Lonely Rooftop

The school rooftop.

To me, this was the best place to be in.

I laid down on the floor in silence. The fresh breeze blew through the strands of my hair and the cloth of my uniform.

I’m all alone here, with nothing but peace and quiet in all directions. It was an escape from all the noise of the world, where I felt untouchable. No problems, no people, no disturbances, just my inner thoughts. In this place, I could easily fall into a quiet slumber without any care in the world.

Or so I thought.

“Hey. You awake?”

I opened my eyes to Suvi standing over my head. Her smile radiated alongside the shining sun in the sky.

“What are you doing here?” I glared at her.

“Nothing much.” She looked away.

“So there’s no reason for you to be on the rooftop.”

“I don’t need a reason to be on the rooftop. It’s quite peaceful here, don’t you think?”

I’m sick and tired of these games. People don’t do things for no reason. She doesn’t even come up here by herself.

“Tell me why you’re really here.”

Suvi sighed and sat on the floor next to me. She then turned her face towards me, twirling her finger on her hair.

“You’re lonely,” she muttered.

“I’m always lonely. And you’re always teasing me that I’m lonely.”

“I’m not teasing you this time.”

I looked into her eyes, and noticed that they appeared to be full of sorrow.

“What do you mean?” I pulled myself up to sit. “You look like you’re pitying me. Cut it out.”

“You don’t want to be lonely.”

My eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

“Your eyes. They feel empty. As if something had been taken away from your heart.” Suvi placed her hand over to her chest. “Or someone.”

The fact that she was trying to probe into my brain caused a vein to pop out from my forehead, so I grabbed her shirt with both hands and pulled her close to me.

“Stop messing with me! How could you possibly understand how I feel? You…You don’t know anything!”

Suvi fell silent. She didn’t say a single word after that. Instead, I was shocked to see the look on her face. Tears ran down from her sunset eyes, with her nose struggling to breathe as she tried to sniff. Her hands moved over to hold my hands, softening my grip on her shirt.

“W-What? Now you’re crying just because you thought I was going to get violent with you?”

“N-No….” She shook her head. “It’s just that…I don’t like it when I can sense another person’s pain. It hurts.”

“You….”

I let go of her shirt and sighed. I picked up a handkerchief from my pocket and handed it over to her.

“T-Thanks.”

She blew her nose on the handkerchief, then everything fell off to an awkward silence.

“Annika.”

“Hmm?” Suvi tilted her head.

“That was the name of my former lover. It was our parents that made us separate.”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I got up from my bed. Again. Alone. In my room. I had another dream again. And it’s about Suvi again. Why?! Why can’t I get her off my mind?! Why am I always dreaming about her every damn night?!

I slammed my fist against the bed.

For some reason, I felt as though I couldn’t stay still on the bed. I stood up on the bed with an explosive amount of energy and started jumping up and down for some reason. It’s like my body was full of energy, too much of it. It’s as if I have all the power in the world.

I performed a few jabs and kicks, and started weaving and side-stepping around the room. All the moves I could muster, I performed in such a small space, somehow not hitting anything. Everything I had learned from all the martial arts lessons I took seemed to flow through my movements, my body simply moved as much as it wanted to move.

After a while, I realized that this sudden boost in energy came from the tension underneath my pants. My sexual frustration has reached its absolute peak! The voices in my head screamed at me to explode into a rain of white, I felt like I could fill up a whole gallon with the amount I stored up in my balls!

Screw it! This is way too much for me! There’s no way a man can contain such energy!

I dashed towards my seat in a flash, and immediately started typing the words.

P.

O.

R.

N.

Don’t press the enter button, you idiot! No! Press it! It’s too much to handle! It’s just one time anyway! Shut up, me! Wait? Why am I talking to myself?! There’s demons! Demons inside of me! I’m completely torn on the inside and outside! I am about to descend into madness and I am about to ascend into a higher plane of being! I am not of this universe any longer! I am ready to make a Big Bang!

Enter! Enter! Enter! Ka-boom!

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. To me, it was like a drop of water that fell into a pond, creating a ripple effect throughout my mind. I had suddenly calmed down from all the chaos going on through my head.

“Kwan? Are you awake?” Annika’s voice could be heard from outside.

I immediately turned off the computer and walked over to the door. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to see her with a face mask on.

“What’s with the noises in your room? Were you running around?”

“Um….”

“Nevermind.” Annika facepalmed. “You’re literally sweating. Please go back to your bed, you’re supposed to be resting!”

All the energy that was in me seemed to dissipate into thin air, and I sluggishly fell back into the bed. Annika accompanied me and heated up some water, then she placed a hot towel on my head and sunk a thermometer down my armpit. She carried a seat close to my bed, and began caressing my hair.

I smiled weakly as I looked into her deep blue eyes.

“Annika.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem!” Annika smiled. “I’m always happy to take care of others whenever they need help.”

“I meant to say thank you. For not giving up on me. Even when I let you down.”

I didn’t deserve any of her kindness. I was only seconds away from losing myself into the pleasures of lust, which meant that my will to be with her was still far too lukewarm. Even now, Suvi’s presence was stronger in my own head. She wasn’t the person on my mind.

“It’s times like these where you truly remind me of the old Kwan.” Annika giggled.

“H-Huh…..?”

“I was always the one looking after you whenever you got hurt or felt sick. You were always such a reckless boy back then.”

“Heh….I guess so……..”

Annika continued to brush her fingers against my hair in silence. I kept my eyes closed, and allowed the sensation to run through my head. Compared to earlier, I was now in a state of tranquility. Her company was enough to calm every nerve in my body down, so I could feel myself dozing off into the night.

Strangely enough, she reminded me of ‘The Girl in the ASMR’. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was her all this time, given how secretive she is with her own room and how strong her voice reminded me of her. However, I won’t pry on the matter. I’d rather prove myself as trustworthy enough for her to open up to me with her secrets. There’s no point in forcing it.

“If only our parents weren’t enemies.”

“What did you say, Annika?”

“Nothing, nevermind.”