Heavy Metal Secret

I woke up the next day with a stinging pain. I felt it all over my face and it made my jaw numb. But the real surprise was how I ended up back home. I don’t remember at all what had happened to me. The only thing from yesterday that I can still recall vividly was the concert. After that…nothing. Waking up at home without knowing how I came back and with an aching pain on my face nonetheless was just too surreal!

I looked at my phone and saw that it was yet another school day. However, it was the second-to-last day before the weekend. I smiled knowing that the week was almost coming to an end. Finally, I can soon have a respite from intermingling with the normies of my school.

On my way to school, Ikki once again surprised me from behind. I cannot express how irritated and angry that makes me. How would he like it if I surprise him from behind every single day with a kick to the head? But this is just me venting out my frustration with his behavior.

“Hey, sorry about last night,” he apologized. Despite the sincerity in his voice, his nonchalant smile really made me livid. I simply glared at him and said nothing. If I said anything back, he would simply turn it into a joke. That would be too much for me to bear.

Ikki noticed my silence and started to keep pace alongside me. “Guess what?” he asked me. His tone sounded like he really wanted me to answer. The desperation in his voice was too obvious to not notice.

“What?” I asked him back flatly. I decided to humor him a bit. But did I really care? No, not really.

“My band finally booked a show to play at KABANG! this weekend!” he said out loud. It was clear from his tone that he was very excited. The volume of his voice caught the attention of some of the nearby normies, which irked me a bit since I don’t really like being in their field of vision. But I was nonetheless happy for him. Really! You see, Ikki is the drummer for a local punk band that he founded with some neighborhood kids he knew back in middle school. They call themselves Blue Year and they have some really good songs. I jam with them from time to time, and the other guys are pretty good musicians too. But the one thing that always bugged Ikki was that no matter how good they were, they apparently weren’t good enough to get accepted to play at any live houses. So after hearing that they can finally make their live debut this weekend, I silently wished them luck and hope that their show becomes a success.

We were now near the gate when a few voices a small distance away caught my ears. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but their conversation was apparently too good for my ears to ignore. I glanced over at Ikki and the expression on his face told me that he was deeply entranced by their conversation too. Based on what I heard, it went something like this: “Say, why couldn’t you make it last night?” — Normie #1. “Oh, just some personal stuff.” — Normie #2. “What? Did you meet up with your boyfriend or something?” (giggles) — Normie #3. “You know I don’t have a boyfriend.” — Normie #2. “Don’t tell me you had singing lessons again.” — Normie #4. “Singing lessons?” — Normie #1. “Her mother is her voice teacher.” — Normie #4.

As I was listening, I could tell right away that “Normie #2” was Haruto Saiki. I couldn’t tell you how I knew it. It just felt instinctive somehow, as if her voice has already been ingrained in my memory.

“Did you hear?” asked Ikki, jabbing his elbow into my sides to get my attention. “Apparently, Haruto Saiki’s mother is a singer and voice teacher.”

“Really?” I simply replied in my best attempt at a disinterested tone.

We walked into the building and I quickly changed into my inside shoes. And as I was changing, something about their conversation felt a little off. But why? And why am I so invested in this anyway? I don’t care about what a bunch of normies do. I shook my head and cleared the conversation from memory.

Classes were the same. I could describe it all in detail, but why bother? Same boring lectures, same boring questions, same boring overachievers…. I don’t mind education, but I seriously dislike having to be in the same room as people who think they are better than others and those who possess the intelligence of a pin needle. It’s frustrating both ways. How do I do in school, you ask? Average. I’m not one to brag, much less care, about my schoolwork. But I do what I have to do to keep on moving forward. I believe that actions speak louder than words, so instead of talking and just saying words that don’t mean anything at all, I’d rather let my work speak for itself.

The time had finally come for the last class of the day. I stared at the clock the entire time while listening to the lesson intermittently. The teacher had asked a question and had apparently called on my name. Deep inside my own thoughts, I didn’t hear my name being called out and had my focus still on the clock. It wasn’t until the teacher was right in front of me and tapped on my desk that I finally paid attention to him.

