Bandages

I dropped Juno at his apartment and went straight home. I told Sakura-san that I'd be back in the morning so it seemed she had already fallen asleep.

I made sure to be as quiet as possible.

She was sleeping in her bedroom. It has been like this for quite some time. We just started sleeping separately. I was sleeping in my study room. I went near her bed. Even her sleeping face was so pretty!

In fact, I wanted to hold her in my arms. But I knew how long it took her to get out of that state. Without my realizing tears started running down my face, as I kept looking at her. I have so much to make up for I mumbled.

I sat down near her bed, thinking about what happened. I certainly did something reckless again. I wasn't even thinking straight, if something were to happen to me Sakura would be all alone. Just like before.

Maybe from exhaustion or maybe because I cried after a long time, I instantly fell asleep.

When I woke up I was on the bed. Her bed. Covered in a blanket. I looked around but she wasn't there. I got up and noticed some bandages on my knuckles. They all had various cutesy designs like strawberries and cats. Sakura-san was a kindergarten teacher, so she always carried these cute bandages.

Did she put this on while I was asleep? I touched one with the cute cat. Ouch! It seems I have broken my knuckles. weirdly at night, I didn't feel any pain, but after her applying the bandages I just became much more conscious of my injury.

It was just like when a kid trips and falls but doesn't cry however, the moment someone asks are you all right? the tears start running down.

I was just speechless. I was happy but also charmed by my wife. I hid my face in the blanket. God, undoubtedly I have the best wife!

"You are getting out or not?" She was standing right there at the doorstep. I jumped out of bed before she saw me any more embarrassed.

"Did...did you carry me to the bed?" I asked her while leaning on the wall trying to corner her. I need to charm her not get captivated by her!

“I did and I can do it again if you don't behave." She pushed me on the wall instead. I covered my face with my hands. My wife is too cool.

She laughed. Again. 

I felt happy. Seeing her smile this much was something new to me. Before everything became so unbearable, we once were deeply in love. We had our fair share of troubles, but our feelings for each other never wavered.

"How come you are cooler than me." I hugged her. I was so happy that I could die.

I kept hugging her and was expecting her to say something. But she just stayed silent and held me tight.

"What happened?" I patted her head. She was always quick-witted with her responses in the past. 

"Hey..." I was still hugging her but she wasn't letting go of me.

"Stay like this for a while." Her voice seemed stuffy.

"Are you crying?" I wanted to look at her face so I let go of her but she pulled me close again.

"Just, can we stay like this? I'm not looking pretty right now." She was sobbing, but very quietly.

"Okay, we can stay like this." I started rubbing her back.

"When I woke up and saw you sleeping at the edge of my bed. I was so scared, your hands covered in bruises." She started shaking a bit.

I can't let her worry about my work. She needs to know I'm safe and I don't do reckless stuff. I wanted to promise her that it would never happen again. But that wasn't a sincere promise. I knew that and she knew it too.

I'll ask the Chief to assign me to fine tickets wrongly parked vehicles. It's safer and she won't have to worry about me. I decided to tell her this once I talked with the Chief.

"You honestly think I'm scared of anyone? Those thugs should see my wife. How scary this crybaby can get." I tightened my hug.

She chuckled a bit.

"I wasn't crying, I was just trying to wipe my snot on your shirt." She finally let go, her eyes turned red. She sniffed and wiped her face. She was looking down. Barely holding in the tears.

She bit her lips to keep herself from crying again while holding my shirt. I knew what she wanted to say. Don't do reckless stuff. Don't put yourself in danger. I love you, and I absolutely need you. She was conveying all this without uttering a single word.

I wiped her messy but pretty face with the edge of my shirt's sleeve.

"You know I might have wiped some drool on your dress too." She pushed me away while turning around checking if I was saying the truth or not.

She grabbed my face and squeezed it, "You are lucky I like you."

We both smiled at each other.

It took a while for us to calm down. What a crybaby couple we are I wanted to say.

She seemed more cheerful after crying that much. It seemed she had already prepared and packed most of the food while I was asleep. She told me I was reeking of cigarettes but it seemed she just let it slide this once. Though I had to shower thoroughly!

Imagine missing on nagging, bickering, and just about everything else. My resolve to retire from field duty got more strong. I'll focus on only you now!

I felt strange. Maybe I'm worried that all of this is just a dream. I don't want to wake up if it is.

"Let's go?" She took me out of my thoughts.

“What happened?” She looked at my face and put her hands on my face.

“Are you all right? You don't have fever it seems. We can stay at home if you are tired from working the whole night.” She hugged me again.

Such a small petite body I thought. I wrapped my hands around her.

“No, I just need to charge myself a bit.” I kissed her forehead.

We put everything in the back. We haven’t used the car in a long time I wondered. I had already made a foolproof plan.

First, we will have breakfast on the way. Around the afternoon we will reach the sea. We can spend as much time as we want there. In the evening come back here and get changed to have a luxurious dinner at "EL’ Amor", thanks to the Chief.

I knew she always wanted to go there. I was looking forward to seeing her reaction the whole day.

We started driving towards the highway. She already opened the sandwiches she had packed. Sakura loves eating and I loved watching her eat.

Why I’m having this eerie feeling? I tried distracting my mind.

I looked at her sitting beside me eating a sandwich as if she were a rabbit. She took a small piece from it and stretched it to my mouth. I took a bite while looking at her. I bit her fingertips intentionally.

“Eyes on the road mister.” She giggled. I just want to protect this smile.

I stopped at the crossroads. I saw my phone lighting up with the Chief’s name. I looked at Sakura-san in fear.

"You can pick it up, I won't nag." She looked upset, "But in return, you have to focus on me the whole day today." She winked while pointing at herself.

Before I could grab the phone something hit us from her side and everything started spinning. It all happened too fast for me to even react.

When I regained my consciousness I was upside down. I looked around to find Sakura-san. She was hanging upside down from her seat too. She had blood dripping all over her neck. She twitched a bit before being motionless. The car was hit from her side. It was crushed completely.

When the tears started running down my face only then I realized that my face was covered in bruises too. Everything was stinging. I was stuck.

I wanted to ask if she was okay but my chest was feeling heavy. As if it was caved in.

I couldn’t even move my hands. I kept groaning while trying to think what I could do. I let out a painful cry but I couldn’t form a word.

Why did this happen? Was it because I messed with those goons? Or was it just an accident? If I hadn’t asked her today would she be at home? Alive? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. We haven’t gone out in years. Why I wanted to go out today? Why is she in this situation while I’m still alive?

I closed my eyes. I don’t want to cling to life anymore.

Everything went dark.