Heavy Metal Outing

It was finally the last day of the school week. Finally! I couldn’t wait for the weekend! During the weekend, as a special reward for surviving another week, I plan on listening to the album Haruto Saiki had given me yesterday.

That’s right. Haruto Saiki was the person who had given me the special album. I was surprised to learn about her musical tastes. It still didn’t seem real at all. The album which I am currently patiently waiting to listen too despite my hard-to-contain excitement was given to me by the school’s idol. As I thought more about this, I began to wonder why. Why did she give it to me anyway? Was it to ensure that I would keep her secret? Was this her way of shutting me up? Was she that scared of her secret getting out? Well, I can tell you one thing—I ain’t nobody’s fool and I won’t be played like one! No matter how much I really…really…really…REALLY want to listen to this album!… One listen couldn’t hurt, right?

“The day’s almost upon us!” Ikki’s voice shook me out of my thoughts and I turned to see him wear a cloud-nine smile on his face.

“You’re band’s playing this weekend,” I remembered.

“Exactly!” he confirmed with an excited nod of his head. “You’re coming, right?” he asked me expectantly.

“You really think I’m going to miss this show?” I asked him rhetorically. He remained silent. Seriously?! Does he really think that low of me?! “Of course!” I told him in an aggravated tone.

“Alright then!” he said goofily. “See ya at the concert!” And then he left my desk with a spring in his step.

I let out an exasperated sigh. Dealing with Ikki is too tiring in many ways more than one. I couldn’t remember anymore what I was previously thinking about. What was I thinking about again? Ah, forget it. I don’t think it was that important anyway.

Lunch break arrived and I was eating by myself in my little corner in the classroom like usual. Ikki would sometimes join me, but most of the time he would sneak into the school’s light music clubroom to play on the drums. He was pretty slick at avoiding teachers and other students. It has gotten to the point where the school had developed a rumor about a lunchtime ghost who would play the drums in the music room four days out of the week.

Today’s lunch was a simple bento of rice, sausages, karaage (fried chicken), and a side salad. I went for the karaage first and relished in my mother’s comforting home-cooking. It’s crunchy texture and sweet and salty flavor was enough to elicit a dreamlike smile from me.

“That looks good!”

I was surprised by the anonymous voice’s sudden appearance and almost swallowed the chicken half-chewed. Some of the pieces got caught in my throat and I choked. I was coughing heavily and quickly reached for my water bottle. I downed more than half of the bottle and cleared my throat from further blockage. It was a harrowing experience that I hope to never experience ever again!

I looked up and saw Haruto Saiki sitting in the empty desk in front of me. “I’m really sorry,” she apologized.

I gulped and simply said, “What do you want?”

“Geez, I apologized,” she said with a pout. “Why are you so prickly?”

“I’m not prickly!” I countered back.

My response made her giggle. I blushed and scowled. “Anyway,” she said, changing the subject, “I wanted to ask you an important question.”

“W-What?” I asked back.

“There’s a band playing at KABANG! this weekend that I want to check out,” she began explaining.

“So? What does that have to do with me?” I asked her sharply.

“I wanted to ask you if you would like to come with me,” she told me.

Wait, what?! She wanted to ask me to go with her?! Why?! If people see us together, wouldn’t they get the wrong idea? I mean, I’m a loner who people avoid and who avoids people! Is she expecting me to suddenly act as her friend or something? That would be bad publicity, wouldn’t it? That would just harm her image, wouldn’t it? I couldn’t care less about her image, but I, as a moral and ethical human being, wouldn’t want to drag someone down to my level! It’s social suicide!

“You’re the only person who knows about my secret,” she elaborated further.

I guess that was true. She didn’t really have any other friends to go with. Except, I’m not her friend. I’m definitely not her friend. We’re nothing more than distant acquaintances!

I wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable with her request, but there had to someone else she could go with, right? It doesn’t have to be a friend or schoolmate or distant acquaintance, right? “What about your bandmates?” I asked her.

“They have plans this weekend,” she told me.

Why, bandmates, why?! I mean, I get it that you guys want a few days off to spend time with family and friends, but why leave your lead singer alone when she just wants to go see a band live?! Is this not a violation of the commandment: Thou shalt not forsake your lead singer for your own pleasures and indulgences?

“So?” she asked me.

