Lost Time

 “Oh great, now this guy is bringing in even more women.”

“Of course it’d be a girl. It’d be stupid to expect anything else.”

Mercy and Marcia both act as the peanut gallery to the scene.

“I-It’s a pleasure to meet you, but this… is a bit much. You don’t need to bow like this and I really don’t deserve it in the first place.”

“Oh come now, Juna. Can’t you tell that Khiron has been telling his new friend all about you? How sweet! The first chance he gets and he can’t keep his mouth shut about his most beloved bond!” Venna is off in her own world.

Though her assumption would make perfect sense, there’s no chance I can correct her given the unbelievable truth behind Justice’s actions.

“It’s a high honor to meet you. Though you may not know why that is, I will yet pay my respects.” Justice doubles down with her formality and honoring Juna.

Her deep bow finally raises and with a final showing of respect, she goes on her way greet the other maidens.

“You’re so, so, so darling! I didn’t know that such cute and young knights could be given such a high honor of being a body guard to our kingdom’s finest! My, you must be so magnificent in what you do.” Venna is nothing but glee and praise for Justice.

“I was given the privilege of being trained by the best. I’m here to serve and will protect the Celestial Knight with my life.”

“So adorable!” A high squeal squeaks out from Venna who skips and jumps from one foot to the other. “Please, oh please, you must let me dress you up and speak with you over tea! You’re just too delightful! Such a dutiful little warrior!”

“Well, this is definitely her.” Justice speaks with a deflated tone.

“If you’d all like to meet and speak with Justice, you can do so at her leisure. As for me, I really want to deprogram myself for the night. A hot bath would be nice before I sleep.”

“Please, master. Allow me to-”

“I’ll draw that bath for you and take those dirty clothes off your hands.”

Jupa had prepared to pick up the bag I’d left behind, but Juna was faster on the draw. She holds it close to her body along with her bouquet. A cold stare makes her eyes so viciously frosty to her fellow maiden.

“You were doing something about food. I think you have your matters to tend to. So it’d be best you’d go on your way lest something bad happen in the kitchen.”

“I can assure you that in all of my training as a maid, I have had a marvelously stellar record in my handling of a kitchen space.” Jupa’s smile is sweet despite Juna’s harsh disposition. “I will do so. May you take good care of master.”

She dips into another polite bow and goes on her way. Juna shifts the bag and bouquet into one hand and quickly snags mine with hers that is newly freed.

“Now, let’s go and get you comfortable. You must be so exhausted from everything you’ve been through today.”

I look to Justice and catch her sending me a firm nod to assure me that she’d be fine spending some quality time with the maidens.

✩ ✩ ✩

Juna had quickly made for a detour to distribute her bouquet into her room before she was quick to begin the bath. I’d taken a breather on the side but had soon entered into the washroom to meet her. There she sits on the edge of the tub with her sleeves rolled up her arms and a delicate smile on her face. Though when she sees me, that smile falters and she faces away.

“I can’t thank you enough for going through this trouble.”

“It’s no trouble at all. It’s the least I could do.”

Our talk comes and goes at record pace. Although we’d had our storied history as the closest of friends, I can tell that things will continue being a bit awkward unlike we’re used to for a time. Her recovery is ongoing.

“It’s a good thing I’d had an extra pair of clothes reserved for me once I’d returned from Pride. It would have been odd to have walked about town in bloodied clothes.” I bid to begin a new conversation.

“…I hadn’t seen you wear that jacket in so long. I was surprised to see it in that bag. For a while you’d had a habit of only ever wearing your uniform, even on your days off.”

“I guess my thoughts of being the Celestial Knight started weighing on me. I’d thought that it’d looked much more official and professional.” I let myself have a moment to watch her as she keeps her eyes on slowly filling tub. “But look at you. This really is a new fashion I haven’t seen. It’s surprising. You’re usually all about freedom of movement when it comes to your clothes.”

“This?” She looks down to what she wears. “I’d had this jacket for a long time, but I’d never really worn it. And I’d never really thought that these clothes would suit me at all.”

