He benefits too. [0.5 chapter]

“Alright, I’ll join you on the roof again. It is nice up there.”

“Nice, then it’s a date.”

I think I’ve figured out the best way to keep him close. Thinking back on what he said after we almost hooked up, I think Taro’s a person who desperately wants affection from someone. Considering he seemed totally into it at the start, I think he was completely on board with the hookup until he realised that I don’t really treat sex as a type of affection.

If I wanna keep him around, meeting that need is probably the best thing for it. Works out well for both of us, too. He gets the affectionate treatment he wants so bad, and I get to keep an interesting person in my circle. Plus the chance that he really might be my golden bullet.

***

“Hey, hold still for a moment.” As I lean in close to his face, his cheeks go red and he looks a little shocked. This is only exacerbated when I actually wipe the crumbs on his lip away with my hand.

If just things like that are good enough to have his heart racing, I might not even need to pull out any dirty tricks to keep him around. Just little actions that indicate that I consider us close.

Still, getting him to actually fall for me is probably something I should avoid. There’s little problem with little bits of affection and flirtation, but entering into an actual relationship with someone for whom you have no real romantic feelings is a little too cruel and can get you labelled as a cold-blooded heartbreaker. And rejecting him would probably make him avoid me altogether, considering how awkward he was after leaving mid-hookup.

So good friends with a subtly flirty relationship is probably the optimal way to go about this. Not too committal, but serious enough that I don’t risk losing him.

“How’s your first few days been, by the way? Settling’ down and shit?”

“Uhh… I suppose it’s been okay. The first day was rough, but I think I’m slowly starting to adjust.” 

“Cool cool. Made any friends or enemies yet?”

“Outside of you, the only person I’ve really talked to is Yosuke. He seems like a nice guy, helped me out a lot in CS. I would like to hope I won’t be making any enemies.”

“Ahhh, I had a feeling you and him would get along well. Don’t go ditching me for him though, I’ll get lonely.”

Just a few words, a wink and a smile and he’s completely flustered. Not making him actually fall for me might be harder than I thought if this is the route I decide to take. Giving him little bits of affection and physical intimacy will definitely work to make him want to stick around, but just a little too much and I risk having to break his heart, and that’ll ruin everything.

Still, I think this one is safe to use today.

“You’re really cute when you’re flustered, y’know. I might really be starting to like you.”

It’s not technically a lie. Taro’s an interesting person to me, and his company is entertaining, so in that respect I really am starting to like him. And he is also really cute when he’s flustered, in the same way a baby or an animal is cute. Nothing I said had any inherently romantic meaning, which he’ll likely realise and tell himself is proof that he’s overthinking.

He also won’t believe I have actual romantic feelings for him. He’s too smart for that. But he’s also too kind, and likely thinks that this is just my way of trying to get closer to people since I can’t do so naturally.

Which he’d not be entirely wrong about, my biggest aim here is definitely to see if I’ve finally found someone I can care about as an equal, but I can’t act like my aims are noble or anything. I have no intention of actually entering a relationship with him, I just think he may be part of the solution to the problem I’ve had trouble with all this time.

I’ll keep him happy, he’ll keep me interested, maybe I’ll learn what I’ve been missing this whole time. A win-win all around.