All I could do was stutter. She looked at me with pure, innocent, angelic eyes. They bore into my consciousness like drills of ethereal purity. Those puppy-like eyes full of childlike innocence and hope…. I sighed, accepting surrender, and said, “Alright.” She had completely melted my cool heart and split apart the dark clouds that dwelled in my consciousness.

“Thanks!” she squealed excitedly with a huge smile. She then brought out her phone. “Let’s exchange emails,” she said.

“What? Why?” I immediately asked back apprehensively.

“So that I can message you the time and place to meet,” she said back with an ‘uh, duh’ expression on her face.

“Aren’t we meeting at KABANG!?” I asked.

“Geez, why do you have to be such a spoilsport?” she replied back.

“Well, sorry for being reasonable,” I retorted back.

“Just take out your phone,” she told me impatiently. I gulped and did as she said. I brought out my phone and she quickly touched it with hers. A ding rang out, signifying that we had successfully exchanged addresses, and she happily tucked her phone away. “Alright then! See you tomorrow!” she said as she walked away.

I couldn’t believe it. I had never exchanged addresses with a girl before. And now, I have the email address of not just any girl, but the school’s idol. I looked at my phone and there, written in a cute and girly font, was Haruto Saiki’s handle: HeartHaruto. My heart was beating quickly and my cheeks became flustered. I don’t understand why I was reacting like this. I didn’t care about her at all. There was no reason for this! But yet, seeing her name on my phone seemed to lightly pull at me as if slowly leading me away from my comfort zone in the shadowland between heaven and hell.

The weekend arrived and I spent the morning lying in bed. I was looking at my posted videos to see if there were any changes. Except for the increase in views and likes, there wasn’t really any significant changes worth taking notice. Still, I was satisfied knowing that I was still relevant in the minds of many people.

A ding came from my phone and I received a new notification. It was a message. I opened it and realized that it was from Haruto Saiki. “Meet me in front of Shinjuku Station at 2:30!” it read. She followed the message with cute emojis of a train, a rabbit, a microphone, a musical note, and a guitar.

I stared at the message, not knowing how to respond. ‘Should I just write something back? Should I write a short message? Or should I make it longer? What’s the perfect reply? Why am I thinking so hard about this anyway?!’ My mind was a mess. Never before had I let something so mundane and insignificant as a text message mess with me like a fool. I let out a groan. Okay, I made up my mind. I knew exactly how to respond back: “Okay. See you there.” I sent the message. Whew! I finally did it!

It was 2:15 when I left the house. Shinjuku Station was quite a few blocks away from my house. I had put on a black long-sleeved button-down collared shirt and dark blue jeans, something from my personal collection that I normally only wear to special concerts and for occasions when I need to wear “nice clothes”. This doesn’t mean anything, in case you were wondering. I’m only attending a concert with the school idol as an acquaintance, nothing more nothing less.

I arrived at the station a few minutes earlier than our meeting time and waited for Haruto Saiki to arrive. When she did, she called out to me with cupped hands. I turned in her direction and I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Was this real? Or was this a fantasy? I don’t know, but there was no denying the unbelievable sight before me. You might be wondering what I’m talking about, so let me explain.

Haruto Saiki wore a short golden-orange dress with a frilly skirt that ended at her knees. The dress neatly accentuated her curves and fitted nicely to her dainty, fairy-like figure. The frills weren’t showy or extravagant at all; they were subdued like calm rays of sunlight and brilliantly enhanced Saiki’s maiden-like innocence. On top of the dress was a white cashmere jacket, fluffy as cotton and the image of the pure sheep that I so associated with her. Everything combined to showcase her as truly a being on another level. It took my breath away with just one look.

“Are you ready, Hiomi?” she asked me.

Her getting my name wrong brought me out of that headspace and returned me back to reality. “It’s Shiomi,” I told her indignantly.

“I know,” she replied cheerfully with a smile before quickly taking me by the hand. “Let’s go!” she said and she dragged me along with her without my consent. I couldn’t do anything to stop her and before I knew it, we had arrived at a music shop.

“A music shop?” I asked her.

“We have some time before the concert,” she casually said. “Let’s just kill some time here.”

I wasn’t all that amused by the idea. She said that we were only going to meet up and go to a concert together, and that was all I had planned today for “things to do with other people”. If I knew that the concert was at a later time, I would’ve waited until that time to meet up and spent the rest of my day cultivating my videos. “I’m going home,” I simply told her. I began to walk off in the direction that we came from.

