Ellie

“Let’s elope.”

“Wh-what?” I didn’t know how to react to that kind of declaration.

“I can’t… I can’t keep doing this.” She looked like she wanted to cry. “I hate having to sneak out just to see each other. There’s no future in that. We can’t keep this up forever.”

“I get that, but… do we really have to run away? I’m sure if we try, we can convince them.” It wasn’t really a genuine suggestion.

“You know that won’t work. Maybe after pushing hard enough, I could get my family’s blessing, but…”

“Yeah. My dad.” That jaded man would never budge, and I knew that. It wasn’t like I’d be able to confront him in the first place, either. I was terrified of that man.

Even if we went against his wishes and did something anyway, he’d actively go out of his way to make our lives a living hell, practically driving us away regardless. That was just the kind of spiteful monster he was. At that point, it would make more sense to run away now than be forced to do it later.

But still… eloping?

I couldn’t help but curse our fate. It wasn’t our fault that our families hated each other. Why the hell did the two of us have to suffer for their failures?

We’d fallen into silence for a spell, but she finally broke it with the question that, probably, mattered most. “Do you want to marry me, someday?”

Her short brown hair swayed in the cold winter breeze as she spoke. I loved her. I was certain of that much.

“Yeah, I do.” For once, I didn’t hesitate with my answer.

“Then we only have one choice.” Suddenly, she had a fire in her eyes. She wasn’t bringing this up on a whim; it was clear she’d thought about it. “In just over half a year, we’ll graduate, and you’ll turn 18 right after.”

I knew what she was going to say next, yet, somehow, it still felt unexpected.

“On that day, marry me. And then, together, we’ll leave this all behind. It’ll be hard, but we can manage. If we want to have a future together, that’s our only choice.”

Her suggestion was insane. It was completely irresponsible. At the same time, though, she wasn’t wrong. As it was now, our relationship had no real future. It was doomed to fail if we stayed dependent on our families.

But what scared me wasn’t how irresponsible it might be or the logistics of how we’d manage to get by on our own.

I was just scared of inviting such a drastic change into my life. The uncertainty and unpredictability something like that would bring… it terrified me.

The way things were now was awful; I wouldn’t deny that fact. But I’d gotten used to it. Acclimated to it. In a way, it felt safe and familiar.

I didn’t have the courage to face an uncertain future, even if the pursuit of it would be better than how things were now.

But I also knew she was serious about this. She couldn’t stand things staying like this forever. If I turned down her request now, it might be over for us.

She was strong. If it was clear things would never change or improve, she’d rather face the pain and end things now than walk towards a future that went nowhere. In that regard, we were very different.

“So,” she murmured, “what do you want to do?”

If I really thought about it, there were probably alternative, more reasonable options I could come up with. She wasn’t so hard-headed that she’d ignore other paths. She just wanted to have a path in the first place.

But, in the end, I just wanted things to stay the same. I didn’t want anything to change suddenly; I didn’t want to invite that unpredictability into my life. I wasn’t brave enough to face the unknown. I could only handle living in a present safely grounded in the past.

I couldn’t actually say that to her, though. In this case, expressing the desire to not change would simply end up inviting it. There was only one answer that could extend the status quo. When that extension came to an end, I’d find a way to deal with it then.

It would work out fine. I kept telling myself it would.

“Okay, Ellie. Let’s do it.”

And so, I lied.

* * *

I sighed hard as my eyes opened. That was the first time I’d recalled an entire, clear memory like that while conscious. It didn’t seem like much time had passed, so although it had felt like the scene played in my head in real time, it had probably resolved itself in a near instant.

I bit down on my lip. In the beginning, I was curious about my past, but at this point, I desperately hoped I never learned more. I didn’t want to understand the kind of person I was if it turned out I was an awful one.

I never wanted to learn that I was the kind of person to lie to and hurt the person I loved. Now, however, I couldn’t take back that knowledge.

“‘ey, boy, y’alright there?”

“Oh, ah, yeah. Sorry, I just got distracted for a second.” I feigned a laugh to make it seem like I’d been thinking of something frivolous, and, probably because we’d only recently met, he seemed to accept that.

Of course, the other man in attendance still looked suspicious, but shrugged it off soon after.

