aftermatch

8th December 2456

       So I've said it all and I felt better in the moment. After that, not very much. I am thinking about it now and it's like she knows everything about me. I Don't know if spitting it all out was a good idea. Would she ever use it against me in the future? Who knows? I don't know her that well so maybe she is hiding some kind of toxic personality trait and when the time is right for her, she will have a hell of an arsenal.

       Why would she do it in the first place? I don't know. it popped into my head like many other things. If I had something on her, that would make us even. Probably not the best way 

to think about it.

       I put back my notebook in the drawer and went to bed, staring at the ceiling.
I can't get  my head around it, how to feel about everything. Have I done the right thing?
Did I even have  a choice? Maybe this is the change that I wanted. Maybe she will change now.

       While I was lying, my phone beeped out of nowhere. I didn't feel like getting up at all,
but the curiosity was killing me. And when I checked the notifications, it was kind of expected.
Shara texted me, trying to talk again about what happened today. Asking me how I feel and stuff. It's nice of her but don't want to start digging it up again. What even is there to talk about?

       I was too beaten up to reply, but the more minutes passed by, the more guilty I felt about ignoring her message.

"Dunno, I feel the same I guess. I don't feel like doing anything, but happens often."

"Maybe relieved? :)"

"Not really."

"Thanks again for trusting me, it means a lot to me."

"Yeah."

"You in a bad mood?"

"No, I am fine. I am just too tired to even think."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Nah, but thanks for asking. I don't need anything."

"Okay."