"Do you want to talk about it?"
She nodded firmly. So, we decided to change the location to have a better conservation. I know, I said that I didn't want to have anything to do with her but... leaving her like this is one thing I can't do. Even if the crying person wasn't her I wouldn't let them be, maybe because she was Yoshida I felt more obliged to be with her. She usually had an easygoing aura around her, that's why I was surprised when I saw her making this gloomy expression. We were walking side by side without saying anything, I wasn't able to tell what she was thinking.
We were sitting in a cafe which was very near to our school, that was the reason many customers here were students from our school and because Yoshida was quite famous, we were getting stares from everywhere. I didn't like those stares, I could feel all the negative emotions that came with those stares. It was as if they were saying 'Who does he think he is, to be near her?', I ignored that as there was something more important.
I picked up the menu which was placed on the table between me and her. When I glanced at the content of the menu, I realized,
'This is my first time coming to a place this fancy, isn't it?'
People usually hang out here with their friends as it is the closest place to school. I, on the other hand, felt like I didn't belong to this place, coming here alone was out of the question, I'd rather order something online and eat it alone at home. I never thought I would come to this place, let alone with her under these conditions. The air between us felt heavy, there was no way we could talk, so I broke the ice,
"Yoshida-san, do you want to order something?"
As I spoke, she looked at me with a puzzled expression, and understanding what I said, she quickly glanced at the menu. We decided what to order so I called the waiter over,
"Are you ready to order, Sir?"
"Yes, um... a Chocolate banana waffle, Orange juice, and... iced coffee, please."
"Okay, Chocolate banana waffle, orange juice, and iced coffee, Is there anything else you would like to add, sir?"
She repeated what we ordered to confirm if everything was right.
"No, that would be all."
"Order noted, please wait a few minutes before we serve you your order."
"Ok, thanks."
I reflexively thanked him, he didn't mind and went to the counter. The table again fell into silence,
"So?..." I said.
She was fidgeting her fingers, she tried to speak but no sound came out. The words just stuck in her throat, she fell silent again,
"..."
I sighed.
"...Do you know", I spoke out of nowhere, "there was a time I liked a girl."
She was dumbfounded by my words, well even I didn't know why I said that. It was probably because of the confession incident, that triggered my memories and there was nothing else I could talk about. Watching her struggle was too hard for me, so I spoke about the first thing that came to my mind,
"I even confessed to her."
"..."
She looked at me with interested eyes, I continued,
"But she rejected me on the spot. She was my first crush, you can't get together with your crush, right?"
"..."
She became even more sad,
"Are you still... " She finally spoke,"... Still friends with her?"
"No"
"...is it because you confessed to her?" She looked even more disappointed.
"Well, confession is one of the reasons but it was in my junior high, so it's given that we won't meet after we enter the high school."
I remember now after I went back to school, that girl pretended to be friendly like there was nothing changed. But I could feel the change, there was a wall between us, one wrong step, and one of us could get hurt in the process. So, I also pretended that everything was normal but as time passed we grew even more distant, to the point that we didn't even talk anymore. Now, I don't even remember her name anymore.
"...I see."
"What I am saying is that even If I was rejected, I didn't stop there. Yes, I was sad for a while, but as time passed I got rid of those feelings..." I paused for a moment and chose my next words carefully, "... If you're struggling with something, you can overcome it with time. If someone like me can do it you can also do it."
I was motivating her but for some reason, it felt like I was motivating myself.
"Sho? Tell me, what do you think of me?"
"What do you mean?"
"...Do you see me just as a friend or?"
To be honest, I don't see her as a friend, She was more than a classmate to me. But can't say that, it was a rude thing to say.
"A friend...", I replied.
She brightened up a little as if she saw a new hope.
"Just friends?", she asked.
"Yes, just friends."
She finally smiled, and her mood got a little better. I didn't know why she was asking such weird questions, but it was embarrassing to answer. I mean asking a high schooler 'Are we friends? ' felt like an elementary kid type thing to do.
"Sho, can I ask you to do something selfish?"
I was taken aback by her words. Something selfish, I had a bad feeling from this,
"... As long as I can do it."
"You know ever since I was little, I was surrounded by people. Back then I didn't know why that was. Do you know the reason?"
I nodded. If I was to guess it was probably because everyone thought she was pretty and that attracted all the attention of people around her. It was still true to this date.
"Everyone came to me and I was happy about it. As time passed, they started confessing one after another... " She paused.
