Heavy Breathing and Her Hand on My Mouth [REWRITE]

In the days following our clubroom excursion, Haruko stopped dragging me around at lunch or after school.

Instead, she would rush out of the classroom as if a family member had called to inform her they were dying. One time, before she ran out, I asked why she was hurrying but all I got in response was: "I don't use my godly powers to snoop on you, do I? It's a secret, so would you be a little patient?"

While it wasn't a wholly unwelcome change of pace, my lunchtime conversations with Takamoto were starting to raise concerns. Don't get me wrong, I liked the guy, but something felt off. Whenever I brought up video games, he'd appear to be excited but before I got the chance to start the conversation, either his phone or nature's call would interrupt.

Whenever he returned from his break, he would always veer away from games, towards some other media, this time it was movies.

"You ever seen 'Shin Hero of the North?' "

The question caught me off guard. "Why are you asking me that?"

He blinked twice and I noticed a smirk form at the edge of his lip, but it vanished as quickly as it had formed. "Well, I was watching it last night. I've been getting into mindless war movies. I like the history."

I'm sure he noticed my eyes bulge wide. I had to restrain myself from jumping off the deep end. "Well, I wouldn't really call Hero of the North mindless. Or a war movie."

"Oh yeah? It felt like one to me. All the guns and tanks."

I couldn't help it anymore and the words burst out of me like a pressure bomb. "Well, the original Hero of the North took place in the Edo period, they only updated it to a modern setting for the remake. And I mean, the entire mid-section of the movie is him trying to sleep in a tank. So calling it a mindless war movie is a bit unfair, especially when you consider the director of 'Shin' didn't stray as far from the original novel as the first adaptation did and—"

Takamoto had his hand covering his face, pinching his nose to keep from bursting out in a fit of laughter.

My rage calmed a couple degrees and I slumped against my desk. "I may have overshared."

"What? No, don't stop! I love stuff like this! I think it's cool you know so much about—"

"No." I cut his excited smile in half. "I'm sorry, I'd like to avoid talking about movies if we can."

"Oh, sure."

To clear the air, I'm not just some psychopath who would flip-flop on how much he likes movies. I had a predicament in junior high school that was brought on by an unhealthy obsession with them. I spent a few weeks suspended from school and swore off films for the foreseeable future. Nothing massively scandalous, but enough that I wasn't about to share it with Takamoto. Luckily, he was nice enough not to ask. Very nice.

Now that I thought of it, he was almost too nice.

As an example, remember how he promised to take care of cleanup duty for a kid he'd met less than a week ago? That wasn't a one-off. A couple days later, I invited him to an arcade called Retro Days, and he informed me he was covering for someone else. Somewhat suspicious, I asked if he would lend a hand next time my cleaning duty rolled around. Sure enough, he did. And he was already a pro at it.

Besides staying behind for cleanup duty, Takamoto would routinely give out photocopies of his math notes. He had offered to help the guy sitting next to him with a homework problem and had gone ahead and suggested the photocopy himself. Soon enough, everyone in the class was coming up to him at lunch to ask if they could get on his mailing list.

Despite the novelty of eating lunch with a celebrity, my curiosity regarding a certain someone's secret had started to grow. With each ring of the bell marking our freedom and each time Haruko dashed out of that classroom like it was about to explode, I got progressively more and more interested in the twice-daily mischief she must've been causing.

I mean, can you blame me? Knowing everything you do about this girl, what would you think she's up to? Personally, I had no idea, but that wasn't about to stop me from finding out. I hashed the entire plan over the weekend. It went a little something like this.

Monday would be preliminary recon. On Tuesday I would gather clues. Wednesday would be important, "accidentally" bumping into her while wandering the halls. My excuse: "Mr. Horiguchi asked me to get something from another classroom." Thursday was for information congregation. And on Friday I would take the culmination of my efforts, having perfectly deduced Haruko's motives, I would confront her and earn her all-seeing, godly affirmation. Or respect, or whatever.

I'd created the perfect plan. Except for, well, everything a plan is supposed to accomplish. The thing about plans is when they fail right from the get-go, they get a little useless.

Monday rolled around and much like the week prior, Haruko bolted the second the lunch bell rang. I had to run to keep up, but when I burst out through the door she was nowhere to be seen. God, she's quick. Annoyingly so.

That's when I realized I could just as easily start with my Wednesday idea and the plan went straight out the window. I wandered around the school for a good fifteen minutes until I spotted her coming out of the Staff Room. I wasn't originally planning to hide, but once I'd seen her, there was a sudden understanding that my pre-planned excuse would arouse suspicion. So instead, I tucked myself behind a corner and waited to see where she ran off to next.

There's one problem with spying on someone during lunch: the halls aren't exactly empty. While students weren't encouraged to wander around, no one would stop you from leaving class. Thus, a ton of people could clearly see me creeping on some girl. I should have done this after school instead. Luckily, I didn't have to creep too long, because Haruko made a mad dash in my direction, running right by me. She had the awareness of a mushroom.

Down the hall, she dipped into a classroom, and over the course of lunch, she worked her way through five or six of them. As successful as my reconnaissance mission had been, I wasn't satisfied in the slightest. What was she doing in the classrooms? I still had no idea but I wasn't about to back down before making a significant discovery. I forfeited my right to food and the first train home and followed her around the next day. I did it again the day after that. And again. And again once more.

After a full week of skipping lunches (actually, I ate during class), I was getting a little worried. Here's why. Every day for the past couple of weeks, Haruko would rush out and make her way to the Staff Room. There, she would stand by the same spot for about ten to fifteen minutes and chat up one particular teacher. After school, she would wander around until she found that teacher, in an empty classroom, in the cafeteria, in the library, and continue the same chat from earlier.

I wasn't able to figure out this guy's name, but one thing was painfully apparent: He was popular. Over that brief fifteen-minute period, about ten or twenty girls would come by to visit, sometimes students, sometimes staff. He must have been pretty funny too, because everyone left while laughing hysterically.

Not only was he a comic, but he was also the perfectly stereotypical kind of attractive. The type you would expect to see on billboards and subway ads. Given the suit he wore every day, you might think he teleported in straight from a photoshoot.

Most of the girls would crowd around for a few minutes and then slowly disperse. But one person stayed there much longer. Chatting away right by his side. I had never expected her to be capable of looking like a normal high school student. Laughing, speaking in words that didn't arouse suspicion of murder, and flirting with her teacher.

That last bit is what had me worried. Not the part about how flirting with a teacher is normal high school behaviour (though that is worrisome), the part where Haruko was the one doing it. I mean, I knew she was delusional, but this possibility, I had completely overlooked.

In hindsight, the wise idea would have been to connect with Sato. I didn't have her contact information at the time, so it never occurred to me, but organizing an intervention with one of Haruko's kindergarten friends would've had a higher chance of success than what I'd decided to do. It also would've also saved me a fair amount of embarrassment. And what had I decided to do, you ask?

"I know what you're doing with that teacher. All I can say is it's a terrible idea. That kind of relationship might be popular in TV shows but in reality, it'll never work out and if anything ever does happen: he's a creep who's manipulating you into—"

Haruko forced her hand overtop of my mouth, shutting me up before I made a righteous fool of myself. Once the adrenaline had worn down and my breathing slowed, the blur over my eyes faded. I could see Haruko on the brink of laughter, working overtime to restrain her devilish grin.