“Well, you were being too harsh of a judge. They look great on you. It’s a nice change from the norm. But then again, anything would look top shelf worn by you.”

She blushes brightly to my praise. Shifting about so timidly, she faces a grateful smile towards me but for a fraction of a second.

“You too. You’re always so handsome.” And at her own words, she shudders. “Sorry. That’s maybe a bit…”

“I’m grateful. But… it does make me feel… a bit shy.” I ease up our tension with a laugh. “But Juna, your hair.”

“I’m sorry. It’s a bit of a mess right now, isn’t it? I’d tried my best to do something with it, but it’s…”

I reach out to her and move the long bang covering her right side, letting my palm rest on her cheek as I do so. I take a good look into those red eyes I’ve always loved and see her face so clearly.

“No, it looks beautiful. You’d always cut your hair if it became longer than you’d liked, so it’s something else to see it like this.”

For all of our years together, she had always had a magnetism to her. A charming allure that drew me near to her. But as she sits so timidly before me, the elegance of her features clear to see before me, I’m drawn even closer.

“I don’t know how it had gotten so long, but there’s something about it that makes me…”

“I… Hasn’t it always been this long? I’m… I just…” She stutters at a loss and her composure beings to find its faults. “Khiron, I… I’m… Ah! Aaaah!”

Having been seated at the edge of the tub, her precarious positioning does her no favors as she’d flinches. Her balance crumbles and she begins to fall. In a flash of panic, I reach out and grab her, unwittingly doing nothing to prevent her fall, I’m instead taken along with her.

The sound of splashing comes as we crash into the water together.

“Are you alright?” I ask her, staring down at her beneath me.

“Ah… That’s… Yes. I’m fine.”

“That’s good. I was worried there for a moment. I-”

With her before me, my arms at either side of her, I take notice of her state. Her wet hair and clothing clinging to her body takes a close and intimate shape. From her thin, slender stomach to the rising hourglass figure she has, its all so apparent. And despite that I’d seen her dressed in less countless times, something about this happening brings my heart to pound.

“You’re safe… that’s good. I’m glad.” I speak to fill the air while my mind begins to run off of its rails.

“Yes… Thanks to you, I’m fine. All thanks to you… I’m safe…”

I remember to mind my manners and raise my eyes from her body and to her face where our gazes lock. The way she’s so sensitive and defenseless stirs about in my chest. Her timid but gorgeously welcoming eyes only serve to push me further.

I pick up from where I’d left off before we’d taken our spill and kiss her. Feel her warmth, feel how delicate she truly is.

“Khiron, I-”

I silence her with my lips as I draw her back in and give into the hunger I feel to take her to myself. My actions do all the talking, no longer wishing to speak with words. Feeling more of her, desiring more of her to the point where I can see nothing else but her in my world.

I let my hand fall to her waist to feel its soft and womanly form and that hand begins to find its own way bit by bit. Until I’m there just before the topmost of her feminine being. But I withhold and catch my body before it can outrun my mind.

“That was… quite the fall. Your clothes are all wet now. I was thinking of… wearing these to sleep but… I think I’ll need a new set.” I speak to her while catching my breath. “Could you get them for me?”

I rise from the water and offer my hand to her. Her eyes are misted, left in a trance but she finds her back and is left a burning red. Grasping onto me, she rises with my help.

“But you’re all wet too. I suppose we should do something about that.”

I begin to help her out of her jacket and she easily gives into my touch. Though I’d caught myself before, I still continue to fight every impulse that comes to me. Next to come off is her shirt, revealing her cute white and pink bra. Just below, I see the scar from that night still lightly visible beneath her rib cage.

All of the weight of the water causing her long skirt to hold fast to her body affords me the opportunity to help her out of it. And then there before me, clad in only her underclothes, I stare at her and all the beauty I’ve always admired but denied for myself. Yet the moment I think of my own clothes falling, memory of the scar returns and I’m finally woken up to a sober mind.

“You should get new clothes as well. Its likely to be a bit cold on the way there, so here.”

I pick a towel off from the rack and wrap it around her body.

“Please go on ahead. I’d made you fall in the water so this is on me.”