“But we’re already here!” she said in an almost whiny voice. I simply replied back with a raised hand in a farewell gesture. Suddenly, I felt a vibration in my pocket and took out my phone. I opened it and was brought to the messaging app. It was a simple emoji of a giant angry face. You can already guess who it was from. I glanced back and saw her making a very childish face with her cheeks puffed out and her lips in a duck-like pout. We stayed like this for a minute or two before I reluctantly admitted defeat and walked back. I was amazed at her stubbornness and unwavering determination.

We walked in and she quickly walked over to the rock section. Again, I was amazed at her musical tastes. It just didn’t make much sense to me. But I know better than to question the interests of others. I followed her and lazily browsed the albums. This might be blasphemous for me to say, but I wasn’t at all interested in buying music at this moment. I was only here based on the whims of another.

“Check this out!” squealed Saiki. I turned in her direction and she held up a large vinyl record. I recognized the LP cover in an instant. This was Voodoo Pieces’ 2004 release “Hellblazer”. I always thought that the Minotaur knight dressed in leather and a metal helmet and riding a flaming motorcycle was one of the coolest album covers of all time!

“Is that one of your favorites too?” I asked her.

Saiki nodded her head yes. “I especially loved the collaboration they did with PeachZCloverz!”

“The J-Pop group?” I asked.

“Hey, they’re pretty good,” she defended the group.

“I thought you said that you don’t listen to pop and stuff like that?” I asked her.

“I didn’t say that,” she replied. “I said that I don’t only listen to today’s hits and things of that nature. My musical tastes are actually quite varied, thank you very much.”

Now that I think about it, I did remember her saying something like that. “But you like rock and metal the most?” I assumed.

“Pretty much,” she answered with a nod. “There’s just something about it that makes feel energized and renewed as if I’ve been spiritually reborn!” Her eyes were full of sparkles as she said those words like an enlightened spiritual leader. I couldn’t help but marvel at her love and appreciation for the genre.

“But don’t you think that the genre’s too loud?” I asked her reasonably.

“Classical music is loud too,” she responded.

“They don’t use a lot of good words,” I appealed.

“There's a lot of swears in rap,” she reasoned.

“But the lyrics,” I attempted.

“Not a lot of today’s pop songs are clean either,” she replied.

“How about the singing style and screams?” I asked.

“That’s actually been quite popular recently,” she answered back. “It’s amazing to see how it has crossed so many genres now.” She then pouted her lips and said, “Geez, why are you asking me all of these questions? Is it really too hard to believe that I like it?”

I didn’t know why I was trying to make these excuses about the genre. I myself wouldn’t have liked it if these were the points normies would make to me about the music genre either. Was it because I just couldn’t believe that someone like her could really enjoy the same genre as me? I was deeply ashamed of myself. “I’m sorry,” I apologized glumly.

“Next time you bring this up, I won’t share anymore of my exclusive albums I have back home,” she added irritatedly. She then took out her phone and quickly said, “It’s time! Let’s go!” And we both dashed out of the store and straight for the live house.

We arrived at KABANG! just in time before the show started. We paid the dues and walked inside. There was a sizeable crowd inside that almost filled the entire building to its capacity.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Moriuchi Juri, the live house’s owner, walked over to us. “Never before would I imagine you two coming here together,” she said with a catlike smile. “You kids been well?”

“I’ve been better,” I mumbled under my breath.

“What was that?” she asked in a loud voice. Everyone’s heads suddenly turned to our direction.

“I-I-I’m fine!” I answered with an almost-hysterical tone. Juri laughed at my reaction, which made my cheeks red. She knew that I couldn’t handle being the center of attention and she had used it against me for her own enjoyment. I really didn’t like this about her at all.

She then turned to Saiki and asked, “How’s it going with your band? Usually, when you come here to the shows, you’re always accompanied by at least one of your members.”

“They’ve got stuff to do,” replied Saiki. “Goro just had another child, Hayate has to study for end-of-term finals, and Naoki is helping his professor with a research project.”

“I see,” said Juri with an understanding nod. “Must be hard being the youngest member of the band.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t know that the other band members were older than Saiki. In fact, I had assumed that they were all high school students or something. “Are they all college students?” I asked her.

“Everyone except Goro,” she said. “Oh, he’s our drummer.” Suddenly, the lights dimmed down and the stage lit up. “Ooh, the show’s starting!” she quickly yelped in joy.

“Enjoy the show,” said Juri. She then turned to me and winked. “He’ll be happy to see you here.” And then she walked off.