I looked at her silently and waited for her to continue,
"...After they confessed I rejected them and each time this cycle continued. The person who confessed to me became sad and some of them even started crying. But... "
" Here's your order. "
The things we ordered were finally here. I only ordered iced coffee but she ordered raffle and juice. The waitress placed the items on the table, and we both were silent while she was placing everything. I noticed that she was a high schooler like us, not only that we were in the same class. She was,
"Sakura-chan? That's you, right?"
Yes, she was Sakura Miyamoto. She was bubbly, outgoing, and full of energy. She's the type of person who lights up the room with her presence and is always ready to strike up a conversation with anyone. Despite her fashionable exterior, Sakura is incredibly down-to-earth and approachable, making her popular among her peers. She's passionate about fashion and loves sharing her latest style discoveries with others. Sakura is confident and self-assured, but she also has a caring and empathetic side, always willing to lend a listening ear to her friends, which gives mature vibes to her.
She smiled at Yoshida,
"Sakura-chan, I didn't know you worked here. By the way, You look cute in your uniform."
"Thanks... I usually have shifts on weekends but today we were short-staffed. So they called me."
The gloominess that Yoshida was previously emitting was nowhere to be found, it's like she returned to her usual self. Miyamoto looked at me, so I bowed a little to greet her and she did the same, she gave me a wry smile,
"I think I should return now, I don't want to be a third-wheeler. Call me if you need something."
"You're already going?"
"I'm working here, so yeah."
"Ok, later then~"
As she left, Yoshida turned towards me. 'what was that smile for?'
"Shall we eat first?"
"Sure."
As we were about to start, we noticed something. The chocolate banana raffle had two spoons with it, Yoshida looked at me,
"Sho, do you want some?"
"No, it's alright."
Miyamoto was probably influenced by the rumors that were going around in the class, that's why she thought we were going out like others and we came here for a date. This probably will lead to more rumors, just thinking about it was making me feel tired. Yoshida started eating silently, she was taking small bites from the raffle, she looked like a small animal eating her food, so wholesome,
"You want it, right?"
I was looking at her while she was eating without realizing it. She pushed the plate towards me.
"Here, have some."
'There's no harm in trying it... Right?'
I picked up the unused spoon and took a small portion of the part that Yoshida was already eating. My portion was bigger than the bites Yosida was taking. The taste still lingered, so I drank my iced coffee over it. It went smoothly, it was better than anything I had eaten so far,
"It's delicious."
I looked at Yoshida, her face was all red and she was giving me an astonished look,
"What's wrong?"
"You're quite bold, aren't you?"
"What?"
"Never mind"
"... Ohk... "
I didn't understand what she was saying. It was getting awkward so I tried to change the topic,
"... About the favor?"
"Ah... yes about that."
She hesitated for a moment before continuing,
"Well... I just want you to not fall for me!"
She quickly spoke as if she was forcing every word. I was dumbfounded by her sudden words,
"What?"
"I told you about the confession, right?"
I nodded and asked her to continue,
"So, when I rejected the confessions of people close to me, they just grew distant. At first, I didn't think about it but this cycle repeated again and again... "
She went silent. I was trying to understand the meaning behind her words, she said 'Don't fall for me', which means she is afraid that I'll leave her after she rejects me like others. She just confirmed that we think of each other, which means she doesn't want to lose me. But then,
'that means maybe she likes me.'
That was the first thing that came to my mind. I quickly stood straight as if trying to reset my thought process.
'Nah, she, told me to not fall for her... '
I let out a sigh amazed by my thoughts. I thought I had lost all hope but deep down some emotions still lingered. I just need to harden my resolve even more now. So, what to do about Yoshida? So, I concluded. I drank the remaining iced coffee and placed the empty cup on the table,
"... Okay."
"..." (She didn't understand)
"I said it's fine."
She realized what I was saying,"But I'm being selfish here."
"It's fine...", I started looking at the empty cup that was placed on the table and continued," To tell you the truth, I never thought of you as a friend."
She was shocked upon hearing what I just said. I calmly continued,
"But you acknowledged me as your friend, this was the first time someone said it to my face. I was trying to not make any contact during my last year but here we are... So"
She gave me a look of anticipation.
"So, your request becomes invalid because that was my plan from the start. That's why
I'm happy to have you just as a friend..."
Her eyes sparked as if those words she wanted to hear the most and then a drop of tears fell from her eyes.
"Ah... what's wrong?"
She started crying out of nowhere.
'Did I say something that I shouldn't have, there goes my loner tongue once again'
" Happy... "
"... "
"I'm just happy. "
Only then did I realize that she wasn't crying because of me and she was happy with just what I said. That day I made a new bond, a bond that I failed to make in my last two years. It's funny it happened when I gave up.
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