Pun Detectives and the Case of the Missing Music! (Part 9)

That’s right. I had (probably) Striking Eyes right where I wanted her. And that meant if she really could clue me in like everyone so far had insinuated, then I could question her all I wanted and finally expect some decent answers. All I had to do here was regain my composure. Slow down and stop doing things her way. Stop letting her attitude trip me out.

I looked into her eyes. They looked back, two clear blue pools bounded by black half moons made of makeup. Lots of makeup.

“Why do they call you Striking Eyes?” I asked, only to sate my own curiosity. It had nothing to do with the case.

“Seriously? How is it not obvious. It’s this. Get it? This.”

W-wait. What?

She rolled her striking eyes. “Do I to have spell everything out? Watch: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii."

Oh. Now eye get it. Oops — I mean, I get it. Her "I"s. They’re struck out.

“I could say the same to you though,” she said. “Why do they call you a detective when you can’t even figure out basic stuff?”

“Just so you know, I didn’t sign up for this job.”

“Oh, really?” She kept twirling her hair around her finger. Her wrist was spiraled with jingly bracelets. “Well, that’s lame.”

I guessed all she minced was people’s egos, not words.

She kept going. “I mean, you definitely looked a lot more…. I don’t know, detectivey when I saw you online…? You know, like… smarter? No… taller? Cooler? Actually, never mind. You looked exactly the same online as you do right now.”

Great. Something told me she didn’t mean that in a good way.

I sighed this time. I may not have signed up for this, but I did have to put up with it. So I figured we had better get started.

The Questioning of Striking Eyes

Q: “Where were you this morning? I didn’t notice you in the music room during zero period like everyone else. Why was that?”

A: “I was at my job. The slushy machine broke. I had to stay late and fix it.”

Q: “Ok. I just wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Lily already told me that. She looked into it while questioning the other girls and corroborated with Mr. Treble later on.”

A: “Then don’t waste my time. Places to be, remember?”

Q: “Sorry. Well then, what can you tell me about the disappearance of the violins? Anything at all. Just tell me everything you know.”

A: “Nothing.”

Q: “Come again?”

Q: “You heard me. Nothing. I have, like, no clue about any of this. I wasn’t even here this morning after all. I just want my violin back from whatever creepazoid took them. I don’t know any more than that.”

A: “Wow. That’s a surprise. And like most surprises, a complete and utter letdown. Are you absolutely sure?”

Q: “Do I look unsure?”

A: “You sure don’t.”

Q: “There you go.”

A: “In that case, what can you tell me about Vance Valiance? Did you see him or speak to him today?”

Q: “Oooooooh, Vance? Yeah, I did see him this morning actually! He was doing great. Well, his face was all red, and his veins seemed like they were about to pop, and his arms and legs looked like they could give any minute, but besides all that I mean. I stopped him to say hi, but he didn’t want to talk. And after I went out of my way to show him my literally award-winning smile — literally, it’s won awards — so early in the morning, too. Just cause you’re carrying a big, heavy box twice your size that you’re about to drop any minute doesn’t mean you have the right to ignore me, y’know? Can you believe that? Cause I can’t.”

A: “I can. But what did you say about a box? This was early in the morning, right? Right after zero period started? And he was lugging a box across campus?”

Q: “Yeah. I bet it was a birthday present for Marine. Crazy, right? Back when I first found out she had a thing for Vance, I was like, “Yeah? Who doesn’t?” Well, besides me of course. I don’t. Oh, get that part down in writing, would you? I’m not into Vance. But Marine was. Is. And I mean, like, get in line, right? That’s what I said anyway. But good for her. Looks like she cut right to the front. I never thought gifting a guy your swim locker would work, but here we are, I guess. Well, that or always wearing a swimsuit around him. Even if it is one of the boring professional ones with a wet cap. She’s on the swim team too, just like Vance is. She’s on the girls’ team though, obviously. She also does lacrosse though too, so I bet she’s cramming all her swimming stuff in her lacrosse locker now. I feel so bad for her. I wonder what he got her. For her birthday, I mean. It’s in a couple days, you know. Whatever he got her, it was probably what was in that big box he was carrying, like I was saying. What if it was a big cake? Or, like, maybe a puppy? Well, maybe not. There weren’t any holes in the box for it to breathe out of. Oh, I know! Maybe there’s nothing inside and it’s just box after box after box till you get to a super small box, and then there’s really nothing inside. Wouldn’t that be romantic? I think it would be so romantic. Imagine all the romantic things you could do with, like, a million empty boxes. You could—”

#

“Wait a minute. J-just please. Stop.”

I had to interrupt her, or else she would’ve kept going, going, gone till the point of all of this was nothing more than a distant memory. Even I knew girls like to gossip, but this was edging filibuster territory.

“Why?”

“I don’t think it was a birthday present in that box. In fact, I’d bet dollars to donuts it wasn’t.” No, that box wasn’t hiding a birthday cake or a dog or anything of the sort. What it was hiding was in fact…

The end of Pun Detectives and the Case of the Missing Music (Part 9)!
To be continued in Part 10!