Chapter 1:

I'm alone. [Do-Over]

Light of my darkest eve

“The next stop is Yamaimura. The next stop is Yamaimura.”

Should have jumped in front of the train when it was pulling up.
Hopefully it derails
Don’t think moving will undo what you’ve done.
You’ll never be forgiven for your past.

They’ve been particularly loud today. Maybe it’s because I’m moving away, or maybe it’s just because I haven’t been taking my medication consistently enough, but for some reason they’re even more obnoxious than normal.

While the other three remain behind me and whisper in my ear, the fourth drifts in front of my face to goad me directly. I manage to somewhat tune out their voices by muttering to myself, but nothing short of closing my eyes completely would get rid of the grotesque and bloodied form in front of my eyes, so I do my best to pretend I don’t see it.

Thankfully, it seems I’m still the only one who can see or hear them. While I’m now the only person in this entire train cart, I was previously surrounded by people, and I could hardly contain my fear that the four spectres that haunt me would materialise in front of them. Thankfully, no such event happened, and they simply continued to bother me instead.

“This stop is Yamaimura. This stop is Yamaimura.”
Guess I’m finally here. My new home.

Oh look. No one’s here to meet you.
As if anyone would volunteer for that.
You’ve not even properly arrived and they’ve already abandoned you.
You’re an invader. They don’t want invaders.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to meet me here, but the dickhead quarter raise a good point. Considering the sort of place I’m going, the people here likely already know my condition. And my past. It wouldn’t be a surprise if they’re already scared of me. My new classmates have probably already decided to avoid the ‘volatile new guy,’ and the staff are likely fearful of their safety, having to watch over someone like me.

The platform is almost completely empty, save for a few staff members at the turnstiles and the like. I suppose I am showing up in the dead of night, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But the total quiet and calm soothes my nerves a tad.

Most would likely found the atmosphere eerie. The barren platform with no human activity, the near total silence that envelops everything after the train is out of earshot, the cloudy night sky that provides almost no natural light. But to me… this is perfect.

No overstimulating light. No awkward interactions with strangers. No constant noise. Just myself and an empty world, with no distractions between me and my destination.

As I leave the train station and wander out into the small countryside town of Yamaimura, I take in what little of my surroundings I can actually see. There are few street lights, and many of those that are here are dim and old, so the steets are bathed in a dull orange glow.

It’s just about light enough to make my way through the streets, and to see the fronts of some of the buildings I pass on the way. A few residential streets, a high street filled with small local businesses, an occasional few big chain shops breaking up the comparatively quaint locals… exactly what I’d expected when I was told I was being shipped to the boonies.

Of course, there’s no GPS out here, and they didn’t think to give me a damn map or anything, so my slow trundle through the desolate streets is guided by naught but the explanation that “it’s the large building on the far east edge of town.”

Utterly useless. But considering what I am, they probably gave me vague directions in the hope that I never find it, and just give up and go home. Were it an option, I likely would have.

See? You’re not wanted.
You’re not needed.
Your presence is a plague
No one wants to catch a plague

You four can settle down. I can’t go back now, so goading me about it won’t achieve a thing.

Bored of walking aimlessly and making no noticeable progress, I pull up the compass app on my phone and follow it east. I should curse my late arrival for leaving me no one to ask for directions, but I’m more thankful that I don’t have to deal with awkward conversations right out of the gate.

After another fifteen-or-so minutes of trudging through the dimly lit streets of the backwater town, I see a large building that was previously hidden behind a tower block, dozens of its windows illuminated. That’s likely what I’m looking for.

Passing by a few more flats, small shops and cafes, I find myself at the base of the hill leading up to the building in front of me. On the enormous metal gate sits a sign, the paint partially worn away by time.


Guess this is home now.

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