“I…” She continues to stutter so shyly in her new, temporary frame of mind. The blush on her cheek extends even further across her body and I see it well. “What if… we… we go in… together?”

My heart thunders at her suggestion and I can feel my breath catching, becoming so hot and thin. But I remind myself the of the truth and stabilize.

“I hadn’t quite heard you.” I know now she’s too shy to try again, so I find the simplest excuse. “Now go on. I’ll rest a bit in the bath and we can meet together after. Maybe tomorrow. Thank you… for all of your help.”

Her defeat and embarrassment is so openly betrayed by the way she tilts her head towards her toes. She slowly walks out of the washroom and leaves me to my lonesome. I shut the door and secure its lock. Collapsing into a heap, I catch my breath and do everything in my training as a knight to find my resolve once again.

How sweetly tempting it was. How much heartache it gives me.

“If only…”

✩ ✩ ✩

“To forever be watched by the loving moon. Together until even beyond the end of the world we know. Two united in love.”

I’d watched as he slipped the ring onto her finger and looked to her with only the most endearing love in his heart. The sight of her starry blue eyes was enough to make his soul ring. And yet no matter the joy they’d felt together, they were both so stricken with a pain during that moment they had so long dreamed would come.

Her long, white hair was gorgeously adorned with glittering stones that shone in the light of the imprisoned moon. All of Stelaris had gathered to see them at last bound in marriage. And every one, he knew, had long anticipated this day.

She had promised him that not even death could stop their love and no matter what, she would be there to watch over him, to love him, to protect him. She was always his ideal and he adored her more than anything he’d ever known.

He’d sworn his vows that he would always make, but there was one that he’d stuttered upon before skipping past it entirely. At time had gone by through the perils and troubles they’d faced together, his hopes of returning to Celestia had grown dim. He was fearful that his greatest promise would be left unfulfilled. So he’d let it go and she’d let him be at ease. Understanding.

When it came time to swear their unity before all of their audience and the face of the moon, he drew her near and looked into her peaceful eyes. Those peaceful eyes that had always soothed away his worries and pains.

And he kissed her.

As his kiss ended and he released her, I’d no longer seen the world through his eyes. And there before me was her; the woman I’d adored for all of those years since we’d first met.

“We’ll be together forever.”

“And never to part.” I completed her promise with a full smile on my face.

And yet I was every bit as pained as Fortino had been when he looked into his own lover’s eyes.

I’d had this dream before.

When I was a fledgling in the academy with her, I’d entertained the thoughts of making Juna my bride and living the rest of my life with her. And yet I’d locked that deep and aching desire deep down inside of me.

All because of that damned scar.

As I sit in the water, returning from my daydreaming, the memories that came with it, I contemplate painful thoughts.

“I don’t think you realize how amazing you are. Of all history, you are the only person who has ever been afflicted with this illness who has survived.” Uria had so confidently declared that to me as we’d discussed the scar.

“Every day I live is painful. This isn’t a mark of pride, this isn’t a trophy. This is the mark of the most disgusting creature on earth!”

“No.”

Her voice was resoundingly firm. The way she looked at me wasn’t in anger nor contempt. Her eyes told me that she’d wished that I could only fathom how she saw me at that moment.

“What you see as hideous another would see as endlessly fantastic. When others gave up, you overcame. Where others never returned and left their families behind, you’d lived for those you’d called your own. I’m a scientist and I’m a student. I know what I believe when I’ve heard your story and that’s that you are worthy of praise for just being here. Let alone everything else you’ve ever accomplished while bearing that burden.”

I remember her words and they hurt me more deeply than she could ever know. Because every bit of what she had done had made me rethink my life from that horrible hour I’d been condemned. Uria had had nothing but kindness waiting for me the moment she’d learned the truth of my affliction.

Had I let my fear rule my life? Had I let that scar tear me away from my most beloved dreams? How many opportunities had I missed because I had been too afraid to war against my most defeated imaginings?

If I had never been torn apart by Eclipse, then what would I have done?

I remain listless and I ponder that while I imagine once more how it would be like to feel her warmth against me.