I’m on a date. [Do-over]

A date? What? Since when are we going on dates? She didn’t mean with the whole group? Did I miss something? Was there a miscommunication somewhere? Do I bring it up? Do I just let it happen? Does she mean an actual romantic date or is she just using it as a figure of speech? Can she even develop romantic feelings? Is that an insulting question to ask? Is it more insulting to just assume she can when she might not be able to? Is she inviting me on a date just to try to get me in bed again? Is this another attempt to form a connection? Could it work? Is sh-

“Uhh, dude? Something wrong?” I snap out of it and realise I’ve just been mindlessly starting at Hanji for several seconds. Her declaration had caught me so off guard that I got lost in my own thoughts again.

“Ah- sorry, still just a little spacey.”

“Well snap out of it, man, lunch don’t last forever, let’s go.”

“R-right.”

‘A little spacey’ my ass. Maybe I’m just paranoid but my brain is fried trying to figure out all the possible implications of that one word.

‘Date.’

Why say that? Maybe she really was just using it as a figure of speech and I’m the one overthinking it.

Unless she said it to manipulate me. She could be using words like ‘date’ to try and prod me into developing a romantic interest that she can exploit.

No, that’s definitely the paranoia talking. For all her talk of seeing humans and objects the same way, she does seem pretty committed to not hurting people.

She wouldn’t do that. Yeah. I can trust her that much… right?

***

“You really love the view up here, huh?”

“I do. It’s peaceful, makes a nice change from the crowded halls and stuff.” I look out over the edge of the roof, watching the small town from above. It’s a sight that sets my heart at ease, which is something I appreciate a lot considering the stress I’ve been under these past few days.

As I’d anticipated, Hanji didn’t invite anyone except me to eat together today. As to what her intentions are, I’m completely none the wiser, but for whatever reason she’s brought me here for a “date” and made sure we’re alone. She even closed the roof door behind us, insisting she’d be able to re-pick the lock from this side too.

Regardless of why she invited me here, I highly doubt she sees any romantic undertones here. I’m probably just getting in my own head over nothing.

“Hey, hold still for a moment.” She leans forward, so close that I can feel her breath on my face, and slowly wipes some food off the edge of my mouth.

New theory: she’s trying to give me a heart attack.

I’ve seen green stop signs that send fewer mixed messages than this girl. First she tries to hook up with me, then she says we should start over as friends, now she’s inviting me on dates and pulling shit like that?

Is it a manipulation tactic? Was my prior guess right, and she’s trying to spur on some romantic interest to keep me wrapped around her finger? Or does she just genuinely have no idea why all of this is so weird?

Despite my worries, I also don’t want to just call her out or accuse her of anything. Everyone I know here other than Hanji herself is a member of her entourage, and pissing her off would be a one way ticket to social isolation. I don’t want my paranoia to cause me to get ostracised.

Besides, I can’t say I’m not a little excited about the prospect of being on a date. Physically, Hanji is incredibly attractive. So much so that she’s a country mile out of my league. Plus, despite her poor grasp on empathy she hasn’t actually treated me poorly, at least not in any ways that she didn’t immediately learn from.

I’m not… already growing attached, am I? I mean, she’s a sociopath, she doesn’t even have the capacity to care about me. All of this is probably just her way of manipulating me.

But even with that in mind, being around her makes me feel… strangely safe? In such a hostile environment, her kindness has been a blessing that I scarcely feel I deserve. Even if her motives were self serving, she’s been helpful since the moment I got here.

Her actions make my paranoia go haywire, but her presence is also the thing that settles it. Somehow she’s both my biggest anxiety and my biggest comfort.

“How’s your first few days been? Settlin’ down and shit?” The long silence is casually broken by Hanji, once again engaging me with a conversation topic she likely doesn’t really care about.

“Uhh… I suppose it’s been okay. The first day was rough, but I think I’m slowly starting to adjust.”

“Cool cool. Made any friends or enemies yet?”

“Outside of you, the only person I’ve really talked to is Yosuke. He seems like a nice guy, helped me out a lot in CS. I would like to hope I won’t be making any enemies.” I end my sentence with a nervous chuckle, but the possibility does actually weigh on my mind. In a place with people like Akihiko, earning a vendetta from someone is a serious possibility.

“Ahhh, I had a feeling you and him would get along well. Don’t go ditching me for him though, I’ll get lonely.” She gives a flirtatious wink and grin as she talks, and for a moment my heart almost stops entirely.

From anyone else I’d take her actions as a sign she’s into me, but from Hanji it must be part of some game plan. Does she actually want me to fall for her? Is this part of how she tries to make friends? Is she trying to fuck me again? I just can’t make heads or tails of it.

Why has this incredibly hot, incredibly popular girl taken an interest in me? Under other circumstances my assumption would be “I’m in a coma and this isn’t real,” but this case may be even more confusing.

Yosuke insists that Hanji wants to make real emotional connections but doesn’t know how. Is that what this is? She’s trying to build some sort of bond?

“You’re really cute when you’re flustered, y’know. I might really be starting to like you.”

No, now I’m certain. She’s definitely trying to kill me.