Point of no return

We took a quick break after that, and I decided to go outside for some fresh air. It was raining, but I didn’t mind. I stood there, taking it all in as it poured down and soaked me. While standing under the sky’s shower, I started to consciously take some deep breaths. It had been a long since I had done that, but now was probably the perfect time, as this was the night before the storm. Once we’d started our attack, there would be no turning back.

It reminded me of a video game where you get a notification before the final level that you have reached a point of no return, and once you cross that threshold there would, as the name suggests, no return. You wouldn’t be able to run across the world and explore everything, so take a minute and make sure you’ve done everything you need to do, and more importantly, everything you want to. That’s basically the message that the game would be sending you through that simple notification: “The point of no return.” Our situation right now was oddly similar, for some reason.

I instinctively reached into my pocket for a cigarette, before realizing that I wasn’t on Earth once my hand touched nothing. This was probably the first time on Obrillis that I had done that, before it was more of a reflex or an instinct, but I had to massively dial back on it due to my transmigration. One of my coping mechanisms was gone, but I hadn’t felt the effects because I found a new one, a far more effective one at that. I’d attempted, and mostly succeeded, at becoming a brand new person. At having a second chance.

If I hadn’t broken down in her arms, I would have probably called off the entire operation and opted to remain in this place. Yet, was what I was doing right now really better? It was selfish, I was putting this entire planet in massive danger simply because I wanted to return home.

“Hey.” A voice called out behind me, I turned around to see Louise exiting the entrance. “What are you doing here?”

“Just trying to relax.” I told her. “Trying to take a break, my entire time here’s been really hectic.”

“You’ve had over a week to relax.”

“I know, but for some reason, I didn’t take the time to stop and consider myself. I was worried about everything.”

“And now?” She asked.

“I’m still worried, don’t get me wrong. But I’m trying not to think about it too much, to be honest.”

Louise nodded and then walked up and stood by my side, also getting soaked. I wanted to tell her to not get wet, but then I thought twice about it, realizing how hypocritical that would sound coming from me. We stood there in silence, the only sound coming from the rain dropping everywhere around us. I titled my head to look at her, but she noticed so I quickly looked away.

“It’s fine, you can stare at me all you want, I know I’m gorgeous.” She giggled.

“No, hold on a second, it’s not like that!” My face turned red as my brain desperately scrambled to make excuses.

“You’re really easy to tease, you know that?” she said.

“Sorry.”

“No, that’s not a bad thing, at all!”

“So, uh, why’re you here anyways?” I decided to change the subject before I ended up getting embarrassed any further.

“I wanted to ask you for advice.”

“I’m not really that good with any sort of advice, but shoot.”

“Let’s uh, let’s say, hypothetically, there’s something important that I have to confess to a certain someone.” Louise said, not being subtle at all.

“Is it a love confession?” I teased

“M-Maybe that’s a part of it, but not everything. It’s complicated.”

“I see. And does this certain someone happen to be a person familiar to me?”

“No comment.” She stifled a laugh.

“Well first of all, you have to ask yourself if that person really is deserving of love, you know? If they did something really bad to you or a family member, that’s an important thing to take into consideration, especially if you two aren’t really that close at all.”

“It’s fine, they haven’t done anything to a family member of mine, don’t worry. I happen to know that they’re a really good person, since we’re pretty close.”

I tried my best not to let the shock show on my face. What an arrogant fool! I’d for some reason assumed that the person Louise was talking about was me, but that wasn’t it at all! Of course, who would like someone like me, after all? Don’t be stupid, jack.

“I see.” Was all that I said, as I didn’t really know how else to respond.

“But see, the thing is, that person thinks they did something bad to me.” She suddenly continued. “I don’t know how to tell them that I still love them no matter what, but it feels like they’re starting to pull away from me because they feel like they don’t deserve it.”

I could understand that person’s feelings, after all they were similar to mine. I was all too familiar with the feeling that I didn’t belong, and that I should distance myself from others, convincing myself that it was for their own good. How would I want someone to react to me, in that case? Should I give her my honest opinion, or should I try to smooth things over?

“Maybe you should consider that person’s feelings, and why they’re doing what they’re doing.” I decided to be honest. “Maybe you should trust them and leave them alone.”

“I…I see, maybe you’re right.” She had a saddened look on her face, an expression I don’t think I had seen before. Of course, that expression was quickly gone, but I didn’t know if that was courtesy of Obrillis or if she faked it purposefully.

“Thanks for the talk.” Louise smiled and walked back inside.

I waited for a couple of minutes and then returned as well.