In a somewhat peculiar turn of events, I found myself sitting in the inn’s bottom floor restaurant back in Nerush—with Cliffe and Mason, of all people. They’d been headed to this town in the first place, so they accompanied us on our return trip following our mission. That’d been a couple of days ago, at this point.

Lucia still wasn’t feeling great. She’d had a couple of ribs broken during the excursion, and I was pretty sure the trip back to Nerush had been more painful and taxing on her injured body than she’d expected. Even with magical assistance, it would take a few days for her to fully recover, apparently.

We had just gotten back to town an hour or so ago, and she decided she would go up to our room and rest. Since our range limitation was spherical and had grown to a decent length, it was feasible for us to split up on different floors like this, as long as we kept within the same building.

Still, I had wanted to stick with her and do what I could to help. For some reason, though, she was very adamant I stayed down here for a while and hung out with our traveling companions. I think she wanted me to make some friends or something, but given the company, that was unlikely.

Maybe I could get along with Cliffe, but that bespectacled bastard? Please. I mean, sure, he hasn’t really done anything to wrong me, but still! He’s just me but better! I hate it.

Cliffe raised his hand to hail a waiter. “I’d like a mug o’ sireif, please. And ya two?”

“Water, please.”

“Uh, just water.”

The waiter nodded and sped off to get our drinks. Cliffe chuckled to himself. “Do ya not like sireif either, Layn? I’ll never understand that…”

Either?

Mason smirked. “That drink is abysmal. How you haven’t figured that out yet is beyond me.”

No way. No goddamn way. “Wait, you hate sireif?”

Mason shot me a glance and sighed for some reason. “Indeed. It’s repulsive to even think about, yet everyone seems to act like it’s a delicacy. It’s poisoned their minds, I swear.”

“Finally…” I muttered, quivering lightly. “Finally, someone understands! That stuff tastes like shit!” I whacked the table with my hands, a little overexcited.

His eyes widened a little. I thought he was about to tell me off for my reaction, but…

“It does! It really does! I never thought I’d live to see the day I’d meet another who actually understands!”

“I know, right! I thought I must’ve been the insane one or something.”

Phew. It’s good to know that—wait, no! I don’t want to bond with this guy!

I averted my gaze awkwardly, but as I did so, I caught him doing the same, almost as if he had the exact same thought I did.

You have no reason to hate me, though! I thought that, despite knowing my reason for disliking him was extremely stupid.

Cliffe detected the odd air between us and interjected. “No need to take this boy too seriously, Layn. ‘e doesn’t ‘ate ya, ‘e’s just a li’l envious of ya, is all.”

Huh? “Wh-why the hell would he be envious of me. He’s like… better than me in every conceivable way.” Shit. I didn’t want to admit that out loud, especially not right next to him!

Mason frantically turned to Cliffe and, for the first time, looked embarrassed. “D-don’t—”

He was cut off. “Ya see, about two years ago, Mason ‘ere took a likin’ to ‘er ‘ighness, but she turned the poor man down. ‘e thinks you’re lucky for gettin’ t’ be ‘er Chain. ‘e wishes it was ‘im instead.” Cliffe let out a hearty laugh.

“H-huh!? You… and Lucia…?” I couldn’t believe it.

“L-listen!” He pointed an accusatory, yet nervously shaking, finger at me. “That was two years ago, okay! I didn’t even know her true identity at the time!”

This is my chance to go on the offensive and mess with him! Strike, and break his composure!

“Heh, so what drew you to her, huh?” I hoped he’d just get more embarrassed and irritated, but, to my shock, he actually answered.

“I-it was her confidence and drive, mostly.”

Even more shockingly, I found myself adding, “Oh… yeah, I get that. I really like how stubborn she can be at times, too.”

Mason nodded. “Yes, and… and her smile. It’s truly awe inspiring…”

I balled my hands into fists, struggling to contain my enthusiasm. “Y-yeah! That’s right! It’s amazing!”

Uh, wait. C-crap! I REALLY don’t want to bond with this guy over THIS of all things!

Annoyingly, it looked like he probably had the same thought at the same time once again, given the way his expression clouded over. All the while, Cliffe continued his jovial laughter at our exchange.

It turned out we had a lot in common, and we both had a bad habit of incidentally egging the other on. And so, that evening, I accidentally made friends with the last person I ever wanted to talk to.

Dammit, Lucia! You should’ve just let me go up to the room with you! This never should’ve happened!