Let Me Fall Apart

“Oh, Michiru-san it seems I have caught you at a bad time.”

I look up and it is my ghost kohai Hiroko.

“I’m sorry, I’m ok.” I say and finish getting up off the floor.

“It does not seem that way to me. I am here right now so you have someone to talk to.”

“You’re right. I do really have someone to talk to. I mean someone who can actually listen anyways.”

“Yes, I know we are not that close but we are all we have right now and I believe we have to help each other out if there are any problems, we cannot deal with by ourselves emotionally.”

I let out a small laugh.

“Sorry for the laugh but that’s the kind of thing I’d expect from a very motherly figure like you.”

“I do not know if I should be pleased or insulted.”

“It means that you woulda been a great mother.”

“Thank you. Now what is the problem?”

“Oh, it’s just that my parents just came in here and discussed packing up all my things and turning my room into a home office.”

“Oh, I see.”

“This was a part of my life and now it’ll be gone forever.”

“This is a very nice room indeed.”

Hiroko looks around the room and stops at the bookshelf resting a finger at the space that once held the book I gave to her.

She turns back around to me and continues, “However, our time has passed and everyone we left behind needs to continue on with their lives and not be forced to dwell on our absence. It seems you have not fully come to terms with that realization.”

“But we are here. I’m here now!”

“We were afforded this time as a gift. We will be gone once our mission is complete. We are just here to set events back on their proper course. We are visitors not unlike the tourists at the places we visited when we first met.”

“These things are all that is left of me being here.”

“These are just things. You may have memories of them but to others, they are just things to be bought or sold or even thrown away. The real memories are the ones each individual person holds dear to them and either keep to themselves or share with others. We are gone but not forgotten.”

I don’t know why but, I just reach out and hug her while tears flow down my face.

“Oh! That’s ok. You can let it all out.”

She puts one arm around me and the other on my head gently rubbing it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just did that.”

“It’s ok. I understand. Just take your time. We are all that we have to rely on after all, so we need to support one another whenever we can.”

“Thank you so much. I guess it all just finally hit me and I couldn’t hold it back any more.”

I continue holding Hiroko tightly and she continues rubbing my head.

“Remember I was in a state not too dissimilar than you are now when you first saw me in the graveyard. Thankfully you were there to help me collect myself and to guide me on my way. I believe you were not so lucky when you arrived so I am glad that I can provide some comfort to you now.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I feel a lot better now.”

I let go of Hiroko, she reciprocates and I wipe my face the best I can.

“Are you sure? I have plenty of time to listen if you would like.”

“No, I’m better now but, what brought you here in the first place?”

“Oh! I wanted to ask you something. However, I will need you to come with me. I will need to show you first.”

“Ok, Well let’s go then.”

“If you still need to spend time here, we can wait.”

“No, my parents won’t be packing things up until next Saturday so I have plenty of time to let go. Speaking of go, let’s go.”

“Alright I will take us there.”

Hiroko reaches her hands out and grabs my shoulders.

We close our eyes and we are no longer in my room.