Chapter 27:

Insanity's Ballad

Life Stream: Helping a cute girl gain views and followers

It was time for the stream to begin.

“HEJ! Astrid here!”

“YO! It’s your girl Leona!”

“It’s time. Fair warning, this stream will get VERY crazy. You have no idea what insanity will happen.”

“It all begins once we choose the route, so let’s go!”

I had changed into my costume and was on standby. It still impressed me how high tech and professional Astrid wanted to make this. I imagine this was only possible due to all the sponsorships.


“We’ve chosen the route, let the insanity begin!”

“Wah! Anna just turned purple!”

Immediately, a crew of makeup artists began painting Leona’s skin and hair purple.

“PILUP PILUP!” Leona said once she was done.

“Great, the game turned her into a purple pilemen,” Astrid laughed.

Suddenly Jaime appeared dressed as Julius.

“[Yes, it seems you can’t progress. My minions driving you insane?]”

“[No Julius! You’re not really here,]" Astrid retorted.

The lights flashed as a team of makeup artists began painting Astrid’s face to look like a skeleton.

Astrid then began acting like she was possessed by Julius as Leona screamed and played along.

The two then reached one of the first key points in the route.

“[Yes! The rats will eat you!]” Jaime stated as he reappeared as Julius surrounded by stylists wearing rat masks.

Leona struggled to stop herself from giggling as she tried to remain in character. This was going to be the moment where she’d lose all her hair. Since Leona was going to go bald as part of her bet, Astrid asked her to do it during the event for greater effect. They decided it would be during an infamous scene in the game where one of the protagonists is thrown in jail, and curses everyone for not believing him, wishing for them to be eaten by rats.

The stylists then began shaving off all of Leona’s hair as she playfully screamed, “NO! Damn you rats! Stop eating my hair!”

In no time flat, Leona was bald.

“Wow, it really does feel weird,” Leona said as she rubbed her head.

The stylists then began smacking washable tattoos all over Leona and Astrid's heads and faces.

“If you encounter another head related crazy effect, we wax your head and eyebrows,” Astrid teased.

“Nah, I think we’re past the- OH COME ON! Why is his head just rolling around like a bowling ball? My character’s is still attached dammit!”

Much to Leona’s dismay, her entire head and face were waxed in one go.

“GYAAA! What possessed you to come up with the Wyvern rainforest challenge!? That was more painful than eating the ghost pepper spice!” Leona yelled at Astrid.

“Hey, you’ll get used to it.” Astrid giggled.

“NO WAY! I’m growing my hair out dammit! No more hot wax!”

“Candle wax is fine then?”

The girls then had their heads turned into candles complete with lit flames. It was now my cue.

I walked up to them and poured some ghost pepper spice in a frying pan.

“Alright! Time to execute some ghost peppers,” I laughed maliciously.

I then carefully held the frying pan over Leona’s flame. An SFX team member then carefully lit up the spice inside. This part was actually Leona’s idea. While Astrid wanted me to dress as the reaper and burn some ghost peppers in the background, Leona was the one who thought it’d be crazier for me to roast the peppers while using her flame as a heat source. Luckily, everything went great, and no one was hurt.

It was then time for a BRB. The makeup team removed the candle wax from the girls’ heads and began applying SFX makeup on them.

“So what look are you going for?” I asked.

“We’re gonna be Zombie Goblins for the second half,” Astrid stated.

“We’re also gonna smash the dummies they made of us,” Leona giggled.

“Sven's also gonna drop a cake that looks like an anvil on Valentino’s face.”

“Yeah, it's payback for glitching me out of a victory.”

As the stream resumed, Valentino laid on the ground as Sven appeared dressed like Robertson the purple monkey. He then grabbed the anvil cake and smashed it on Valentino’s face as he made monkey noises. Valentino groaned as he sat up and began wiping the cake off his face.

Leona and Astrid reemerged looking frighting with all their makeup on. They then smashed the heads of their dummies sitting in the chairs and began eating the jam that oozed out of them.