The band came on stage and what Juri had said earlier quickly made sense. Tonight’s band was none other than Blue Year, Ikki’s band. Ikki, in addition to being their drummer, was also the band’s spokesman. Perfect for his extroverted personality. He approached the microphone and spoke. “We’ve finally made it to KABANG!” he announced to the crowd. Everyone cheered and applauded. “Thank you all for showing up! We’ve got a very special show for you for our very first live house debut! Hope you enjoy!” He was then about to put the microphone back down when he spotted me in the crowd. My heart immediately sank when our eyes met. Ikki quickly brought the microphone back to his lips and said, “This song is dedicated to that guy right there! He’s my best friend in the entire world!” Ikki, trying his hardest to make my life a living hell, pointed his finger directly at me. Everyone of course followed his finger to me. I was now under the scrutiny of a hundred staring eyes. And the worst part of it was that I couldn’t shrink back or disappear. There was no place to escape to! From near the entrance, I could hear Juri laughing her heart out. Worst. Moment. Ever!

The band then began their set and everyone’s attention once again turned to the main attraction. I let out a sigh of relief. My heart was still beating pretty fast and my face hadn’t lost its redness, though.

“You know him?” Saiki asked me.

I gave that statement some thought before answering with an adamant, “No.”

The first song they played was called “Japanese Doll in an American Mall”. Don’t ask me about the name. I just know that Ikki comes up with the lyrics and song titles. Unexpected, right? He may not be a poet, but, and given his genre of punk, he knows how to create strong images with excellent word choice and tell direct stories without any hidden meanings.

They finished the first song and moved on to the second: “Brain Waves and X-Rays”. Seriously, don’t ask me about the song titles. Once the riff hit, Saiki jumped up and down excitedly. “This is my favorite song of theirs!” she told me.

“You know this song?” I asked her curiously.

She wore a smug smile and said, “I have some friends in the underground tape-trading business.”

I frowned and simply replied with, “That’s illegal, you know.”

“Please don’t tell anyone about that!” she quickly pleaded.

I laughed at her reaction. No matter what kind of music she listens to, she was still the innocent and pure idol of my high school. The contradiction between expectation and reality was starting to appeal to me as some kind of surreal joke that I just couldn’t help but laugh.

As I was laughing my heart out, Saiki wore a pout and jabbed me in the stomach. “What’s so funny?” she asked irritatedly. “You just like to make fun of me, don’t you?”

I was slowly calming down and apologized for my behavior. “I just can’t imagine that the high school angel would engage in something as shady as underground tape-trading,” I giggled.

“You think so too?” she asked me.

“Think what?” I asked back.

“You think that I’m some kind of angel?” Her expression was a little sad.

I quickly sobered up and cleared my throat. “Doesn’t everybody?” I answered back.

“I see,” she said with a small smile.

Her blue eyes became melancholic, pitiable like the eyes of a miserable little girl. They made my heart rumble and let an unknown feeling pour into me. No, not unknown—unusual. I had never felt this specific feeling since long ago. The feeling was misery. Except this time, I wasn’t feeling misery for myself, but for Haruto Saiki. Why? I don’t really know myself. But it must be because of those eyes. Those miserable, melancholic, pitiful eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I told her.

That got her attention and she immediately asked, “About what?”

“For judging you before I even got to know you,” I told her. That’s right. For all of my talk on not wanting to be judged by others and hating people for being judgmental without reason, I myself had been judging Haruto Saiki to be a little-miss-perfect idol. My expectations were just like the normies of my school. I grimaced at my own hypocrisy. “I shouldn’t have said all of that,” I continued guiltily. I wasn’t asking for forgiveness. I just wanted to repent for my sins against her. In the greatest show of humility I can offer, I bowed my head in apology and said, “I apologize for judging you based on what others have said instead of getting to know you myself. I know the feeling of being judged. Yet, I have done the same thing to you. I deeply apologize for my hypocrisy.” I peeked up at her from through my hair and noticed her eyes changing. Those eyes, they have made me realize the truth of my foolishness. But even then, I never want to see them again. Not for my own sake, but for Saiki’s.

“Geez, what are you going on about?” said Saiki with a laugh. She playfully pushed me back and I stumbled a bit before managing to catch myself from falling. I looked up at her and saw her returning back to her usual self. “Come on,” she said, reaching out her hand, “let’s enjoy the show.”