Phil's Lame Adventures
Phil, finally could see his beloved mattress from the distance, but as he was getting closer, it seemed that something was on the top of it. Something big. Phil kept walking until he arrived right on front of his mattress and then stopped.
- “This is a giant wild boar isn’t it?”
‘Indeed it is... and is sleeping on your mattress.’
- “Indeed he is...”
‘What are you going to do?’
- “No idea...” As Phill was measuring the wild board, he realized that his horns had blood in it.
- “I think that this is the one that has been killing all those boars that we found on our way back.”
‘I wonder what happened in the short time that we were not here.’
- “Also curious about that... This one seems really strong so I don’t think that I can defeat it.”
‘So, isn’t better if you take the chance since he is sleeping and get away from here?’
- “It would be the smart thing to do... But I can’t give up on that mattress!”
‘You are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to this mattress. Does it have some sort of story?’
Phil while looking down waits for a little before answering and starts talking while raising his head slowly.
- “It was on a day of winter. I had just arrived at home tired of my mundane life and was about to do what I love the most. Rest. And- ”
‘Wait, it really does have a story?’
- “... and was when it happened.”
- “The doorbell rang. So I got up from the bed and went to see who it was.”
- “When I opened the door I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing!”
‘... and they were seeing?’
- “Lolis! A bunch of them!”
- “They were so cute! Asking me if I could buy the mattress. Apparently was to help to save a dog that was hurt. How could I not help?” Phil says while tears start coming out of his eyes.
‘If I didn’t already know that you were a scumbag I might actually be surprised... So you bought the mattress and then they saved the dog.’
- “No, I think the dog died, not sure. But the lolis will live forever in my heart. Isn’t such a heart-warming story?” – Phil says with a full-field expression.
‘You are disgusting...’
While Phil was explaining the reason of his love for the mattress the giant wild boar woke up. He was already huge, but now that he stood instead of lying on the mattress, he was monstrous and was ready to fight.
Phil, looked in the eyes of the boar and he did the same and after a couple of seconds of staring at each other, they both start sprinting against the other. Phil shouts out a war cry and the giant boar replies with a-
- “Scuse me do you know where I can get one of these mattresses? They are fabulous!” Yes, the giant wild boar just talked.
Phil stood there in shock. Then felt down on his knees and answers.
- “I don’t know.” He lets out a single tear.
- “Oh, bummer! Really wanted one. Guess it can’t be helped, bye then.” And the giant wild boar leaves.
A couple of seconds after, Phil gets up from the floor and starts running in the direction that the boar went, when he finally could see it he screamed.
- “Lolis!!! You have to find the Lolis!!”
The wild boar, who for some reason now stood on two legs, turns around and starts waving on understanding and yells back.
- “I will find these mysterious being called lolis and I will fight for the matress. Thank you my friend!”
- “Such a nice moment when the passion of two beings connect like this."
‘What the actually ****!’
Phil came back to the mattress and prepared the squirrels for dinner and after eating he went to sleep on the F****** mattress!