“Mr. Shiomi,” said the teacher strictly. I immediately stood up and bowed my head in apology. “Please, pay attention in class. You may be one of the class's top scorers, but that doesn’t mean you can just ignore my lectures.”

“Yes sir.”

“Now, please answer the question,” said the teacher, and he repeated the question.

Class finally ended and I was beyond relieved to be able to escape from this hell. I packed up my things and sat back down to wait for the swarm of normies to leave. I learned the hard way that leaving early would only get you caught up in the crowd, something that has now left me with harrowing memories of unnecessary contact and mindless chatter. I intend to avoid this at all cost.

Once the very last person left, I got up and walked to the door to take my own leave. As I did, I noticed something from the corner of my left eye. I quickly turned to see what it was and saw that it was a small object that was left behind by someone. I approached the desk upon which it was left on and immediately knew what it was. It was a tiny keychain doll the size of a palm. The doll was merchandise from a very popular band that I knew very well. The band is actually a foreign band and is one of the biggest names in the metal scene. The doll itself was of the band’s mascot: it was a soft yellow-bodied rabbit skeleton plushie with a cute-yet-devilish smile and its left ear folded forward, dressed in a fluffy cotton black T-shirt and faded blue jeans. I have a few of these dolls back home as mementos from past concerts that I had attended, though the ones I have wear different costumes.

I grabbed it and examined it for a name. You may not believe me, but there are people who put some sort of signature on the back of these dolls to signify that they belong to someone. Ikki does it. Not me though, if that’s what you’re wondering. I found the name at the back of its head, written in large girlish characters: Haru. Haru? Did we have a Haru in our class?

Suddenly, the door to the classroom opened and Haruto Saiki entered. She had on a distressed expression and immediately froze when she saw me. I also froze from surprise upon meeting her eyes. We stayed like this for about a minute or two. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I nevertheless felt compelled to look at her as if it was the normal thing to do. But the more I did, the more I realized that her eyes weren’t fixed on me. They were focused instead on something below my field of vision. ‘What is she staring at?’ I wondered to myself. I followed her line of sight and traced it to the doll in my hand.

‘Haru….’ I repeated the name in my mind and it finally clicked. “Haruto Saiki,” I said aloud without thinking. The school idol let out a quiet squeal at the mention of her name. I turned back to look at her and slowly reached out with the doll. “Is this yours?” I asked her.

She immediately turned her eyes away and clasped her hands behind her back. She whistled and tried to look casual, which wasn’t working at all, and shook her head. The way she was nervously swaying on her heels made me raise an eyebrow of suspicion. ‘Is she for real?’ I asked myself. I shrugged and said, “Then I guess I’ll turn this into the lost-and-found.”

“No!” she quickly screamed.

I flinched at her sudden exclamation and my body froze up in fear. I saw that she had her hand out and a worried expression on her face. Slowly, I approached her hand and held the doll out for her. “I-I-I guess this is yours after all,” I stuttered.

She quickly snatched the doll out of my hand and caressed its ears with a huge smile on her face. “Usa-chan,” she called the doll. I couldn’t help but stare with disbelief at the scene before my very eyes. Never in a million years would I expect to see something like this happen right in front of me.

‘Does she even know what that is?’ I wondered to myself. I sighed and turned away from her. “I bet she only bought it because she thought it was cute,” I said under my breath.

“That wasn’t the only reason,” she said.

I was surprised that she heard me and awkwardly turned back to face her. “W-What do you mean by that?” I asked.

It appeared that the question I had asked was an uncomfortable one since she quickly became quiet and had on an awkward expression on her face. I really had no time for this and began to walk towards the door. What came next was the most unexpected answer ever. “They’re one of my favorite bands,” she finally said.

I did a double take and stared at her with wide eyes. “Come again?” I asked her almost in an excitable tone.

