It's complicated

‘You… You pushed my boundaries. It’s your own fault.’

But his brooding was cut short by a gasp from the kitchen. It was mom with a worry etched on her face.

‘What’s wrong? What happened?’ she asked.

‘I…’ he struggled to find the words, but exhaustion overpowered his attempts. He shook his head and motioned her to go away.

‘You can’t just barge in like this and not give me an explanation. Did someone say something hurtful to you again? Wait.’

She quickly dipped into the bathroom and came back with a towel, gently putting it on his head.

‘Please, just let me be,’ he finally managed to say.

She took a step back. ‘Dave… You can talk to me. Dry yourself up while I make you a cup of tea and I will listen, okay?’

Miira’s voice still lingered, gnawing at him. ‘Can I please come to your side? I’m scared!’

‘Stop treating me like a child,' he threw the towel on the ground. ‘I don’t want your stupid tea or talk. You’re always butting in at the wrong time. Can’t you see I want to be alone? Ever heard of boundaries?’ he snapped.

He threw his soaked shoes on the floor before storming into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

However, it was a pointless escape as Dave was met with another unpleasant face. He grimaced in disgust.

‘So ugly and boring…’ he thought as he took his shirt off. ‘You’re lucky, really. You dodged a bullet. On the other side, there was only disappointment waiting.'

He stared down the drain while leaning on the sink. ‘Now you’re just another voice I have to silence.’

He filled the sink with cold water, took a deep breath, and plunged his face into it. Violently, he swallowed the air as his body contorted and tried its best to pull out. Familiar with the drill, he concentrated on the task.

‘One, two, three, four, five…’  and he resurfaced. ‘But who am I kidding? It was just a game for you, wasn’t it?’

He repeated the process until there were no more thoughts. Finally, he sat on the floor, exhausted, empty. He closed his eyes and stayed frozen for a moment. Then he got up as if wounded and exited the bathroom.

He stopped in his tracks and listened. A soft sob of mom came from parents’ bedroom while dad gently repeated, ‘You are a wonderful mom.’ His heart sank as he felt his face heat up. Slowly, he backed away to his room. It was empty and boring. A shell, a replica of some real room elsewhere. A paper room.

***

As Monday rolled in, Dave found himself utterly drained of energy. He struggled to keep his eyelids from drooping as Professor Parks gave his lecture just a few meters away. However, despite his efforts, he couldn't help but nod off, only to be jolted awake by a sharp pain in his ribs, courtesy of Luca's elbow.

‘Parks is looking our way. If you were planning on sleeping, should’ve sat in the back,’ he whispered.

‘I’m not sleeping. Just resting my eyes,’ Dave knitted his arms.

Luca was the only person from the game Dave knew in real life and the only university friend he made. It wasn't that Dave had trouble making friends; he simply chose not to. He found people's interests lied in trivial matters like dating and partying, which didn’t interest him much.

When the lecture concluded, it was lunchtime. As they made their way to the cafeteria, Luca voiced his complaints about the upcoming coursework and exams, which, as usual, he had not started working on.

‘You had a month and a half to get on them,’ Dave pointed out.

‘That’s not how it works for me. I’m the last minute kind of guy. It’s like a whole new part of my brain gets unlocked when I have the bare minimum of time left. You know what I mean?’ he said rather cheerfully, to which Dave replied with a shrug. ‘Anyway, how’s the new update for you? Cleared the Refinery already?’

Dave sighed, looking at the lunch options as they arrived at their destination. ‘Yeah, a couple of times.’

‘Really? Well, no wonder. You have Miira and Deilo. Those guys slap. How is it going with them? Was a pretty rocky start for you, huh?’

‘Sure.’

They both grabbed their usual spaghetti bolognese, a dish that always left much to be desired. The only saving grace for Dave's meal was the cheese and garlic oil that covered his plate.

‘Are you sure you had enough cheese? Want mine too?’ Luca smirked.

They sat down at the table next to a window. It was a rush hour and all the students flooded from outside.

‘Dave, look at me.’

‘What? Why?’ he kept his sights set on the lunch.

‘Just do it.'

With that, Dave raised his head. Luca’s gaze pierced right through him as he had his fingers knitted together, holding them to his mouth.

‘Just as I thought. Dude, your eyes are all red. Did you have enough sleep?’

‘Uh… Enough for today.’

Luca cocked his head curiously. ‘You didn’t answer me how do you get along with your static.’

‘I guess fine.’

‘Hoho? The last time I spoke to Miira, she seemed thrilled having you around. Even thanked me for getting you in touch with them.’

Dave sighed and shot a glare. ‘Miira this, Miira that. She’s just like any other girl. What’s so special about her?’

Luca pulled back slightly. ‘Do I smell static drama? Had a feeling something was off. Spill the beans.’

‘There is no drama. Why do you care, anyway?’

‘Because you’ve been grouchy as hell since Yuneya. An annoying brat, if you ask me. And now finally, you started moving on. For once I could speak with you without depression lurking around the corner.’

‘Right.’  He exchanged a glance with him. Luca was a cheerful guy, mostly easy to talk to, but this time, he looked like someone completely different. Dave recognized his gaze. It was a sign of inescapability. ‘Well…’

‘Well?’

‘Did you know Miira lives in this city?’

‘Yeah. You met her?’

‘Not exactly. Sort of. I haven’t actually seen her. Ah, nevermind that, it’s complicated to explain.’

He took several mouthfuls’ worth of spaghetti and looked outside. ‘Look! Parks!’

‘Continue, Dave.’

‘How to explain this so it makes sense,’ he paused as he realized that meeting someone over the hedge was weird. First time, sure, everything was circumstantial. But second time? ‘At first, we met by accident in a park, separated by a hedge. I suppose we never made the effort of meeting face to face. Kind of became a thing.’

Luca stared at him, his mouth slightly open, then he narrowed his eyes, considering what to say next.

‘How does one… Okay, nevermind. So you met again and what happened?’

‘Well, yesterday we had a storm, right? Before it started, we were chatting and it was going great, I think. Then once it started raining, I wanted to go home but she… She wanted to come to my side of the hedge,’ he blushed.

Luca blinked rapidly in confusion.

‘She said she feared the storm, although I wasn’t sure it was true. Girls lie to get what they want. She’s been acting all clingy and needy lately.’

‘Dave, aren’t you jumping your gun a bit too soon? It sounds to me you’re projecting. You know, she has a boyfriend. Also, it’s Miira we’re talking about, not Yuneya.’

‘A boyfriend? She said she didn’t…’

‘So, what did you do then?’ Luca continued.

‘I panicked. I just ran home.’

A pained expression painted his friend's face. ‘Oh. I could lecture you about it, but I think you already seem to realize it wasn’t the best move. Better tell me, what makes you afraid of meeting her face to face? It’s not like you need to marry her or anything.’

He hesitated for a moment, unsure how to proceed. ‘I can’t say…’

‘Well, think about it. Also, apologize. Properly. If you want to continue running with them, sort it out. Miira is one of the nicest people I’ve met. So I’m sure you can talk it through. Anyway,’ he stuffed the rest of his spaghetti into the mouth. ‘I need to run for the next class. See you.’ He took his dishes and scurried away.

A plate of cold lunch and a massive 'apologize’ occupied his mind. Then his phone buzzed. It was their Discord server.

‘Static runs are canceled for today,’ Deilo wrote.