That Distant Day

“What… are you doing?”

Selina was lying on the grass right outside the inn. “Moonbathing,” she said, eyes shut as she soaked in the lunar rays descending gently from the night sky.

“That’s not…” I swallowed my words. Trying to discern the logic of her actions was, in most cases, a futile effort.

There was something I wanted to ask her, which was why I wandered outside after dinner in the first place. She and Alwey were staying at the same inn as Lucia and me, and since it was getting dark, my plan was just to wait at the entrance for her to show up. Apparently, though, she’d been right outside all along.

“There are streetlamps nearby. You realize people can see you, right?”

“Hmm… I don’t really see the problem.”

It’s weird. It’s super weird. Shame and embarrassment weren’t really part of Selina’s emotional repertoire, so her answer was exactly what I had expected. It wasn’t like there was anything inherently wrong with that, though.

“So, um,” I spoke, lowering my voice slightly as I changed subjects. “Can I ask you something?”

“I’m sorry, Laynie, but I don’t feel the same way about you. It’ll never work out between us.”

“…” I silently glared at her, and although she still had her eyes closed, she seemed to have somehow felt it.

“You’re no fun, sometimes.” She puffed out her lips in a pout. “So, what did you want to ask?”

When we’d first met, I honestly thought she seemed fairly unreliable. As I got to know her better, though, I realized that wasn’t exactly right; she was odd, to be sure, but not untrustworthy. I couldn’t think of anyone but her to ask this to.

“Wh-what sorts of relationships are normal for Chains to have with their masters?” I had no idea how to segue naturally into it, so I went right out and asked what was on my mind.

“Ooooh?” She finally opened her eyes and got a mischievous smirk on her face.

“T-to be clear, I’m asking this because I just spent some time with Mason and Cliffe, and they almost struck me as like… siblings, I guess. Like, they’re really different, but they somehow still manage to get along well without much conflict.” That definitely was not why I was asking, but the observation I shared was at least true.

“Your suspicious excuse aside,” she began, “that guess is pretty accurate. Especially in the beginning, a Chain and their Chainbearer spend a lot of time together by necessity. No matter how different they might be, they’ll usually grow a lot closer because of that. In almost all cases, they end up forming some kind of familial bond. For many, probably most, they become like siblings. In rarer cases, it might even be closer to a parent and child relationship. And, if the conditions are right, it's not too uncommon for them to fall in love romantically.”

“I-is that so?” I mumbled, a bit too awkwardly. In an attempt to recover, I tried to, as naturally as possible, divert to another question. “So then, wh-what kind of relationship would you say you and Alwey have?”

“Huh? Was that a joke?” She seemed confused.

“H-huh?” I echoed back.

“Don’t tell me… Luci never told you?” She suddenly sat up, and it completely threw me off.

“Told me what, exactly?”

“Um, Layn… Alwey and I are married.”

Huh? Huhhhhhhh? It took me a few seconds to catch up mentally.

“B-b-b-b-but… what!?” She had to be joking… right?

She looked a little apologetic as she spoke. “Our fifteen-year anniversary is coming up next month, actually… I really thought Luci would’ve mentioned something to you at some point…” She awkwardly laughed towards the end.

Suddenly, I was reminded of a perplexing interaction I’d seen between the two of them a few days ago, and things started to click.

“B-b-b-but… he’s, like, old!” He wasn’t that old, but compared to her…

“I’m technically older than him. We’ve been over this. Plus, we looked the same age at the time, anyway.”

“B-b-but… you’re so… different! He’s always scowling at you and stuff!”

“Hmm… he’s always scowling at everything, though. That’s just his face.”

“It always seems like he’s annoyed by you, though…”

“Eh? Does it really seem that way? I guess I’ve had twenty years of experience with reading his expressions, but that look is more like him being embarrassed than annoyed.” She cupped one hand over her mouth and, as she often did, fake whispered, “Actually, I’m pretty sure he likes it when I tease him. He might be some kind of masochist.”

“D-don’t spread weird rumors about your husband!” A stoic type like him, though? I can see it. Wait, no, I don’t want to think about that!

I was overwhelmed at first by the sudden news, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. It felt absurd, and yet, at the same time, obvious.

Several seconds passed before she started to speak again. In that time, her tone had changed completely. “You know, you’ve really only ever gotten to see one side of him.” She sounded the tiniest bit sad as she spoke. It was so slight that, if it were anyone else speaking, it’d be unnoticeable, but it was so uncharacteristic for her that it stood out. “He’s always been stoic and aloof, but he used to be more… open, I guess. He used to smile, and even laugh, from time to time. He was gentler, and more kind. Nowadays, he only shows that part of himself to me.”

