle me, so I dodged it. Hanamura crashed against the brick wall next to me. To us? A loaf of bread flew across the air before I caught it, because it'd piss me off to see food get wasted in this economy. Instead, it was her who hit the ground, legs spread, holding her head.

She wore modesty shorts.

This prompted me to ask, "What are you doing?"

"...oh, Watanabe-kun, what a coincidence."

"Stop fucking lying."

"Ah. Thank you." I handed her the toast. She took it with her mouth before standing up, but then she must've skipped a part of the script, because she dramatically lay back down with her legs spread. 

"...okay. Uh." I cleared my throat. "A-are you okay? Did I hurt y... oh. White. They're white!"

"Pink," Hanamura corrected. She still lay on the floor, mind you.

"Pink! They're pink!"

"Kyaa!" She scrambled up, covering her (white) modesty shorts with her hands. It kind of came out muffled, since she bit on the loaf of bread and all. "You saw them, didn't you!?"

"Yes! I-I mean no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

Then she burst out giggling. 

"Boo," I said. "Fired." 

"Sorry."

"Seriously, though, what are you d—your hands are dirty you just touched the ground with them stop fucking using them to—" She shoved the toast into my mouth. The egg on top was kind of raw.

Hanamura dusted off her skirt, made a show of clapping the dirt of her hands, then took it back. Like that did anything. "Are you mad?" She asked, then bit it. 

"Huh? Why would I be?"

"I thought you'd like it." 

"Then you shouldn't have worn modesty shorts."

"Oh. That's true..."

What.

"...but I didn't want to seem like... you know."

I guess I would've found it amusing had opted not to talk to Hoshino yesterday. The giggle, the skit, the way she...

"Yeah. Um. Anyway, I promise I just saw you walking by and thought it'd be, you know. Funny. For you."

"So you're telling me we've been walking around the same area all this time and I'd never noticed you?"

She nodded. Hanamura had begun to toy with her hair, which was tied into a braid today, dyed strawberry blond, almost falling to her waist. "Sure," I said. "Whatever you say. Thanks for the not panty shot, I think. See you later?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Not that I know of, no." I began to walk.

"What happened? What did I do?" She followed.

"Nothing?"

"Do you hate me now, too?"

I stopped. 

Believe me, it's not like she actually likes you or anything.

She's probably just trying to use you so she's not alone anymore.

...so?

I shook my head. It was true, after all: whatever stupid shit she'd done in the past had nothing to do with me. So far, however, she'd acted like three different people. That was the problem. The way Hoshino talked about her, she seemed less a threat and more a fool trying to impress strangers. Again, so? 

And to that, out of all the things Hanamura could've said, it was the following: "It is because I use modesty shorts?"

"...what."

"Hm. I guess I can take them off."

"No. Hanamura. Wait. Calm down."

She sighed, leaned down, then froze. "Oh!"

I'd frozen, too, for obvious reasons.

"I know! My socks!" I hadn't noticed until then (perhaps for obvious reasons as well) that one went up to her knee; the other hung near her ankle. She pulled the latter back up. Hanamura then said, "Now you won't hate me anymore."

"...uhh..."

"Or did you want both of them down?"

"Hana..." I trailed off. I had to cover my mouth with my fist to keep myself from laughing.

"So you do."

"No! Are you—"

—insane or goofing around? 

Based on the way she grinned, the latter. Based on the way she tried to disguise this when I looked back at her, her scheme, whatever it'd been, had succeeded. "We'll be late," Hanamura noted, as though this wasn't her fault.

"...yeah? Didn't you scream about how late you were before? It's almost as though you were lying."

We resumed our walk. Hanamura waved this off. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"But of course."

And that was that.

And as silly as that was, I kind of wished I hadn't talked to Hoshino yesterday. I wished I hadn't asked anything at all. Now I couldn't get her words out of my head. 

Still—so what if she said and did dumb shit to belong? Didn't most people do that? Didn't Hoshino? Why did it matter so much?

It didn't. 

After all, we all used each other to cure our own loneliness. If we took away the medicine, then...