“Damn, my brain tastes good,” Leona giggled.

“Well, it is made from prickly pear jam that you can get right now at Kagemart. Yes, you too can sweeten up your meals and your brain with various prickly pear products from Kagemart. If you wish to order some, go on Kagemart’s website or mobile app,” Astrid stated.

“Not a bad way to promote your products,” I whispered to Kageyama.

“When I heard Astrid wanted a replica of her head made, I figured she planned to smash it to bits. So, I figured why not use prickly pear jam for the brain guts,” he whispered back.

The stream only got crazier from here on out. Leona and Astrid would frequently eat ghost pepper laced foods all while snacking on wasabi salmiak. They were even gunged with cold slime ramen before fighting Julius and beating the game.

“[NO! You haven’t beaten me! I exist here now so you can’t-]”

Before Jaime could finish his spiel, my father ran in, dressed in his wrestling mask and cowboy hat, and clotheslined Jaime.

“Always stealing the glory,” I happily mumbled to myself.


After viewing the true ending of the game, the girls ripped off their makeup before saying their closing thoughts.

“Whew. Well, that was a ton of fun. Special thanks to EVERYONE involved.”

“The guests, the sponsors, the production teams, friends and family, and of course everyone who tuned in to watch us embrace Insanity’s Ballad.”

“Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe to everyone involved.”

“The full list will be in the description.”

“Until next time, bye!”

The girls then let out a huge sigh before breaking out in laughter and hugging each other.

“That was insane! Guess you really are the queen of crazy,” Leona laughed.

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to join me in all this. I wouldn’t have done any of this if I hadn’t met a crazy girl like you,” Astrid smiled.

“Yeah, I’m glad I found a great friend like you willing to do dumb stuff with me.”

After they had embraced each other for a bit, Kageyama walked up to Astrid holding the blue bear he made.

“Astrid Jonsson, I love you. Will you marry me?”

He then unfolded the bear’s arms revealing a box containing a ring. Astrid froze with her mouth open in shock for a bit, before smiling.

“Yeah, it’s thanks to you that I’ve been able to indulge in my thrill-seeking dare challenges. You helped get me settled in here when I moved in and have been my biggest supporter. Though are you sure you can handle a crazy girl like me? I literally had my head lasered before doing all that crazy shit on stream after all.”

“I’ll happily laser my head to make you happy.”

“Well then let’s do it. If you follow through, I’ll marry you,” Astrid laughed.

She then dragged a happy Kageyama away as Sven and I crossed our hearts for him.

“Brave soul that Kageyama,” Sven said.

“Well, you’d have to be crazy to be willing to devote yourself to Astrid,” I stated.

“Ha, you’re a crazy man yourself considering your girlfriend’s just as crazy.”

“Yeah, it’s that energetic and fun personality of hers that makes me love her so much.”

“Ga ha! That’s my grandson!” my grandfather laughed, as he walked by holding a frog toy.

“What’s that?”

“My student took inspiration from one of my old toys and used my teachings to make this frog camera. Naturally, this baby also recorded his proposal. If he had done it on air, you would have been outshined,” he laughed.


After changing out of my costume, I walked over to Leona.

“Well how do I look she smiled?”

She now looked just as hairless as Astrid, though without the destroyed hair follicles.

“Bright and beautiful as always,” I smiled.

“Say, let’s go on a walk just you and me, I wanna spend some lovey dovey time with you.”

“A date it is then. Though is it OK to leave?”

“Yeah, Astrid said it was fine. Besides, the team’s gonna be busy turning Kageyama into a hairless freak, so wouldn’t want to get in their way.”

“Ha ha, that’s rich coming from you.”

“Hey, I may not have any hair or eyebrows, but at least they’ll grow back unlike the Hageyamas.”

“She’ll wax your head again if she heard that.”

“All the more reason to get out of here and go on a date,” Leona laughed.

Mario Nakano 64