“Iron Rabbit is one of my favorite bands, okay?!” she shouted out with reddened cheeks.

I couldn’t believe it. Was she telling me that she listens to one of the biggest metal bands in the entire world? One of the leaders of the traditional scene from England, probably the biggest of the classic bands, and holders of more than twelve platinum albums—is she saying that she listens to them? Is this for real?!

“Y-You’re kidding, right?” I asked her, expecting that she really was.

“I would never lie when it comes to what I like,” she said with a shake of her head.

“This has gotta be some kind of joke,” I said aloud to myself. “There’s no way that the school idol listens to rock and metal.” I quickly turned back to her and said in an almost accusing tone, “You probably only heard them on the radio or something! Or maybe from trailers and movies!”

“I’ll have you know that I own all of their classic albums!” she stated.

“Really?!” I shouted in disbelief.

“Hah! You should apologize for underestimating me,” she said with a triumphant smile. She then quickly brought her hands to her lips and looked at me with wide eyes filled with anxiety and worry. It was like she had said something that she didn’t mean to, as if she was protecting some kind of secret. I simply tilted my head in confusion and she lowered her eyes. “I guess you found out my secret,” she said. Looks like I was on the money about that. “No one knows about my musical tastes except for a few people,” she said. “Not even my friends know. In fact, they believe that I only listen to today’s hits and the like.”

“To be honest, I thought so too,” I said in an almost consoling way. But when she said that only a few people know of her secret, I became quite curious to know who. That’s when the gears in my mind began to turn and everything started to make sense. ‘Haruto Saiki + metal + few people + last night….’ The memories from last night suddenly returned and the thing that was stamped into my mind but disappeared into the darkness of sleep came back to me. “You’re Eva Nascent, the lead singer of Nijigami!” I said aloud like some kind of detective who had solved a case. She looked at me with bewildered eyes and the pain from last night slowly returned to my cheek.

And then, upon realizing who I was, she quickly said back, “You’re that concertgoer from last night that I hit with my case!”

“You hit me with your case?!” I yelled. Somehow, that was the thing that stood out to me the most. It was probably because I was still holding a grudge against the person responsible for making me wake up with an aching pain on my face.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “When I heard you call my name, I was surprised that someone who knew me came to the concert.”

‘So she didn’t recognize me,’ I realized. Then again, that would’ve made more sense since I try to distance myself from people like her anyway. There was no way that she could know who I was, much less recognize me as one of her classmates. “I see,” I simply said in a casual tone. I then turned my attention back to walking home.

As my feet went through the doorway, I felt Haruto Saiki grab me by the sleeve of my uniform. It shocked me and my body trembled a bit at her touch. I turned my face towards her and noticed that she wore a very anxious expression with furrowed brows, the same expression you would wear when you’re deciding whether or not you should go through with a tough decision.

“W-What is it?” I stammered.

She looked at me with fierce eyes and said, “Swear to me that you will keep this a secret from everyone.”

“Huh?” I replied, confused by the sudden request.

“Swear to me that you will keep this a secret from everyone,” she repeated, emphasizing each and every word.

Ah, I see. Just like me, she’s afraid to be persecuted for her interests. I understand the need to hide your interests from the general public so that you won’t have to live through hell. But Haruto Saiki is an idol, a princess, an angel…so shouldn’t it be alright if her interests get out? She’s still the same person no matter what she likes. No, that’s too naïve of a way to think. People are ruthless. If word gets out that she likes something that is the opposite of “mainstream”, she would for sure become a target by the most normie of the normies. The snot-nosed kid inside of us that always judges others who are different are always present, no matter how old we get. I’m already comfortable enough to live in the darkness between heaven and hell, something that I have already become accustomed to. But I can’t say the same for Haruto Saiki.

I swallowed a gulp and exhaled. I made my decision. I turned to her with a determined look and said, “Sure.”