The air felt thicker than it had before, and I suddenly felt uneasy. Still, I wanted to know. “Did… something happen?”

Selina let out a shockingly ordinary, untheatrical sigh. “Luci really hasn’t told you very much about the past, has she?” As I shook my head, she slowly continued. “Maybe it’s not my place to tell you, but you should probably know. About that day, ten years ago.”

I gulped, trying to wet my growingly dry throat. She hadn’t specified, but I knew exactly what she was referring to. The reason Lucia had summoned me—the day her kingdom collapsed. “Please, tell me. I want to know what happened.”

Selina had a distant look in her eyes. It felt as if an eternity passed before she finally spoke.

“We didn’t know how bad things were until it was way too late. At first, the crown prince, Luci’s older brother, was sent off with a military battalion to fend off the reported threat of Lishkarn gathering. We treated it as routine, more than anything else. By the time we learned that he and his entire force had been eradicated, tens of thousands of them approached the capital.”

I hadn’t even known Lucia had a brother. She’d never mentioned him, though I couldn’t blame her for that. And I didn’t even want to imagine what tens of thousands of Lishkarn would look like.

“When we first met you, Alwey told you he was the last of the Allion Royal Guard. You know what that means, right?” Rather than becoming emotional, her voice grew more mechanical with every word she said. It was probably easier for her that way. “The guard split in half to evacuate the royal family. We wanted to maximize the chances that at least one of the two—Luci or her father—survived, so we split them into two parties. That turned out for the best, in the end; the king’s group didn’t make it out at all. Even in our group… everyone else had to sacrifice themselves so we could make it out. Alwey was King Orliff’s best friend, so they thought it was best to leave his daughter in our hands. They all died… so that the three of us could survive.”

Silence fell between us, and I felt like I needed to say something. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know.”

“That’s not your fault. No one told you.” She took a deep breath and recollected her thoughts for a moment. “Anyway, both Alwey and Luci changed after that day. I was affected too, of course, but I’m just not the kind of person to be consumed by pain and negativity forever. It still makes me sad to remember everyone, but, after enough time, I was able to move on. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but it’s who I am. Those two never could, though. Alwey lives his life with unwavering caution, terrified that if he lowers his guard at any point, he’ll lose what little he has left. And Luci… she used to be an ordinary, happy little girl. But after that day, she stopped living. She swore to devote her entire existence to avenging her kingdom, and she disregarded everything else she could.”

On the day I’d been summoned, Lucia had spoken with despair in a way that alluded to her trauma, but in the time since, I’d mostly forgotten. I only understood her goal in abstract, and I never paid attention to the scars she carried. I suddenly felt awful, like I’d neglected her. Like I never truly cared about her at all.

“That’s why I was so happy when I first met you.” Selina continued, inexplicably smiling for the first time in a little while. “The way you two spoke to each other, the way Luci was casually having fun talking with you, it shocked me. I hadn’t seen her like that in such a long, long time. You didn’t know her before, so you probably never realized, but she really changed after she met you. I think you helped her shift her gaze away from the future, just a little bit.”

“Did I… really do that? Are you sure it wasn’t a coincidence?”

Selina giggled. Even though she’d been so serious just a moment ago, ‘cheerful’ really was her default state. “The Lucia I knew never would’ve wasted a day going on a hiking date with a boy. I was stunned when she asked me for advice.”

D-date!? It did qualify as a date after all!?

“Wait, advice? Oh, you mean when she invited you two to come with us?” That was what Lucia had told me, but…

“Huh? She never invited us. She just asked for adv—oh! Did she lie to you and say that? Hehehe. Sly girl.”

S-seriously!? I didn’t know what to make of this revelation, but before I could even think about it, Selina asked me one final question—one I hadn’t expected in the slightest.

“Layn, are you in love with Luci?”

“Wh-what?”

“Are you?” She sounded serious again. She could flip moods insanely fast.

At first, I was hesitant to answer, but, in the end, I didn’t think it was wrong to tell Selina.

“Probably,” I muttered, before quickly shaking my head. “No, that’s not right. I am.” I wasn’t uncertain about it anymore. After everything that had happened during our mission, I was sure.

Selina finally took the initiative to stand all the way up. Her response to my admission was simple: “Don’t hurt her, alright? Other than that, you have my approval.” She gave me a beaming smile and a thumbs-up. “Anyway, it’s really draining to be this serious, so it’ll take… I don’t know, a week to recharge? Only super energetic Selina for you until then!”

I found myself smiling in response. “Good. It makes me feel weird when you get all serious, too.”

There was a lie planted in that smile.

“Don’t hurt her, alright?”

Those innocent words brought another girl to mind. One I was sure I had hurt in the end, despite my love for her—or, maybe, because of it.

Are my feelings for Lucia… really a good thing?