Where Our Rivers Meet

Sassara wiggled behind him. "Conan! What are you doing? Let me down so we can take the elevator."

"No."

"But you're still sick!"

He scoffed. "Sick? Sick? I think you're the sick one with those two slabs of minced meat you call feet."

She couldn't help laughing despite the frustration. "But there's five floors." Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and her chin bumped lightly against the top of his head with each step.

"Uhm Sassara, I think you misunderstand the situation here," he started. They were already finished with the first floor. "You can help me as much as you want. But I'm still the guy in the relationship. So if you're hurt, I carry you. If someone threatens you, I beat them up. And if you don't agree with those basic rules, then jokes on you, because I'm stronger. So I get the final say on this."

She shook against him, and he felt something wet fall on his head. "Are you crying?"

"No," she said with a sob.

He grabbed her legs more firmly. "Why are you crying Sassara? Did I say something bad?"

"No," she said again, still shaking. "It's just too much."

"What's too much."

"In my heart," she sniffed. "When you disappeared in the bathroom, I knew something was wrong. And you raised your voice, and it reminded me of how my ex used to shout." Raindrops fell on his head. "I was so scared that I was losing you, that you wouldn't listen to me." 

His heart tugged. Her grip around him tightened.

He could hear her broken voice, but at least the tears had stopped raining down his head.  "But you listened," she continued. "You apologised, and you talked to me even though it was tough." She kissed his head. "And you were so good. You always are, and I just feel so lucky. I'm so happy I was right, Conan. I'm so happy you're my boyfriend."

They passed the second floor.

"So I am your boyfriend?"

She laughed in between her tears. "Of course you idiot. I wouldn't go to a family diner otherwise."

"But we haven't kissed yet."

"Yeah, well, I'll just have to seduce you more then."

"You don't have to."

She sniffed, and her tears started again. "Then why won't you kiss me?" She sounded so frustrated.

He laughed. God, she was so cute.

"Because I'm the dumbest man on earth."

"You are."

They arrived on the third floor.

Why, though? Why?

And he saw her wave hello again.

Could it turn into a goodbye wave?

He had become mushy since the start of the conversation. But right here and then, his throat tightened for real.

Dammit. Fuck.

"I think," he started, and had to stop, his throat still shaky. "I think that I've been keeping one leg out of the water, because I tell myself that if I do that, then if one day you leave, I won't be as hurt. Because." 

Breathe.

"If I go in this with both feet, then, if we break up, it would be," he inhaled before he lost his composure. "It would be the most painful thing I'd experience." But he could not keep it in anymore. It was too much. Too many emotions since dinner. And his vision blurred again as he continued to climb. "I'm scared of what will happen when we graduate," he finally said. "Sometimes it feels like I'm already losing you."

They reached the fourth floor.

Her palms slid under his eyes, and cleared his view. "Conan," she said, and tightened her grip again. "I'm wrapped around you. And I'm not going anywhere."

He knew. He knew that. But still. "But what will we do after high school?"

She took a moment before answering.

"Do you remember how my dad was desperately running to get the boogie?"

"Yeah." He scoffed. "Your dad said it was a lost cause until I showed up."

"Yeah. My hero saw a poor dad running after a lost cause. And you stepped up. And then we waved at each other. And then we met at school, and we trained in judo. And all this was possible because you grabbed the boogie Conan."

His heart burst.

"You grabbed it. Because you're a wonderful person. And because you grabbed it, now I can grab on to you."

There was nothing else to climb. 

He stood in front of his door. 

His legs were weak, but not because of the stairs. 

He let Sassara slide down his back. 

"Conan..."

He wrapped one arm around her waist, and cupped her face with the other one. 

"From the moment I saw you, I knew I would regret letting you go. And I did anyway."

He leaned into her. Her warm breath against his own. His heart fluttered, her lips parted.

His voice was hoarse. 

"I'm not letting you go anymore."

He kissed her. 

And it felt like they had always done so. Like Conan had forgotten all about it until now.

And her lips tasted like bliss. She gasped, and he felt her tremble.

"My legs," she panted, and he saw they were shaking.

He laughed. "If you don't want to walk, just say so."

The tension, the kiss, it was just too much, and Sassara laughed as well.

He picked her up. Leaned her against his front door, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Conan," she choked. He gazed her face, and saw she was crying.

 "Why are you crying now?"

"Because I'm so happy," she sobbed. 

He did not answer. Instead, he kissed her face where the tears had run. And they kept on running. And he kept on kissing. And he felt his own tears roll down. She snuggled closer to him. Took his mouth in her own. They gasped. Lips, tongues and teeth crashed against each other. 

"I love you Conan."

He choked on the love he felt.

"I love you too Boogie."

And the door opened.

They fell back inside the apartment.

Conan looked up.

"Mom! What are you doing here!" His voice was shrill.

"Oh Fiona! I'm so sorry," blabbered Sassara.

They were both red as tomatoes, and full of tears.

Fiona, weirdly enough, just gave them a big smile. 

"Stop fretting. Just come in. I had no more of my medicine so I'd come to take it." And then she saw Sassara's feet. "Oh my Goodness Sassara look at your feet! Sit in the living room, I'll go get things to clean them up." He turned to Conan. "I hope you carried her!"

"Of course I did."

Conan accompanied Fiona. They passed by a corridor where hung three photos. One for each siblings. 

He had Sassara and his siblings. He was ok now.

"Fiona?"

"Yes darling?"

"You know how when I meet people, they never guess that I'm Italian?"

"Yes?"

They arrived in her bathroom. "Well, knowing," and he stopped. 

Come on.

"Knowing Emilio's personality, I Imagine he would have wanted for his children to have Italian names."

She rummaged in the pharmacy box. "Oh yes, you're spot on about that."

"So then, how come we all have Irish names instead?"

Fiona stopped searching. She exhaled. And suddenly, in the small walls of their bathroom, his mom did not look like the Wonder Woman he usually saw, with her suit, and her earphones and her cheerful attitude.

She looked tired. Bu she smiled at Conan. 

"The thing is," Fiona started. "Emilio imposed that you children would have to call us by our first names. He had this idea, that we were our own beings, before being a parent. That letting you call us Mom and Dad took something from our identities."

Conan just nodded.

"So I told him, alright. If his identity was so important to him then fine I wouldn't be called Mom." Her voice broke when she said that word. "But I told him that in exchange, I was the one who had full rights over your names." Because you may have his Italian blood, but you're my babies too. 

Conan nodded, but his eyes burned again.

For fuck sake what was it with tonight?

"So," Conan started, hesitant. "Now that Emilio is not here anymore, then in that case," 

Step up.

"Can," and he inhaled. "Can I call you Mom now?"

She  sobbed. "Of course baby." And she took her big son in her arms. "You can call me mom, máthair, you can call me anyway you want." Conan stayed tucked in her shoulder as he cried. "You call me any way you want, I will always answer you."

Sassara appeared in the doorway, and stepped back when she saw the scene.

He grinned. "Come here Boogie." He grabbed her hand before she had time to disappear.

"Sassara, let me present you my Mom." His mother smiled at Sassara, eyes still wet.

"Mom, this is my girlfriend Sassara."

The two women shook hands, beaming.

"It's amazing to meet you."

"It's amazing to meet you," her Mom said. "Let's take good care of this man together."