A REAL Predicament

There are two problems that I have to answer.

“Is that so?” Arabella asked. She took a seat under the shade of the big tree. “Then we should talk more about each other before we go further.”

THAT’S what I was suggesting, my lady!

Kousuke also took a seat, beside her. Although that woman was a crazy bitch, she was still beautiful. So, sitting beside a beauty who proposed to him made him excited, like there was something poking his chest. It was fluffy. And nervous.

There was also a nice breeze, so her hair was fluttering. And when she brushed her hair and smiled at him, it levitated the impact in his heart.

“Can I kiss you?” he said.

“Let’s save that for our wedding.”

A SCAM! I’m really really sure about it! She is a scammer!

“Where do you come from? If you can’t be honest about it, I don’t think it’s feasible to proceed with our relationship further.”

Kousuke gazed at the sky, reminiscing about his hometown. “A nation called Japan,” he said. “Although there are some pervert old men, questionable anime about a dog, and other problems, it’s still my hometown, a country that I’m already familiar and comfortable with. Therefore, there is no other great place like Japan.”

That colleague always dragged me to watch an isekai anime. So I’m sure I was dead.

Last time I was in a reconnaissance operation, and I didn’t remember how I died. It must have been instantaneous. And I also became a dumbass.

Therefore, my conclusion: something blew my head and made me transported to this world.

“You don’t seem to lie,” she responded. “Do you want to go back to your hometown?”

“I don’t think I can go back, and I don’t want to. Let’s say once I arrive here, then I have to live here.”

“Is Japan a floating island like that?” Arabella pointed to the floating island in the sky.

“Nah. It’s an archipelago surrounded by the sea.”

“Of course. Is there any archipelago that’s surrounded by grass? It’s an ARCHIPELAGO, after all.”

This bitch.

“I have no aristocratic title. Isn’t there going to be a problem if you marry me, my lady?”

“Durant Deroulade is the youngest son of Lord Deroulade. He died young. Not many people knew him. So I can ask Lord Deroulade to pretend that you are Durant.”

“Huh? Can Lord Deroulade accept that easily?”

“Of course. He is just a viscount. He can’t beat us, a duchy.”

Power abuse!

“Besides, Lord Deroulade will be my father-in-law. Isn’t that a profit?”

“Why do you want to marry me, my lady? Am I an interesting toy for you?”

“Is not like that.” Arabella threw away her glance from Kousuke. She looked at the scenery before the hill and smiled. “Everyone knows about my father, Boethus Dekever.”

“Everyone respects him. He died protecting his people. He also left a useful book about our duchy and a warning for his people about two-headed bats in the Bat Dungeon.

He is our hero. And my father.”

“Wait a minute. It has nothing to do with me,” Kousuke retorted.

“That’s why you should listen to a story until it has been finished. It seems you also lack ethics, Sir Dumbass.”

I swear... I swear...!

Arabella resumed her story. “I, too, want to leave a legacy for my people. It’s my dream to travel around the world and write a guidebook. A book about monsters and unknown yet exciting places. It thrills me, and I think it will be my proudest achievement.”

She toned down her voice. “However, it was only a dream. There was no way Mother would let me travel to dangerous places. But I didn’t want to be a mere woman of someone. If I had to marry, I wanted a man who respected me, loved me, and assisted my dream even if we couldn’t fully achieve it.”

She looked fondly at Kousuke and smiled. “Then I found you,” Arabella said, hugged her legs, and put her cheek on her knee.

“If I have an invisible man, then I can ask him to venture to dangerous places and report to me whatever he finds out. To make me happy.

It won’t be dangerous for me. And Mother can’t argue.”

Aren’t I just your cannon fodder?! That’s also a toy!

Kousuke sighed. “Fine. But you have to do your duty as a wife. And give me some money for a while because I’m very poor right now.”

“Sure,” she replied, “you are not that ugly and aren’t a crude man. As I could see from your initial refusal of my proposal and resolve to not hurt me, although I was a bitch.”

So you ARE aware.

“So I think I can love you in the end. Or at least, I won’t hate you. And I promise, I’ll be faithful, and you have to promise that too,” she said.

Kousuke extended his arm and touched the grass. He pulled out the grass and made a circle, a ring, of grass. He faced Arabella and knelt. “I think at least I have to do this.”

“Oh my. How romantic.” Arabella gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She then smiled and stood up. And she gave her left hand to Kousuke.

“My lady. I vow I’ll be faithful to you and give my time and affection to you. Would you like to be with me, for the rest of our lives?”

“Although the procedure is messed up and thus it’s not official, I accept your proposal and vow to be your wife. My Dumb Knight.”

Can you at least make this romantic till the end?!

Kousuke then slipped the grass ring onto Arabella’s ring finger. And that would be the beginning of their romantic journey, as a future husband and wife.

“By the way. We are just going to be betrothed. Who knows you do something shameful later, so I have to be careful. I have to.”

SEE? She is a SCAM!

“Alright. But before we visit your mother, let me pack my stuff and think for a while. I’m still confused about my current situation and also tired,” Kousuke said and put his knife into his drag bag. Then he held his head and lay on the grass, feeling the breeze.

“Okay. Take your time.” Arabella then sat beside him.

Kousuke closed his eyes and imagined some random physics equations zooming out of his forehead.

One of my problems was answered. She needs me because of my cheat, and I don’t have to worry anymore about food, shelter, and jobs.

However, there is one remaining problem: why doesn’t it hurt?

It had been proven that I could only be hurt by a mere tool or whatever I brought to this world. I also felt hungry.

If that’s the case, there is only one answer: this world treats me as a player, an avatar, to be exact. That’s my cheat, and I assume it was given by God who transported me into this world.

Avatars in Astarthe Online won’t die if they fall. They won’t bleed either. And of course, players can’t feel hurt by any dangers there. It’s just a game!

Even when their HP reaches zero, they won’t die. They just revive.

Their avatars can eat food, drink potions, take a shit, or sleep in Astarthe Online, although those are just emoticons or happen during the story cut scenes. Therefore, it’s logical I can also feel hungry here. And this world can’t kill me.

The knife could hurt me because I brought it from the real world. And it’s likely I can die of old age because the avatars are just humans, and humans can die like that in ASO.

Yeah, I think this is the most reasonable answer.

Suddenly, Kousuke opened his eyes and jolted. Hold on. Wait a minute. There is one feature that’s not supported by Astarthe Online.

“My lady,” he said and raised his body. “I will be behind that tree for a bit. Don’t be curious, okay? You’ll regret it. Trust me.”

Arabella just smiled and nodded. “I promise. Think of it as proof that I can be faithful.”

“Alright. I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

Kousuke went behind the tree. He was verifying his suspicion.

And he came to a realization.

Oh, shit.

I CAN’T GET HARD!