This one word was enough to bring Haruto Saiki back to her usual cheery self. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed happily. She smiled and I was almost taken aback by how pristine it looked. It was the same smile she wore at the end of last night’s concert. It was a smile that was unhinged and uninhibited, a smile full of freedom and laughter. It was the most honest smile I have ever seen in my life.

I quickly looked away and said, “W-Well, if that’s all, I’ll get going now.” And I promptly left the room.

The next day at school, everything was normal. I was sitting at my desk in the back like always, the normies were having their typical conversations about school and dates and shopping, classes were long and boring—nothing was out of the ordinary. My eyes were focused outside the window on my left (did I mention that I had a window seat?) and I watched as the sun glazed the ground below.

Everything was going as they were meant to be when the voice of someone expected called out to me. I turned my head in their direction and almost fell out of my chair when I realized that Haruto Saiki was standing near my desk. “Good morning,” she said with a smile.

I was speechless and didn’t know how to respond to this unexpected discrepancy. “U-U-Um, sure,” I managed to stammer back.

“You’re Niomi Yoshiki, right?” she said.

Hearing her say my name wrong immediately returned me back to my senses. “It’s Shiomi Yoshiki,” I told her with a scowl.

“Jiomi Yoshiki,” she said with the same smile as before.

“Shiomi! Shiomi! SHI-O-MI!” I told her in an almost hysterical voice. Everyone in class turned their heads in my direction and I quickly quieted down. My face turned red from the embarrassment.

“Sorry,” whispered Saiki with an apologetic smile.

I let out a huff and turned around in my seat to face the front. “So? Is that all you came to tell me?” I asked her a little too harshly.

I glanced over at her and saw her looking around the classroom before producing something from behind her back. She handed it to me with both hands and an excited smile on her face. “Here,” she said. I immediately recognized it as Iron Rabbit’s fourth album. The cover art featured the title rabbit character dressed in a pilot’s uniform saluting to the English flag and military planes in the background. I already had the album at home and was ready to dismiss it when something about it caught my eye. In the right corner of the cover, there was a tiny white ring with a pair of golden rabbit ears inside. My eyes immediately lit up.

“That’s the limited deluxe edition that was released only in Japan two years after the release of the parent album! Only three hundred were ever produced!” I exclaimed excitedly.

“I’ll let you borrow it,” she told me. “You can return it to me once you’re done.”

“R-Really?!” I shouted aloud. Once again, everyone’s eyes turned to me. I quieted down once more and avoided their gazes.

“This is the only album that features the single ‘Khan the Conqueror’,” she told me.

“I heard that the album version actually contains some authentic Mongolian throat singing during the chorus,” I added. “It was cut out in the single version to make it more “palatable” to the average listener. Is that true?”

“You’ll just have to find out for yourself,” she said playfully.

With shaky hands, I took the album and absorbed every single detail of the cover art. I turned it over and read the song names in Japanese in almost breathless awe. I glanced back at Haruto Saiki and she simply smiled at me like a sister who enjoyed seeing her little brother happy. I can’t deny that I really did feel like a child in that very moment.

“Okay then, see ya Shiomi,” said Saiki. And she happily skipped back to join her friends.

“It’s—!" ‘Wait a minute, she got my name right,’ I realized. I looked with curious eyes at the school idol, Haruto Saiki. Somehow, it feels as if we both were the only ones who shared some kind of connection that was absent from her own relationships with her friends. Even though we were both of different worlds, we found middle ground. Is this crazy or what? I didn’t know what to think anymore. I turned my focus back to the album and happily tucked it inside my bag. I can’t wait to blast it once I get home.

Ikki slammed both of his hands on my desk to get my attention, frightening me to the core. I quickly turned to him with an annoyed expression, only to be met with his usual childish grin, “What?” I asked him irritatedly.

“Hey, what’s going on with you and Haruto Saiki?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I responded back.

“I thought that you hated normies like her most of all,” he said back.

“I—.” He wasn’t wrong. Frustrated with his meddlesome behavior, I simply crossed my arms across my chest and gave him the following reply: “It’s nothing at all. Nothing!”