Pun Detectives and the Case of the Kidnapped Kitten! (Part 16)

And that was that.

It wasn’t the end of this story, of course.

Lily and I made Sheldon promise he would apologize to Wednesley and report what he had done to the school. He was getting off easy, but it was all we could do. Lily and I may have been official members of the FPI, but all that gave us authority to do was investigate. In fact, we were lucky Sheldon was so cooperative. If he wasn't, things could have gone real south real fast. We had no say over what he did, or what happened to him, from here on out. He had complete impunity, at least from us. Any repercussions he faced now would come at the hands of the karate club and the school. Considering who was in charge of the latter, I didn’t see Sheldon facing any serious punishment for his crimes, or getting any help working on his twisted, selfish attitude either.

As for the former? Monty, Tuesday, and Wednesley may have had a word or two, or quite possibly a fist or two, or six, for Sheldon. But vigilante justice aside, things would probably just go back to normal after this.

That was what I thought as, finally back home, I sunk my hand into a bowl of ice. A chill ran up my spine and I shivered involuntarily, but the dull, searing pain felt better almost instantly. By the time we left Sheldon’s place, Teabone in tow, my hand was about the size of a basketball, and the color of one too. Well, ok, not really. But that’s how it felt. The pain of the swelling hit me all at once. I’d been too focused on the Sheldon situation to really pay any attention to it until then.

“Boss,” Lily had said, concern in her eyes, “I will take things from here. I will return Teabone to Wednesley today, and let the karate club know to meet us after school on Monday so we can explain to them what happened. Just leave everything to me for now. Please go home and take care of your hand.”

Didn’t have to tell me twice. Hand immersed in an ice water soup, I sighed. Talk about taking one for the team. This was only our first job and already I’d been injured. No workers’ comp here. I’d have to make do with this mini ice bath.

As soon as I was done soaking my hand, I climbed into bed, surrendering to the welcome embrace of familiar sheets, so tuckered out that I went ahead and tucked myself in for a good, long snooze even though it was still midday. I was ready for it. This was probably the single wildest ride of a day I’d been through in, let’s see… add the three, carry the 1, square the circle… about a week. And on top of it all, I’d been up since before dawn. I was more than ready to sleep it off with a cat nap of my own.

Still, I had to hand it to Lily, and even to myself. All things considered, we made a pretty good team. Sure, things may not have gone exactly according to plan, but when did they? Even if Sheldon was probably going to get let off the hook, we still got Teabone back. At the end of the day, all was well that ended well.

Just one problem.

This wasn’t the end of the day.

It was only, like, four in the afternoon.

And I was about to realize that things were far from over.

Just as I was drifting off into slumber, my eyes widened in an instantaneous snap, single-reflex shutters of flesh. I went flush. I felt like I’d just been dipped into boiling hot water.

I’d had a realization. A sudden, amazing, hairbrained realization.

My warm and cozy covers came flying off, landed in a heaping wrinkly mess of creases and tangles at the foot of my bed, more neatly folded than they’d been in weeks. I’d had this sinking suspicion for a while now, this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sinking into slumber was enough to get the rest of me to catch up with it, I guessed. I always did have my best ideas on the brink of sleep. Like that time when I was falling asleep in class (back when we had desks to fall asleep on) and the choreo for an all-panda trapeze act popped into my head all at once. Suck it, shower thoughts. Sleep thoughts for the win.

All was well that ended well.

All was well that ended well!

ALL WAS WELL THAT ENDED WELL!!!!

The saying ricocheted through my brain on repeat.

All was well that ended well. OR WAS IT!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

My phone was plugged into an outlet, charging. I grabbed it so quick I practically pulled the socket out with it. 4:17 p.m. Good. Lily probably hadn’t taken Teabone back to Wednesley yet. Which meant I still had time.

I ordered the barely coherent scramble of thoughts in my head into the clearest message I could muster and sent it to Lily, hoping she would get the gist, which was basically:

Don’t return Teabone to Wednesley yet.

Don’t say anything to the karate club.

Don’t do anything except meet me with Teabone. Karate club room. 5:30 sharp.

And most importantly: just trust me.

I may sound insane. Hell, I may be insane. But just. Trust me.

Something wasn’t right here, and I had the craziest hunch as to what that something was.

If I was right, and I was hoping beyond hope that this was one of the rare times in life that I was, then we’d seriously missed the forest for the trees.

If I was right, Sheldon’s was only half this story.

If I was right, this whole kitten caboodle— err, kit and caboodle had itself another culprit.

If I was right, that culprit was still at large.

If I was right, I knew who it was.

The end of Pun Detectives and the Case of the Kidnapped Kitten! (Part 16)!
To be continued in Part 17!